Name: Theo Von Making Riley Mau Uncomfortable
Uploaded: 2020-11-30T06:36:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Making Riley Mau Uncomfortable' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Making Riley Mau Uncomfortable' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-30. Transcript available.

he feels like you don't really that you don't bring a lot to the table riley
have people ever told you that in your life before or not oh all the time
i got a silent assassin here with me today or semi-silent and this is a young
fellow named
riley mau and um what is riley short for bud riley okay man okay so nothing see
back in the
old days you'd have a longer name you know rolandro you would be you know rolandro
or
you know low riley or something longer and riley would be short for something
right nope i'm just
riley okay all right beautiful man and you uh you have a favorite statue can't
say i do
you gotta have one man you should get one i like uh i'll tell you a couple of
mine you're
welcome to board if you need what there's one in um there was the tallest bob
hope statue
and that was in uh duran i believe it was duran illinois can you look that up
actually do you mind
really now um i hate to put you to work there but you got to do something you
know um tallest bob hope
statue you know 11 more people smoking crack near you and you're just wondering
how it all
financially made sense what do you have a tallest bob hope statue any
information oh you wanted bob hope
i looked at the statue of hope in uh friendship indiana oh okay what is that it
is a private
memorial or monument displayed in a graveyard or cemetery hope is one of the
seven virtues of the
christian religion so it's literally just about hope oh that's beautiful not
bob hope but okay
well that's close enough man if if you get that bob hope intel let us know riley
male you got any
information on that uh bob hope statue i do so it says that bob hope may be
something of a forgotten
figure as a los angeles times writer said in a november 29th story about a new
biography on the late
comedian hope entertainer of the okay what about the statue bubba there is a
nine foot five inch tall fiberglass and
cement uh statue that has stood for 34 years in uh rockford rockford illinois
yes sir wow
yeah man that's beautiful now something they see that's something you see
different places small towns
like to do that and like to honor something tallest statue bob hope did he ever
go see it does it say
and there you go ladies and gentlemen that's riley male right there you hear
that rain rally
i do it's cool huh yeah that's that's a lot that's a lot man that's cool
excuse my language man excuse my language also riley not a problem okay do you
where you're from do you
guys use a lot of profanity or what is it like over there so i am a christian
um and and an eagle scout
um i don't do swearing at all okay um that's just not me but i mean hey i don't
i don't judge okay
well you can judge me i'm gonna let you know that awesome you can judge me up
until the point that i'm
willing to accept it and then i'm gonna try to use less of it around you then
all right i might write
some of the words down and show you some of the ones in advance that i'm going
to use from now on just
i just don't want there to be not fair communication sure okay all right cool
man i'm spending all this
motherfucking dorm money on oh and why did he have to curse you think right
there riley mal who knows
it's just how how he talks yeah okay you're right you're right onward rally mal
hit us with a news item
brother well in a british wildlife park they have removed five cursing parrots
from public okay and we say cursing parrots what do you mean like parrots that
they're what
casting spells on pub on public i mean that they have foul language oh fowls
have foul language okay
and any other information they're giving you um it just says that the birds
shared the ability to
curse up a storm something they engaged in quite often okay so they're doing it
and where is it happening you said in a british wildlife park yep
yep have you disappointed a woman in your life riley mal oh have i i definitely
have
you heard about it yeah and how do you feel about it now and now that some time
has passed you fell in
love for a pregnant woman pretty much and i had no idea because she wasn't
showing yet so it was it
was very early in the stage and i i literally had no idea that pregnancy the
first three months it can
trick you you it used to be back in the old days riley a woman had a decent
womb in her
you know about it you heard about it yeah definitely were you breech birth riley
i was not
all right man well let's there's different ways to do it let's get into the
episode do you have any
birth defects or anything like that um can't say i have um i mean i'm a
musician like i said
but no when you were born were you missing anything to give any birth defects
um dang dude i'm not sure
i don't think so okay so straight up full birth yeah wow must be nice man have
you ever had any small
animals i have i had a dog when i was little okay that's great you ever done
any injectable drugs riley
mal i mean unless it's for surgery um the uh what do you call it the thing that
makes you go to sleep
for surgery other than that no anesthesia you mean yeah that okay that's the
thing but you never just
you know you and your buddy you know never pulled off the interstate and done
steroids or anything like
that nope unfortunately not do you do cocaine rally i don't all right so what
this man is asking about
is they'll have uh one of those fountains like a fake stone fountain where the
little guy is urinating
into the bird bath you know what i'm talking about rally you ever seen those or
not i've seen them
everywhere you have i have okay and when you see that what do you feel like
what is that
what is that is that cool is that lame what is it i mean i i just don't really
i don't really
have an opinion i just i see it and i just disregard it i i mean i couldn't
care less honestly okay and
there you go that's a young perspective they don't care any parting words you
have rally
no not at all
hi my name is henry i'm in middle school and well i'm pretty good with the bow
staff i train almost
every day and i hear that riley's asian so that's pretty much a given that well
he's in martial arts
so i challenge him to a duel uh gang
riley you got a child right there challenging you could you beat a child in a
contest i'm yeah i'm
pretty sure i can you think you can beat that kid's ass honestly henry um i i
don't know he he might
be faking the faking the voice he might be like a really tough guy i don't know
and how would you
approach it you think well i mean i would tell him you know come over to come
over to the middle east
and we'll uh we'll hash it out okay so there you go you got a real challenge
right there he's saying
bring it over to the central east you mean bring it over to the central east
and we'll hash it out
you know and that's how you right there people want to uh doubt on riley mal he'll
just he just
offered to beat the out of a damn middle schooler
so you know anybody that's been serial killed riley i don't no well live a
little brother i have two
friends who's have uh family members have been victims of serial killers or sks
they call them y'all
do the egg hunts over there for easter yeah um no well are you talking about
church or like just
in general church uh church no okay well could be a good church could not be a
good church i'm not
saying anything about east side man you know they sound like it sound like a
great outfit but it you
know hide an egg you ever send like you guys do a time capsule for christ or
anything like that
through church you guys do a you know send a rocket up to god or anything was
there any fun stuff like
that you did as children um not not for uh religious purposes but i mean i've
done time capsules i've
done rockets um my dad's a rocket engineer oh dang yeah yeah um but you ever
done it for god you guys
ever built something for the lord and just jacked that thing up into the sky no
i can't say i have not for
the lord i've just done it for the lord i've just done it for fun damn damn
damn you live in man i like
talking a lot um other than that um wow yeah i'm i'm a pretty quiet dude other
than that um yeah
football is finally back do you watch football riley now i'm not a big fan okay
great man are you paying
attention riley i am indeed okay just seem like you're not but that's all right
oh no i definitely
am okay thank you brother i do not believe you but i do appreciate that you
know we have a lot of
nice people listen to this podcast riley mouth
all right
um oh i remember this man you know halloween is coming up and i remember that
uh riley i wanted to ask you
what you thought about that do you guys practice that what is some of your
experience with that
um honestly uh i don't have an opinion i don't honestly all right um do you
remember ever being
costumed as a child did anybody dress you up and kind of trick you out at
different areas for sugar
you know what i'm talking about halloween what do you think riley you had any
experience with anything
like that i have not honestly
what else is going on man i'll say this uh i quit using the n-word probably
about four years ago when
everybody else did fully i mean i would never actively you know but people
would you know you
know you look at asians there's and there's also all different what i don't
like is get specific
with the racism these asians you know i've said it i've definitely said it i'll
be honest with you oh
yeah everyone has yeah you have a lot of body hair riley i don't
i would have guessed that man honestly really yeah and i hate to be now is that
racism if i guess that
you know what i'm saying kind of right now i get it um on it kind of yeah you
got your patrick
mahomes is out there this guy i mean who knows what he's doing this dude do
anything he wants
you got who's somebody that's mixed that does well riley um
me who else i'm trying to think of a female there's definitely other people
but here's what i'm saying is that this i think eventually all the rate every
race will be mixed
in two three centuries you're going to have everybody is going to be part
everything
do you know any rally any rate what groups that have racial tension um
japanese and germans there you go i feel like if you were black white uh
malaysian whatever right feeding a bread to a duck is normal right i've seen
literally anybody i could
imagine doing it right exactly amen the man was smoking crack and then made one
of the most
successful pillows of all time you know name another can you name another
pillar riley um
yeah the uh what do you call it um
like yeah you can't think of it because you can't think of it dude and that's
why the uh therapy
therapeutic um no no nope that's a mattress you're talking temple yeah you're
right yep pillow is just
for your head mattresses for your body right what's up big daniel out of
northeast arkansas you ever been
there riley i've not well actually what is northeast arkansas like what cities
man is anything else you want to share with this rally
um
i did see that a man told snake skin isn't a legitimate face covering
there you go
there you go there you go riley now anything else you need to say man
no i think this was a uh this was great i love being here great to be here i
like your attitude
brother i like your attitude man you ever had rib damage riley mount i have not
and i don't want to
there you go folks the hot take from riley mount baby what's a good sound you
think riley mount
i mean good sounds as in like just anything in general like a good sound yeah
um i mean laughter is a good
sound um i don't know rocket flying into space is a good sound and elephant i
like elephants elephants are a good sound
indiana it's uh spanish four
in in indiana indian oh indian i did not know that a lot of comedians will end
up getting into music
riley mount do you know that i do now
deaf signaling you know what is that called you know what i'm talking about riley
hand hand gestures um what's the name of it i think it's deaf signaling covington
that's my hometown
where did you did you know i was from somewhere riley i did not know exactly
where
well i am from covington louisiana do you know what it's famous for
cheese no wait that's wisconsin yep nope it is famous for tallest statue of ronald
reagan in america
do you have any trouble looking at pornography or anything like that i don't
wow really
god and have you always been that way oh
man and how do you do it you think i mean i just i just don't there's not
really a how i just don't
remarkable buddy okay
and this is a young fellow named riley mount
fellow named riley mount young fellow named riley mount fellow named riley
mount
i'm just riley riley riley riley i'm just riley young riley now you have a
favorite statue
i can't say i do okay man you hear that rain riley i do cool huh
homeward where you're from do you guys use a lot of profanity or what is it
like over there um i
don't do swearing at all okay have you disappointed a woman in your life riley
mount oh have i i
definitely have okay and how do you feel about it now and now that some time
has passed because she
she wasn't showing yet i literally had no idea yep and this is a young fellow
named riley mount
fellow named riley mount young fellow named riley mount
i'm just riley riley riley i'm just riley young fellow named riley mount it
used to be back in the
old days riley a woman had a decent womb in her you know about it you heard
about it yeah you know about
it you heard about it yeah were you breach birth riley no do you have any birth
defects i can't say i
have um i'm a musician so straight up full birth so straight up full birth you
ever done any injectable
drugs riley mount oh have i i definitely have do you do cocaine rally kind of
yeah okay when you see
that what do you feel like couldn't care less could you beat a child on a
contest i'm pretty sure i can
i'll tell him he just offered to beat the shit out of a damn middle schooler
couldn't care less
and this is a young fellow named riley mount fellow named riley mount young
fellow named riley mount
i'm just riley riley riley riley i'm just riley young fellow named riley mount
you know anybody
that's been serial killed riley i don't y'all do the egg hunts over there for
easter yeah no okay
well hot and egg who's somebody that's mixed that does well riley me northeast
arkansas
ever been there riley nope i've not well actually what is north east arkansas
like what's north east
arkansas what is north east arkansas like what's north east all right young
fellow named riley mount
fellow named riley mount young fellow named riley mount i'm just riley riley riley
riley i'm just riley
young fellow named riley mount football is finally back do you watch football riley
now i'm not a big fan
i'm not a big fan okay elfin i like elfin elfin i like elfin elfin i like elfin
elfin i like elfin
do you have any trouble looking at pornography or anything like that i don't
remarkable buddy and this is a young fellow named riley mount fellow named riley
mount young fellow named
riley mount fellow fellow named riley mount i'm just riley riley riley riley i'm
just riley young fellow named
riley mount there you go there you go the heart take from riley mount baby
you

Theo Von Making Riley Mau Uncomfortable

he feels like you don't really that you don't bring a lot to the table riley
have people ever told you that in your life before or not oh all the time
i got a silent assassin here with me today or semi-silent and this is a young
fellow named
riley mau and um what is riley short for bud riley okay man okay so nothing see
back in the
old days you'd have a longer name you know rolandro you would be you know rolandro
or
you know low riley or something longer and riley would be short for something
right nope i'm just
riley okay all right beautiful man and you uh you have a favorite statue can't
say i do
you gotta have one man you should get one i like uh i'll tell you a couple of
mine you're
welcome to board if you need what there's one in um there was the tallest bob
hope statue
and that was in uh duran i believe it was duran illinois can you look that up
actually do you mind
really now um i hate to put you to work there but you got to do something you
know um tallest bob hope
statue you know 11 more people smoking crack near you and you're just wondering
how it all
financially made sense what do you have a tallest bob hope statue any
information oh you wanted bob hope
i looked at the statue of hope in uh friendship indiana oh okay what is that it
is a private
memorial or monument displayed in a graveyard or cemetery hope is one of the
seven virtues of the
christian religion so it's literally just about hope oh that's beautiful not
bob hope but okay
well that's close enough man if if you get that bob hope intel let us know riley
male you got any
information on that uh bob hope statue i do so it says that bob hope may be
something of a forgotten
figure as a los angeles times writer said in a november 29th story about a new
biography on the late
comedian hope entertainer of the okay what about the statue bubba there is a
nine foot five inch tall fiberglass and
cement uh statue that has stood for 34 years in uh rockford rockford illinois
yes sir wow
yeah man that's beautiful now something they see that's something you see
different places small towns
like to do that and like to honor something tallest statue bob hope did he ever
go see it does it say
and there you go ladies and gentlemen that's riley male right there you hear
that rain rally
i do it's cool huh yeah that's that's a lot that's a lot man that's cool
excuse my language man excuse my language also riley not a problem okay do you
where you're from do you
guys use a lot of profanity or what is it like over there so i am a christian
um and and an eagle scout
um i don't do swearing at all okay um that's just not me but i mean hey i don't
i don't judge okay
well you can judge me i'm gonna let you know that awesome you can judge me up
until the point that i'm
willing to accept it and then i'm gonna try to use less of it around you then
all right i might write
some of the words down and show you some of the ones in advance that i'm going
to use from now on just
i just don't want there to be not fair communication sure okay all right cool
man i'm spending all this
motherfucking dorm money on oh and why did he have to curse you think right
there riley mal who knows
it's just how how he talks yeah okay you're right you're right onward rally mal
hit us with a news item
brother well in a british wildlife park they have removed five cursing parrots
from public okay and we say cursing parrots what do you mean like parrots that
they're what
casting spells on pub on public i mean that they have foul language oh fowls
have foul language okay
and any other information they're giving you um it just says that the birds
shared the ability to
curse up a storm something they engaged in quite often okay so they're doing it
and where is it happening you said in a british wildlife park yep
yep have you disappointed a woman in your life riley mal oh have i i definitely
have
you heard about it yeah and how do you feel about it now and now that some time
has passed you fell in
love for a pregnant woman pretty much and i had no idea because she wasn't
showing yet so it was it
was very early in the stage and i i literally had no idea that pregnancy the
first three months it can
trick you you it used to be back in the old days riley a woman had a decent
womb in her
you know about it you heard about it yeah definitely were you breech birth riley
i was not
all right man well let's there's different ways to do it let's get into the
episode do you have any
birth defects or anything like that um can't say i have um i mean i'm a
musician like i said
but no when you were born were you missing anything to give any birth defects
um dang dude i'm not sure
i don't think so okay so straight up full birth yeah wow must be nice man have
you ever had any small
animals i have i had a dog when i was little okay that's great you ever done
any injectable drugs riley
mal i mean unless it's for surgery um the uh what do you call it the thing that
makes you go to sleep
for surgery other than that no anesthesia you mean yeah that okay that's the
thing but you never just
you know you and your buddy you know never pulled off the interstate and done
steroids or anything like
that nope unfortunately not do you do cocaine rally i don't all right so what
this man is asking about
is they'll have uh one of those fountains like a fake stone fountain where the
little guy is urinating
into the bird bath you know what i'm talking about rally you ever seen those or
not i've seen them
everywhere you have i have okay and when you see that what do you feel like
what is that
what is that is that cool is that lame what is it i mean i i just don't really
i don't really
have an opinion i just i see it and i just disregard it i i mean i couldn't
care less honestly okay and
there you go that's a young perspective they don't care any parting words you
have rally
no not at all
hi my name is henry i'm in middle school and well i'm pretty good with the bow
staff i train almost
every day and i hear that riley's asian so that's pretty much a given that well
he's in martial arts
so i challenge him to a duel uh gang
riley you got a child right there challenging you could you beat a child in a
contest i'm yeah i'm
pretty sure i can you think you can beat that kid's ass honestly henry um i i
don't know he he might
be faking the faking the voice he might be like a really tough guy i don't know
and how would you
approach it you think well i mean i would tell him you know come over to come
over to the middle east
and we'll uh we'll hash it out okay so there you go you got a real challenge
right there he's saying
bring it over to the central east you mean bring it over to the central east
and we'll hash it out
you know and that's how you right there people want to uh doubt on riley mal he'll
just he just
offered to beat the out of a damn middle schooler
so you know anybody that's been serial killed riley i don't no well live a
little brother i have two
friends who's have uh family members have been victims of serial killers or sks
they call them y'all
do the egg hunts over there for easter yeah um no well are you talking about
church or like just
in general church uh church no okay well could be a good church could not be a
good church i'm not
saying anything about east side man you know they sound like it sound like a
great outfit but it you
know hide an egg you ever send like you guys do a time capsule for christ or
anything like that
through church you guys do a you know send a rocket up to god or anything was
there any fun stuff like
that you did as children um not not for uh religious purposes but i mean i've
done time capsules i've
done rockets um my dad's a rocket engineer oh dang yeah yeah um but you ever
done it for god you guys
ever built something for the lord and just jacked that thing up into the sky no
i can't say i have not for
the lord i've just done it for the lord i've just done it for fun damn damn
damn you live in man i like
talking a lot um other than that um wow yeah i'm i'm a pretty quiet dude other
than that um yeah
football is finally back do you watch football riley now i'm not a big fan okay
great man are you paying
attention riley i am indeed okay just seem like you're not but that's all right
oh no i definitely
am okay thank you brother i do not believe you but i do appreciate that you
know we have a lot of
nice people listen to this podcast riley mouth
all right
um oh i remember this man you know halloween is coming up and i remember that
uh riley i wanted to ask you
what you thought about that do you guys practice that what is some of your
experience with that
um honestly uh i don't have an opinion i don't honestly all right um do you
remember ever being
costumed as a child did anybody dress you up and kind of trick you out at
different areas for sugar
you know what i'm talking about halloween what do you think riley you had any
experience with anything
like that i have not honestly
what else is going on man i'll say this uh i quit using the n-word probably
about four years ago when
everybody else did fully i mean i would never actively you know but people
would you know you
know you look at asians there's and there's also all different what i don't
like is get specific
with the racism these asians you know i've said it i've definitely said it i'll
be honest with you oh
yeah everyone has yeah you have a lot of body hair riley i don't
i would have guessed that man honestly really yeah and i hate to be now is that
racism if i guess that
you know what i'm saying kind of right now i get it um on it kind of yeah you
got your patrick
mahomes is out there this guy i mean who knows what he's doing this dude do
anything he wants
you got who's somebody that's mixed that does well riley um
me who else i'm trying to think of a female there's definitely other people
but here's what i'm saying is that this i think eventually all the rate every
race will be mixed
in two three centuries you're going to have everybody is going to be part
everything
do you know any rally any rate what groups that have racial tension um
japanese and germans there you go i feel like if you were black white uh
malaysian whatever right feeding a bread to a duck is normal right i've seen
literally anybody i could
imagine doing it right exactly amen the man was smoking crack and then made one
of the most
successful pillows of all time you know name another can you name another
pillar riley um
yeah the uh what do you call it um
like yeah you can't think of it because you can't think of it dude and that's
why the uh therapy
therapeutic um no no nope that's a mattress you're talking temple yeah you're
right yep pillow is just
for your head mattresses for your body right what's up big daniel out of
northeast arkansas you ever been
there riley i've not well actually what is northeast arkansas like what cities
man is anything else you want to share with this rally
um
i did see that a man told snake skin isn't a legitimate face covering
there you go
there you go there you go riley now anything else you need to say man
no i think this was a uh this was great i love being here great to be here i
like your attitude
brother i like your attitude man you ever had rib damage riley mount i have not
and i don't want to
there you go folks the hot take from riley mount baby what's a good sound you
think riley mount
i mean good sounds as in like just anything in general like a good sound yeah
um i mean laughter is a good
sound um i don't know rocket flying into space is a good sound and elephant i
like elephants elephants are a good sound
indiana it's uh spanish four
in in indiana indian oh indian i did not know that a lot of comedians will end
up getting into music
riley mount do you know that i do now
deaf signaling you know what is that called you know what i'm talking about riley
hand hand gestures um what's the name of it i think it's deaf signaling covington
that's my hometown
where did you did you know i was from somewhere ri