Name: Theo Von and Morgan Wallen Trade Old Stories
Uploaded: 2020-12-01T22:07:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von and Morgan Wallen Trade Old Stories' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-12-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von and Morgan Wallen Trade Old Stories' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-12-01. Transcript available.

We got a question right here from a fellow that sent this in right here.
Obviously a Joe Burrow fan, R.I.P.
Hey, D.R. Morgan, this is Phlegm from Washington, D.C.
Yes, Phlegm, like the shit in your throat.
Damn, brother.
By way of Alabama.
And this is a question for both of you guys.
I just wanted to know, when you guys were up and coming and making your way,
whether it's in stand-up or in country music,
did you ever book a gig or show up to a venue
and there was only like two or three people there?
And since you had already booked and weren't being paid,
you just had to power through and how awkward was that for you?
Thanks.
Gang, gang.
Gang, bro.
That's a good question, man.
Yeah, Phlegm.
That's a...
In honor of him?
In honor of Burrow's leg?
Clear my throat right there.
I don't know if I can get a boy.
Good question.
I did.
Did you?
Yeah, bro.
I did a few of those.
Yeah, dude.
Just one?
I wish there was only one.
I know.
Probably my most notable one was like,
I don't even know if I'd gotten a record deal yet.
It was right when I first moved to Nashville.
And my booking agent was like,
because I had a band, you know.
And he was like,
well, I'm going to send you out on the road
and play some cover band shows
and just make sure,
just get you guys in your band just a little tighter
and, you know,
make sure you guys are good.
Right.
Excuse me.
All right, cool, whatever.
What was the band's name?
Oh, it was just me.
Oh, still?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You and your band?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, got it.
Go.
Sorry.
But we were singing like,
we were playing like a long,
long sets,
you know,
like a couple,
three hours,
like a long time.
You're doing weddings.
Yeah, basically.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Except I think weddings paid a lot better than this.
And, you know,
there would have probably been some hot girls
at the wedding.
This was not that.
A lot of thick stepdads at this deal, huh?
Yeah, just got off the public golf course.
A lot of rosy-cheeked old men, huh?
Yeah.
A lot of Santa's little helpers out there.
And probably this one, man.
I was in Greenville, North Carolina.
It was the first one we had done, man.
And I,
so what they told us was
we were going to go to Greenville, North Carolina.
That's where East Carolina University's at.
Okay, cool.
You know, it was like a Friday or something.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
There'd be a lot of college.
Yeah, the Pirates.
Yeah, there'd be some,
there'd be a lot of college kids out here.
You know, hell yeah.
This would be great.
And we get there,
and like the first thing the dude says to us,
he's like,
yeah, by the way, guys,
it's rush week or something.
None of the fratts or sororities
are allowed to go out this week.
Oh, that's bad, bro.
I'm like, okay.
It's great.
That's bad immediately.
You know,
maybe there's some people
that stuck around this town
that are a little younger.
Maybe there's some people
that dropped out of school
that are still milling.
They didn't make to the frat,
you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We'd go up there,
and as soon as he starts saying that,
I start pounding PBRs.
Yeah.
Just in the middle of the day,
I'm like,
oh, this is going to be.
Oh, yeah, bro.
This is going to be bad.
That's the North Carolina state bird,
the PBR dog.
Amen.
Caw-caw.
I don't know.
But, man,
we get out there,
and I'm pretty lit, dude.
And, like, honestly,
we have not had a chance
to practice that much.
And there's a bunch,
there's a bunch of songs
on this list, you know?
So, I'm damn near making up words
with these songs,
lit,
singing,
and there's, like,
four people,
you know,
one person kind of dancing
a little bit.
By himself.
That's the worst, bro.
Yeah.
I couldn't tell you
who was actually there.
But, uh,
I start midway,
like, dude,
I'm, like,
halfway talking shit
to the crowd.
I'm like,
God, you gotta suck.
I'm just not,
not having a good time,
you know,
not feeling it at all,
making, you know,
telling my band
to replay the chorus.
And at the end,
you know,
let's do that.
Let's just keep this song going
because I don't know
the next one.
Yeah, yeah.
And it was, like,
one of those moments
where I knew
I didn't want to do that.
I didn't want to play
cover band shows.
Yeah.
Because it was
extremely difficult
and you just don't ever know
what you're going to get.
So, I think that moment,
I'm pretty sure
one of my buddies
that I brought with me,
like, told the guy
his bar sucked
and, like,
he got kicked out
of the bar.
You know,
one of the five people there
was my buddy
and he got kicked out
because he was being an idiot.
And it just,
but it was one of those moments
where I was like,
well, I need to get it together.
We really need to,
I want to make something of this.
I really, really love singing.
I really don't like
singing other people's music
the whole time.
I'd really like to sing my own.
Yeah.
So, let's hone in
and really work on this.
And that was like,
that was the worst one we ever,
the first one was the worst one.
Amen.
And we kept getting better.
Damn.
And you're still with
some of the same guys today?
Yeah.
Everybody in that band
is still my band
except for one of my guitar players
and it was not any bad blood
or anything.
He just got married
and wanted to stay at home.
Oh, yeah.
I heard about that.
I remember you talked about that
in a different interview.
Yeah.
Man, that's wild, dude.
I remember,
let me think.
I remember
one time
they brought me out.
It was a,
this was actually a Greek event.
This was in,
this was like
University of North Florida
or something.
So, they bring me out there.
Where's that at?
I don't know.
It's one of those schools
you're like,
I don't know
if this really is school.
There's like 18 schools
in Florida
and that ain't,
that's,
yeah, yeah.
They cut it off.
That's number 19.
There's like four gyms
on campus.
You're like,
this shit is a little weird.
This shit ain't,
this ain't checking out.
So, they're like,
okay, we need you to go out there,
start the show off.
It's gonna be great, right?
I go out there,
but these kids
do not give a fuck about me.
All they care about
is seeing their friends
who are performing
because each one
of the Greek groups
had like,
they're doing something.
They're doing like a,
you know,
they're playing a song
or doing a skit.
Okay.
Like a talent show.
Yeah, talent show.
So, I go out there
and I guess they didn't
consider me talent.
So, I go out there,
but they're booing.
And so, I'm just ripping
through my material
because it's all I have
is my only weapon.
Yeah.
My only weapon is
just these words
that I have, you know.
And I only have about
15 minutes of material.
So, I burn through that
in about seven minutes.
Oh, yeah.
You know.
Yeah, because part of your thing
is like pausing and...
Yeah, yeah.
Totally, totally.
None of that.
Well, every time I pause,
I can feel how much more
they hate me, you know.
So, I'm like,
damn, these pauses
are pretty painful.
Oh, I guarantee it.
So, I get through that.
I bring out the group
who's coming out next
and I get backstage
and they're like,
that was good.
And they're like,
you're back up
in three minutes
or something, right?
And I had to go out
seven more times
out on that stage.
You had no more material.
For 15 minutes each?
No, no, no.
For like three minutes each
after that.
So, you're like
the host kind of.
Yeah, man.
Ooh, it got so bad, bro.
Like the third time.
Dude, the third time
I picked up an American flag
that was backstage
and just walked out with it, bro.
Just that was it?
Somebody sing
the national anthem out here.
Yeah, totally.
Like I was surrendering, bro.
Like I just was giving up.
Spray paint that thing white.
Yeah, it was bad.
Just going over the red.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dude, it was bad, man.
But by the end,
it was almost funny
that I kept coming out.
They're like,
no way he's coming back.
out and I'd be like,
I'm back.
How long ago was that?
Man, that was probably
10 years ago.
But the one that
hurt my feelings most,
I had a special
that came out on Netflix
probably a few years back,
about five years ago.
And I thought,
man, this is it.
I made it.
I've watched it.
Oh, thanks, man.
I appreciate that.
So, I get out there.
I go to Chattanooga.
It was in Chattanooga.
I'm performing.
And I'm excited.
I get there.
I'm thinking,
it's going to be hype, dude.
Finally, people are coming.
I've been doing this
for, you know,
nine years,
10 years.
Finally, people are going
to come out.
And I got there, bro,
and there's like
seven people there.
It didn't do anything, dude.
And there was just
one like,
and one girl came, bro.
And that's always,
bro,
it hurts you because
it makes you think like,
dang, dude,
I wish it wasn't her
who came.
But also,
we'll see how it goes,
you know.
This is only one girl.
And bro,
she was,
she was a tough girl,
boy.
She had all the shoulders,
bro.
She was just a strong lady,
you know.
Yeah, you met her?
No, I've met a few,
yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean,
I love linebackers too,
you know.
Yeah, no,
she was just,
and I think I did
actually end up
making out with her,
honestly.
Yeah, you know,
that's where I was at.
Jay, she came,
you gotta,
you appreciate her,
you know.
Oh, dude,
and she's a great girl.
She's a very sweet gal.
And I actually ended up,
years later,
she came up to me
and said,
do you remember me?
And I said,
I don't think so,
you know.
She said,
I came to your show
in Chattanooga.
And I was like,
man,
and I was actually
pretty grateful she'd come
because she was
one ninth of the audience,
you know.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I'm here.
Yeah, she was at least
a knight, you know.
But it was,
yeah, that was a tough one, man.
So you were having this,
that was when they filmed
the Netflix thing?
That's when it,
no, that's when it came out.
Oh, got you.
So I thought that it changed things.
Well, I'm on Netflix.
Yeah, I made it.
Yeah.
And damn,
it didn't do anything.
Isn't,
I mean,
that's an interesting thing,
you know,
you get,
or like,
for me,
it'd be like Spotify
or something,
you know,
like,
all right,
I got on Hot Country,
surely.
now I've made it.
People are going to care now.
Yeah.
Just because the editor
really cares about me
means everyone in the world
is going to care,
you know.
Yeah.
It's not always how it goes,
you know.
and it's interesting to think
they just got to care about you
not because Netflix does
or because HBO does
or, you know,
those people are just taking risk.
It's not like
they're not God
telling these people
to watch,
you know.
Right.
Sometimes we give them that power.
I think I always did,
especially when I was coming up,
I gave the media that power.
Well,
I think the media probably
had a little bit more power
when you were coming up,
you know,
because they didn't,
or even maybe
a little further than that
because that was a lot of people's
only way of getting to see you.
Right.
There wasn't as much social media.
There wasn't as much YouTube.
It was like,
Yeah,
they were really the gatekeepers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah,
and now it's like
somebody offered you a TV show.
I've turned down television shows
left and right.
It's just like I wouldn't,
I would just have more success
because I found success eventually
by just starting my own thing.
Yeah.
You know,
and going and doing things
like Joe Rogan,
like guys like that,
like saying come on the podcast
and then that's what changed
me,
at least people being able
to at least see me for me,
you know,
but like you're saying,
It's more of a natural thing.
They gravitate towards you.
They do.
It's something about,
like they can push it as many times,
you can push the spins
as many times as they want,
but if there's not something,
I think that they,
if there's not something deeper in there,
then it's not going to stick.
It won't, man.
And it's interesting.
And like for,
I mean,
I don't know what it,
I don't,
it's hard to put that into words too.
It's like,
I don't know what it is
that people like about me
or what it is
that people like about you,
but clearly there's something
I think it's just being real,
dude.
I really do.
A lot of people just think
they have to be a certain way
or do a certain thing.
Like,
oh,
I'm a country music singer.
I got to,
huh,
you know.
I better buy a Conestoga wagon,
you know.
I need a couple,
I need a cowboy hat now.
You know,
it's like,
it's not,
I don't know.
I think they just really know,
they can,
everybody has a really good way
of sensing out someone
who's not,
who's not being genuine.
Yeah.
Yeah,
I think authenticity
is definitely becoming
more and more of a commodity
than it used to be.
But you also have to be cool.
You have to be cool.
Your authentic self
needs to be cool,
you know,
like if you're,
if you're not,
then I guess you're just
out of luck.
You know,
like if you're just
not a cool person,
then.
Yeah,
you're like,
damn,
Larry's authentic as fuck.
And he is lame.
But he's lame as hell,
dude.
Exactly.
So it's kind of like,
if you don't,
if you don't have both,
yeah,
you got to have a certain
amount of authenticity.
Good evening.
Good afternoon.
And other times.
Thanks for watching
that video you just saw.
I mean,
it was okay.
But the next video
you could watch
could be way better.
What if you watch a video
right now that changes
your life?
Well,
you could watch this one
or watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Ah.

Theo Von and Morgan Wallen Trade Old Stories

We got a question right here from a fellow that sent this in right here.
Obviously a Joe Burrow fan, R.I.P.
Hey, D.R. Morgan, this is Phlegm from Washington, D.C.
Yes, Phlegm, like the shit in your throat.
Damn, brother.
By way of Alabama.
And this is a question for both of you guys.
I just wanted to know, when you guys were up and coming and making your way,
whether it's in stand-up or in country music,
did you ever book a gig or show up to a venue
and there was only like two or three people there?
And since you had already booked and weren't being paid,
you just had to power through and how awkward was that for you?
Thanks.
Gang, gang.
Gang, bro.
That's a good question, man.
Yeah, Phlegm.
That's a...
In honor of him?
In honor of Burrow's leg?
Clear my throat right there.
I don't know if I can get a boy.
Good question.
I did.
Did you?
Yeah, bro.
I did a few of those.
Yeah, dude.
Just one?
I wish there was only one.
I know.
Probably my most notable one was like,
I don't even know if I'd gotten a record deal yet.
It was right when I first moved to Nashville.
And my booking agent was like,
because I had a band, you know.
And he was like,
well, I'm going to send you out on the road
and play some cover band shows
and just make sure,
just get you guys in your band just a little tighter
and, you know,
make sure you guys are good.
Right.
Excuse me.
All right, cool, whatever.
What was the band's name?
Oh, it was just me.
Oh, still?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You and your band?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, got it.
Go.
Sorry.
But we were singing like,
we were playing like a long,
long sets,
you know,
like a couple,
three hours,
like a long time.
You're doing weddings.
Yeah, basically.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Except I think weddings paid a lot better than this.
And, you know,
there would have probably been some hot girls
at the wedding.
This was not that.
A lot of thick stepdads at this deal, huh?
Yeah, just got off the public golf course.
A lot of rosy-cheeked old men, huh?
Yeah.
A lot of Santa's little helpers out there.
And probably this one, man.
I was in Greenville, North Carolina.
It was the first one we had done, man.
And I,
so what they told us was
we were going to go to Greenville, North Carolina.
That's where East Carolina University's at.
Okay, cool.
You know, it was like a Friday or something.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
There'd be a lot of college.
Yeah, the Pirates.
Yeah, there'd be some,
there'd be a lot of college kids out here.
You know, hell yeah.
This would be great.
And we get there,
and like the first thing the dude says to us,
he's like,
yeah, by the way, guys,
it's rush week or something.
None of the fratts or sororities
are allowed to go out this week.
Oh, that's bad, bro.
I'm like, okay.
It's great.
That's bad immediately.
You know,
maybe there's some people
that stuck around this town
that are a little younger.
Maybe there's some people
that dropped out of school
that are still milling.
They didn't make to the frat,
you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We'd go up there,
and as soon as he starts saying that,
I start pounding PBRs.
Yeah.
Just in the middle of the day,
I'm like,
oh, this is going to be.
Oh, yeah, bro.
This is going to be bad.
That's the North Carolina state bird,
the PBR dog.
Amen.
Caw-caw.
I don't know.
But, man,
we get out there,
and I'm pretty lit, dude.
And, like, honestly,
we have not had a chance
to practice that much.
And there's a bunch,
there's a bunch of songs
on this list, you know?
So, I'm damn near making up words
with these songs,
lit,
singing,
and there's, like,
four people,
you know,
one person kind of dancing
a little bit.
By himself.
That's the worst, bro.
Yeah.
I couldn't tell you
who was actually there.
But, uh,
I start midway,
like, dude,
I'm, like,
halfway talking shit
to the crowd.
I'm like,
God, you gotta suck.
I'm just not,
not having a good time,
you know,
not feeling it at all,
making, you know,
telling my band
to replay the chorus.
And at the end,
you know,
let's do that.
Let's just keep this song going
because I don't know
the next one.
Yeah, yeah.
And it was, like,
one of those moments
where I knew
I didn't want to do that.
I didn't want to play
cover band shows.
Yeah.
Because it was
extremely difficult
and you just don't ever know
what you're going to get.
So, I think that moment,
I'm pretty sure
one of my buddies
that I brought with me,
like, told the guy
his bar sucked
and, like,
he got kicked out
of the bar.
You know,
one of the five people there
was my buddy
and he got kicked out
because he was being an idiot.
And it just,
but it was one of those moments
where I was like,
well, I need to get it together.
We really need to,
I want to make something of this.
I really, really love singing.
I really don't like
singing other people's music
the whole time.
I'd really like to sing my own.
Yeah.
So, let's hone in
and really work on this.
And that was like,
that was the worst one we ever,
the first one was the worst one.
Amen.
And we kept getting better.
Damn.
And you're still with
some of the same guys today?
Yeah.
Everybody in that band
is still my band
except for one of my guitar players
and it was not any bad blood
or anything.
He just got married
and wanted to stay at home.
Oh, yeah.
I heard about that.
I remember you talked about that
in a different interview.
Yeah.
Man, that's wild, dude.
I remember,
let me think.
I remember
one time
they brought me out.
It was a,
this was actually a Greek event.
This was in,
this was like
University of North Florida
or something.
So, they bring me out there.
Where's that at?
I don't know.
It's one of those schools
you're like,
I don't know
if this really is school.
There's like 18 schools
in Florida
and that ain't,
that's,
yeah, yeah.
They cut it off.
That's number 19.
There's like four gyms
on campus.
You're like,
this shit is a little weird.
This shit ain't,
this ain't checking out.
So, they're like,
okay, we need you to go out there,
start the show off.
It's gonna be great, right?
I go out there,
but these kids
do not give a fuck about me.
All they care about
is seeing their friends
who are performing
because each one
of the Greek groups
had like,
they're doing something.
They're doing like a,
you know,
they're playing a song
or doing a skit.
Okay.
Like a talent show.
Yeah, talent show.
So, I go out there
and I guess they didn't
consider me talent.
So, I go out there,
but they're booing.
And so, I'm just ripping
through my material
because it's all I have
is my only weapon.
Yeah.
My only weapon is
just these words
that I have, you know.
And I only have about
15 minutes of material.
So, I burn through that
in about seven minutes.
Oh, yeah.
You know.
Yeah, because part of your thing
is like pausing and...
Yeah, yeah.
Totally, totally.
None of that.
Well, every time I pause,
I can feel how much more
they hate me, you know.
So, I'm like,
damn, these pauses
are pretty painful.
Oh, I guarantee it.
So, I get through that.
I bring out the group
who's coming out next
and I get backstage
and they're like,
that was good.
And they're like,
you're back up
in three minutes
or something, right?
And I had to go out
seven more times
out on that stage.
You had no more material.
For 15 minutes each?
No, no, no.
For like three minutes each
after that.
So, you're like
the host kind of.
Yeah, man.
Ooh, it got so bad, bro.
Like the third time.
Dude, the third time
I picked up an American flag
that was backstage
and just walked out with it, bro.
Just that was it?
Somebody sing
the national anthem out here.
Yeah, totally.
Like I was surrendering, bro.
Like I just was giving up.
Spray paint that thing white.
Yeah, it was bad.
Just going over the red.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dude, it was bad, man.
But by the end,
it was almost funny
that I kept coming out.
They're like,
no way he's coming back.
out and I'd be like,
I'm back.
How long ago was that?
Man, that was probably
10 years ago.
But the one that
hurt my feelings most,
I had a special
that came out on Netflix
probably a few years back,
about five years ago.
And I thought,
man, this is it.
I made it.
I've watched it.
Oh, thanks, man.
I appreciate that.
So, I get out there.
I go to Chattanooga.
It was in Chattanooga.
I'm performing.
And I'm excited.
I get there.
I'm thinking,
it's going to be hype, dude.
Finally, people are coming.
I've been doing this
for, you know,
nine years,
10 years.
Finally, people are going
to come out.
And I got there, bro,
and there's like
seven people there.
It didn't do anything, dude.
And there was just
one like,
and one girl came, bro.
And that's always,
bro,
it hurts you because
it makes you think like,
dang, dude,
I wish it wasn't her
who came.
But also,
we'll see how it goes,
you know.
This is only one girl.
And bro,
she was,
she was a tough girl,
boy.
She had all the shoulders,
bro.
She was just a strong lady,
you know.
Yeah, you met her?
No, I've met a few,
yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean,
I love linebackers too,
you know.
Yeah, no,
she was just,
and I think I did
actually end up
making out with her,
honestly.
Yeah, you know,
that's where I was at.
Jay, she came,
you gotta,
you appreciate her,
you know.
Oh, dude,
and she's a great girl.
She's a very sweet gal.
And I actually ended up,
years later,
she came up to me
and said,
do you remember me?
And I said,
I don't think so,
you know.
She said,
I came to your show
in Chattanooga.
And I was like,
man,
and I was actually
pretty grateful she'd come
because she was
one ninth of the audience,
you know.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I'm here.
Yeah, she was at least
a knight, you know.
But it was,
yeah, that was a tough one, man.
So you were having this,
that was when they filmed
the Netflix thing?
That's when it,
no, that's when it came out.
Oh, got you.
So I thought that it changed things.
Well, I'm on Netflix.
Yeah, I made it.
Yeah.
And damn,
it didn't do anything.
Isn't,
I mean,
that's an interesting thing,
you know,
you get,
or like,
for me,
it'd be like Spotify
or something,
you know,
like,
all right,
I got on Hot Country,
surely.
now I've made it.
People are going to care now.
Yeah.
Just because the editor
really cares about me
means everyone in the world
is going to care,
you know.
Yeah.
It's not always how it goes,
you know.
and it's interesting to think
they just got to care about you
not because Netflix does
or because HBO does
or, you know,
those people are just taking risk.
It's not like
they're not God
telling these people
to watch,
you know.
Right.
Sometimes we give them that power.
I think I always did,
especially when I was coming up,
I gave the media that power.
Well,
I think the media probably
had a little bit more power
when you were coming up,
you know,
because they didn't,
or even maybe
a little further than that
because that was a lot of people's
only way of getting to see you.
Right.
There wasn't as much social media.
There wasn't as much YouTube.
It was like,
Yeah,
they were really the gatekeepers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah,
and now it's like
somebody offered you a TV show.
I've turned down television shows
left and right.
It's just like I wouldn't,
I would just have more success
because I found success eventually
by just starting my own thing.
Yeah.
You know,
and going and doing things
like Joe Rogan,
like guys like that,
like saying come on the podcast
and then that's what changed
me,
at least people being able
to at least see me for me,
you know,
but like you're saying,
It's more of a natural thing.
They gravitate towards you.
They do.
It's something about,
like they can push it as many times,
you can push the spins
as many times as they want,
but if there's not something,
I think that they,
if there's not something deeper in there,
then it's not going to stick.
It won't, man.
And it's interesting.
And like for,
I mean,
I don't know what it,
I don't,
it's hard to put that into words too.
It's like,
I don't know what it is
that people like about me
or what it is
that people like about you,
but clearly there's something
I think it's just being real,
dude.
I really do.
A lot of people just think
they have to be a certain way
or do a c