Name: Michael Bisping Was A Professional DJ
Uploaded: 2020-12-07T19:09:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Michael Bisping Was A Professional DJ' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-12-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Michael Bisping Was A Professional DJ' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-12-07. Transcript available.

my questions for mike when you were dj what kind of events did you do and what
were those bangers
that you dropped bro thanks for taking my question i appreciate it were you a
disc jockey i was yeah
i was a professional dj for about 15 years yeah really yeah like like a nightclub
dj yeah like
did you also do like weddings and dances nah nothing like come on i swear to
god no so so i
was obsessed with martial arts and then i went i was walking home from one of
the uh you're a wild
dude i was walking home from one of the shitty dead end jobs that i had yeah
and i went popped
into my friend's house and he had a set of turntables and records and stuff and
we went to dance music
and i just thought that was the coolest stuff shit i've ever seen in my life
and like what kind of
music was it was you know house music yeah house music techno stuff like that
and uh we were all
heavy heavy into it up there you know and uh yeah i bought a set of decks and i
just i'm kind of all
or nothing i'm very obsessive i'm doing something i just submerge myself into
that and uh that's what
i did and i i gave up martial arts and i wanted to be a dj yeah and you know i
was i was doing all
right you know dj mikey b that was my name but uh now what were some like now
would you play a
couple of tracks to kind of get people to like you know i don't know i don't
know but uh but if you
saw a little bit of love going on in the distance would you drop on a certain
track no the place
where i dj bro they they were hardcore like rave spots you know what i mean so
did you have
mosh pinning and stuff did you ever see that mosh pitch just people dancing
their fucking asses
you know what i mean but uh so i was doing that for a long time and then i kind
of came to the
realization that i'm not going to make it big time i'm not going to be one of
these guys getting 20
30 000 for a set you know what i mean yeah i was doing i was just about making
enough money to live
but it was fun fortunately when i decided i wanted to be a fighter i was able
to train all week and dj at
the weekend and just scrape by enough money to be able to pay the bills and and
not get the house
repossessed and all that type of stuff yeah until fighting started making money
you know what i mean
but uh and would you were you fighting like a beat in the beginning i picture
you like
like punching and stuff no no like an eight count nobody knew nobody knew like
that that i was like
this one club i dj that was like it was it was a very well respected dance club
but the place was
it was sketchy man it was like for you guys who like something straight out of
a guy richie movie
because it was an all-nighter so all the doorman would finish work at two but
then they go to
mom rose afterwards to party so it was just full of doorman and gangsters and
drug dealers and all
that kind of the shit that went on that club will make your head spin i've i've
seen guys come in
with samurai swords and attack guys up i i i swear to god oh yeah i was
standing by the front entrance
chatting away that's a korean and everyone just started fucking stampeding out
the club and i'm
like what is going on and then i look and i see a guy with a balaclava and a
samurai sword
just storming out the club like that i'm like holy shit and he just hacked
someone up on the dance
floor did he play his tab though no they let him in through the fire exit with
the samurai sword
yeah and then another time yeah terrible well he probably knew the doorman but
uh another time
because i used to do two sets i do like a set from like two till three yeah and
then another set from
like six till seven a.m so i'd have a few hours in between and we just hang out
do whatever and i went
back to do my second set yeah and uh my records have been stolen back then i
was like they were my pride
and joy right yeah because a lot of the music was hard to get you know very
rare and whatever
and they were they were my babies my records man they've been stolen but as i
say i i used to keep
myself to myself and people didn't know that i was a fighter or whatever do you
know what i mean
right take mikey b's records fucking he's a pussy so he took my records and i
was fuming so i went
outside onto the car park and i was going up to every car i'm like yo open your
trunk open your boot
that's what we call it in england open your boot i want to check and that what
first my records have
been stolen open your fucking boot they'd open it up i'd say okay not there
sorry pal i had to check next
car so i went through a few i went through a few cars and i get to this one car
i said and guy's
sitting there smoking a joint oh he's guilty i'm like he's guilty i said yo
open the door so open the
boot he's like can't do that i said dude listen my records have been stolen all
right i just want to
check your boot open the boot he's like i can't do that i said well now you've
got to do it
he goes all right relax he said i'll open my boot he said but when you see what's
in there
you gotta shut the fuck up but i know what it was i said all right was it a
tiger i said all right
whatever open the fucking boot you dickhead body he gets up he opens the boot
there's a
fucking guy in there tied up with the gag on ankles tied was it holy
it he slams it down he goes i haven't got your fucking records bro i'm like
okay i guess you
haven't moving on so if you were that guy in that boot my bad who was that guy
who was that guy i
don't know but i didn't want any part of that i'm like fuck those records
really take him you're
good i never liked him anyway was it pretty awesome man that must have been
awesome huh no it wasn't
but the guy looks scared like they were playing hide and go seek i don't know
how to go see as i say
you know did it look like a sexual thing or they were just like it wasn't as
maybe it was i you
know what i like to think it was a sexual yeah i like to think it was it's okay
that's just how they
got off yeah you know or just be like i threw in an extra dynamic like oh we
got a crazy skinhead
wants his records back this is role playing i've never seen this before it's
like get him in
get in the trunk give it a shot it's good oh shit so yeah wow i never had it i
never had any uh
no no no and that's one of many unfortunately that's why i had to get out of
that life you know oh yeah
it doesn't it you know two years later it's you in the trunk or it's you in the
driver's seat probably
one or the other exactly you know so uh so yeah you know i had to make a better
life for myself yeah
which is again what i did i'm just sitting on your front porch wondering how
could i be so far from my
home
and my mind is somewhere else but when i find it i'll patch up where it's been
blown