Name: Theo Von on Doing Steroids | w/ Tony Mandarich
Uploaded: 2020-12-11T18:51:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von on Doing Steroids | w/ Tony Mandarich' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-12-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von on Doing Steroids | w/ Tony Mandarich' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-12-11. Transcript available.

I get curious as to like I remember I was working at a restaurant they had a
bus boy there that was an older guy and he was doing steroids and it uh and so
we would go to the gym together and next thing you know it was just like
something we did right you know and um and he was older than me this guy so
sometimes I went looking back I wonder would I have done it if it wasn't like
an older person if it had just been a buddy I don't think too much on it but
sometimes I just like to look back at like you know where was like the
influence coming from or was the influence coming from inside of me
like wanting something um different or wanting a different experience you know
wanting to like put anything into myself right to replace something inside of
me that was missing you know yeah which is a story of our lives totally right
which later in life I'm chasing something that's already inside of me yeah but
I'm looking for external answers or external things to fill that void but
really the answer is inside of me right yeah but it doesn't feel like it is
because it feels like there's nothing inside of me once you get sober clear-headed
and kind of can start reflecting
in life as you get older yeah that's when at least for me at my experiences I
start to see I was like the dog chasing my tail yeah looking for this looking
for that and it's like the whole answer is like with me the whole time yeah it's
just like stop take a look slow down you know breathe and yeah but the catalyst
for the actual steroid taking was I couldn't bench 315 because that's three big
plates on each side oh yeah but I could do 295 for like five reps but I couldn't
do 315 for one so it was like a cycle
psychological block and I got on like some really light steroids and like
within two weeks I was like at three benching like 325 damn so I was like oh
they definitely were well we got on some Vietnamese shit one time I don't even
think it helped me lift it helped me cook it definitely helped me like I could
run away dude I'm not even joking I could cook over a fire suddenly in my yard
but I could not fucking do it because we got some gutter steroids that came
through man like we got like bottom of the barrel was it like top of it taped
yeah it wasn't even sealed and stuff I remember one time we all went to Mexico
on a class trip so we came back literally people would buy steroids and then
put them in shampoo bottles just kind of rinse out a little no and just pour it
in there oh my god so then for like people are just pulling up at this dude's
house and just syringing out of this you know head and shoulders unreal you
know and that's it I mean it got you it got you both of those
not quite pharmaceutical grade holy smokes but yeah we had some of the cleanest
muscles in town right we'll say that well you're willing to go to any lengths
right oh totally man that's the question that it's like I really was yeah and
so was I and I am today too in in certain areas of my life
yeah but it was like I'm gonna do whatever I gotta do to be the best player I
can be within re like within the rules right but steroids were breaking the
rules so those were within the rules of the time no no they were breaking the
rules oh they were yeah they were so and so I there was a day where I had to
make a conscious decision
it's like I'm not gonna kill it I'm not gonna sit here and lie to myself
because I wasn't like hooked on painkillers I wasn't drinking alcoholically or
nothing like that at that time I was like is it worth it hmm and it was and it
I it was yeah I mean looking back at everything and and you know what it was
worth it and the least amount of that worth it is monetary even though it made
millions it helped me make millions of dollars right
the least the greatest worth and value in that are the lessons learned in life
from taking them but at the time you didn't know that though right but I had to
make a conscious decision on will I ever look back and regret and saying like
what could I have been ah you know what I'm saying so I was like I'm gonna go
to any lengths plus and this is not to like I'm not like blaming anybody but
the atmosphere was like you know the end of the 70s it happens this was
1983-84 so who won four championships in the NFL in the 70s Steelers right I
thought it was maybe Packers Steelers that's right remember they won two in a
row or was that with Bradshaw yeah and all those guys and they're like you know
Jerry Olshansky was out there I don't know him but but Webster and uh Steve
course and all these old linemen they were I mean all jacked up right and it
was obvious yeah and I was like in my head and and my brother's
kind of felt the same way was like the only road to the NFL is through steroids
or at least it's a spoke in the wheel yeah and especially I think as a white
guy you got to get you got to get on something you know for what I mean just no
just oh I think no you just got to get if I'm a white guy I'm getting on
steroids you to play anything listen can you imagine if you if someone had a
drug for that yeah oh man how rich they'd be oh yeah
you mean it's bigger well hell we sell them half of our ads
I remember one thing that got me I remember about and I've just we haven't had
anybody in here I don't
think that's ever that has ever done steroids that I knew of so it's like it's
just for me it's
interesting to talk about because we talk about it on the podcast sometimes
over the years and
um so I remember being in class one day and some kid was a new kid in class and
he thought I was going
through the hall the the aisles picking up people's papers or something for the
teacher right and he
thought I was the teacher's husband and I think because I'd been doing stuff I
was suddenly like
stronger right and you know and I just the you know at that time the thought
that somebody
wouldn't what you know I would be married to somebody that knew first of all
that even knew
mathematics as well as this lady did you know like it almost just was
flattering you know like holy
shit you think that's my wife that's pretty old the older women she drove here
you know what I'm
saying like this is a real lady over there um but I just remember that one
moment that's like
I don't know I just felt like people saw me I just felt more confident I felt
stronger my
I just and right right then man those feelings were feelings that I never had I
think good or what oh
right bro they were so good right they were so good and then uh but you also
did the work
you also worked out right oh I was it we worked out all the time and I you know
dieted properly
you know you would get on milk thistle and all these like things you would hear
about to kind of
take care of yourself um but it was definitely like it was interesting how I
went from if you'd
asked me two weeks before would you ever do steroids I'd have said no way but
then suddenly I was over a
line right and for me in a lot of my areas of life that that that became
something sometimes I really
don't want to look at the truth that there's a lot of lines that I've crossed
in my life that
I probably wish I hadn't you know I remember thinking oh I'll never hook up
with a married woman
you know and then cross that line just like right things that like like where
you're saying like
setting kind of boundaries or who you are and things that you do will and won't
do right I had those
things but I always went past them and then would live and still probably live
with a ton of the
shame from a lot of it good evening good afternoon and other times thanks for
watching that video you
just saw I mean it was okay but the next video you could watch could be way
better what if you watch
a video right now that changes your life well you could watch this one or watch
this one watch this one
watch this one
watch this one
ah