Name: Do You JUUL?
Uploaded: 2021-01-01T05:20:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Do You JUUL?' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Do You JUUL?' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-01. Transcript available.

Hey, Theo, name's Caden.
Man, I just gotta get your thoughts on the vaping stuff.
Man, a couple of my buddies have been hitting that Sparky Nasty here for a
while,
and they've been, they done switched over to the Juul, or the vape, whatever.
And, man, I don't know what to think about it, man.
They just keep trying to get me to hit on that thing,
and I don't know about hitting on the toker.
Man, I gotta get your thoughts on it.
Holla back at me. Thank you, brother.
Alright, thank you so much there, Caden.
And, yeah, because Juuling is different.
People do Juuling.
You'll see somebody, they gotta, you know,
Hey, do you Juul?
Oi, oi, oi.
Just gargling vowels, just
You Juul?
Dude, when I was young, Juul was a child person's name.
So, if somebody said, you Juul?
I would be like, no, I'm Theo.
Who is she?
And now, yeah, the kids got everything.
You know, they got tiramisu flavored, watermelon, bro.
Dog, when I was doing it, you had to hit that cigarette, baby.
Like a damn man.
You had to stay in there like a, just a fucking loose piece of forest fire.
Just
You had, you know what I'm saying?
You had to, a smoker had to smoke.
There wasn't no secret.
Hey, you know, this thing also doubles as a hard drive.
You can keep up like, just like 60 JPEGs on here.
Bro!
You Juul, you Juul!
And y'all got all kind of flavor.
They got lasagna.
They got everything, man.
They got regular mint.
They got cement.
They got menthol, peanut butter, bro.
Everything, man.
They got lactate.
Somebody just hitting a damn lactate Juul.
Say their bowels can't handle regular Juul.
Bitch, what?
When I was young, you had to smoke.
And you had to risk getting busted.
That's another thing about a Juul.
I see people Juuling on the plane.
I see people just blowing into their pocket.
Blowing into the dog's mouth.
They got a little rescue dog on there with them.
Little schnauzer in there, you know.
They chimneying that bitch up.
When I was young, you had to smoke.
You had to go hard.
And you had to blow.
Yet I blow it.
There was no hiding that smoke.
That shit was the Industrial Revolution, baby.
I mean, you look like a damn sawmill out there
just hitting Winston's.
And you smelled like it.
Now somebody comes in the house.
They're out there.
They've been hitting that cherry or that paprika.
You know, somebody comes in the house
and they've been hitting the ricotta.
They just did 40 grams of ricotta cheese Juul outside.
It's just different, man.
It's just different, man.
This shit is weak now.
So I say put it down, baby.
Put it down and pick up a real cigarette.
Pick up that real killer, bruh.
You know what I'm saying?
Have some honor.
Get Japanese with it.
Pick up a real cigarette and hit that bastard.
Because you're out here hitting these fake...
Dude, it can store up to like 30 JPEGs in it.
Yeah, man.
And it's peach cobbler flavored.
Bitch, I don't care.
Get that old dog.
I remember hitting a Marlboro Red, bruh.
Made one of my eyes closed for a month.
I remember that shit was for real.
And you had to come back to the table.
Smell you.
You had to hide the smell.
You're over there rubbing gum all over you in the garage.
Trying to...
You spraying double D40 on your buddy.
Trying to get the smoke off of him.
Everybody, you come back to the Thanksgiving table.
Smell like a damn oil change.
But you had to go through something.
Now you got people sucking out here.
Sucking on a damn USB port.
Dude, my buddy's in the...
Jewel, he's a professional.
Yeah, he's in the semis in Reno this weekend.
Put it down.
Y'all ain't doing shit, bruh.
Pick up a regular cigarette, dude.
Smoke them for 20, 30 years.
Watch your skin give in a little.
And then go see the Lord.
Have some respect for yourselves.
So that's what I think of Jewel, man.
Sorry to go off on that,
but I had to let you know, man.
I'm just sitting on your front porch
wondering how could I be so far from my home.
And my mind is somewhere else,
but when I find it,
I'll patch up where it's been blown.