Name: Are You Ready To Accept Aliens?
Uploaded: 2021-01-05T21:02:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Ready To Accept Aliens?' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Ready To Accept Aliens?' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-05. Transcript available.

Hey Theo. This is Ryan. I want to get your thoughts on what it means that, you
know, that UFOs are definitely real now and like whether that kind of, I don't
know, sexist as human beings makes you think about, you know, time travel and
stuff like that.
Just in general, does it impact your daily thinking that you can, you know,
look up at the sky and say, watch out there. All right, buddy. Thanks a lot.
Gang, gang.
Thank you for the call, Ryan. You know, recently they had a thing, an article
and it said, uh, Israeli space security chief says extraterrestrials exist and
Trump knows about it.
He said, a galactic federation has been waiting for humans to reach a stage
where we will understand what space and spaceships are.
Haim Eshed has said this, um, said the aliens were equally curious about
humanity and we're seeking to understand the fabric of the universe.
Uh, and he said that they have been waiting until today for humanity to develop
and reach a stage where we will all understand in general what space and spaceships
are.
They also added that president Donald Trump was aware of the extraterrestrials
existence and had been on the verge of revealing information, but was asked not
to in order to prevent mass hysteria.
According also to the report, uh, Hayim's, uh, the former head of Israeli's
defense ministry space directorate told an Israeli newspaper that earthlings
have been in contact with a galactic federation and that there's an underground
base in the depths of Mars where there are American astronauts and alien
representatives.
Uh, look, you know, to answer your question, why you said that we know now that
they're real, we, I don't know.
I don't know if I believe any news that comes out anymore.
It's all subject to what you believe.
So I think the news used to be, you know, there was a level of what we thought
was reality of it to it.
And I don't know if that's the case anymore.
I really don't.
Um, so do I know if this article is legit?
I have no idea.
You think that there's like a board meeting?
It makes it sound like there's a meeting every year and the aliens decide if we're
ready to see the aliens.
I don't know.
That's like, they're like, well, how's this year been?
And you're like, well, um, you know, uh, well, we, you know, we're arriving at
the PS5 right now and there is, we have picture frames that can change the
picture, you know, and they're solar powered.
So we're, you know, we're still struggling to recycle, but, uh, that's where we're
at.
And then it's like rejected.
And then the next year they're like, are you, how, all right, guys, how's
things this year?
You ready to accept aliens?
And they're like, well, we're having like a lot of widespread racial disputes
and, um, but we do, you know, there is a new popular like bidet attachment that
people are buying for their toilets.
They don't have to wipe their butt.
It's like, uh, rejected.
Dude, we're not, it reminds me of that scene in, um, Shawshank Redemption where
he keeps going every year to try to get denied, denied, denied, denied.
And then finally, Brooks was here, baby.
I'm gonna kill myself, bought a grocery.
Praise God, baby.
Um, so yeah, that just seems weird that there's a meeting every year.
And that there's like discussion.
I just can't until people are ready.
We will never be ready.
People are beating the shit out of each other for PS fives.
At, and the malls aren't even open.
Think about that.
There are shooting.
I'm sure there's a shooting right now.
If you put your ear up to a bowl of dirty water, you can hear a shooting in
Flint, Michigan right now.
Probably for a pair of children's, I'll roll our skates.
We are not ready for aliens.
Now, some positives, I think, is it would give us all somebody to battle
against.
Because I'll tell you straight up, bro.
Some alien shows up over there in Memphis or something.
Some brother's gonna pop him off, bro.
Real talk.
Or if he shows up out there in Oregon, a couple of white dudes gonna sneak over
and abduct his ass, you know.
Make a chili out of him.
So, I don't know.
I mean, the whole, the alien thing always, to me, do I think that we're the
only people here?
Like, the only beings?
I don't know.
And people say, well, it's selfish to think that.
Well, I don't think it.
I don't know.
I think we're in the very kinder years of learning about all of that kind of
stuff.
The simple fact that we're still operating on fuels like, you know, gasoline
and whatever else they're using.
Octane.
I think in the future, people will be able to fucking travel on a good idea,
you know.
You'll have a couple good ideas and that'll fill up your idea cube.
And then you'll be able to use the lightning created from that to migrate to
different areas.
I think, you know, we're just on this, we're on this very novice plane right
now.
So, yeah, I think it's gonna be interesting down the line.
Now, I do think this about aliens.
I think it's wild that aliens always trying to get in everybody's booty and
body.
Everybody that gets abducted by aliens, they trying to fuck them, bro.
I mean, who are they?
You know what I'm saying?
Are aliens just a bunch of, like, just dudes?
Like, a bunch of drunk dudes in Vegas or something?
Because every time they pick somebody up, the first thing they tell people is
they try to touch, you know.
You know, touch inside their booties.
And that makes me sad, bro, but.
But that's aliens, man.
I'm just sitting on your front porch, wondering how could I be so far from my
home.
And my mind is somewhere else, but when I find it, I'll patch up where it's
been blown.