Name: That Time Joey Diaz Sold Josh Wolf
Uploaded: 2021-02-23T19:03:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'That Time Joey Diaz Sold Josh Wolf' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'That Time Joey Diaz Sold Josh Wolf' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-23. Transcript available.

oh look at this legend yeah oh my god look at that yep my brother took that
picture hold on
look at his slinging dick days oh yeah dude a hundred percent oh my god
now all his stories that make so much more sense when you see this guy yeah
dude because then now
you see him as this more agile fucking let's do it all you know yo so when i
met him he was 225
pounds he would go on stage in a three-piece suit um and he paced like crazy
really he paced like
and he did this with his hand all the time so he made the people in the front
row kind of
uncomfortable because he was an intimidating dude you know what i mean hey josh
deal it's brad from
vancouver canada hey brad josh question for you what is the uh the craziest
story you have about
living with joey diaz gang gang gang brother all right i got a couple questions
first of all did
he need to be shirtless for the question or i think it's makes him feel look i
can't i can't make it
through a a good television program i can't make through an episode of the wire
without taking my
shirt off well yeah but that's personal you know i mean that's something where
you're like i feel like
i need to breathe well i just need yeah yeah yeah i do like the fact that he
might have squeezed his
nipple a little bit right towards the end so i like this dude it's a nervous
habit baby and here i
will tell you uh my favorite joe diaz stories come from you know he used to
babysit my kids right
and um did you guys ever do the road together yeah man he sold me once for a
bag of weed did he really
for sex or what yo so pre-phones we might have had pagers me him and a guy
named lenny schmidt
and lenny was living in seattle at the time but he's out of chicago black guy
nope uh irish dude
bring up lenny schmidt uh i just want to know visually who we're even thinking
about
um i don't want to be thinking and be wrong that yeah that's there you go there
you go oh he was in
joe dirt oh lenny huh yeah wow there you go lenny schmidt so me joe diaz lenny
schmidt we drive
down to roseburg washington we do a one-nighter um and uh we're out of the bar
afterwards and we're
sitting um as joe diaz called her he was like we're gonna bring that girl who
looks like me with a
wig i'm like yeah we're gonna she wanted to come i was like yeah we'll bring
her she was driving too
you know so we go to this bar i go to the bathroom i come back joey and lenny
are gone
and i'm sitting there for a second and we're talking me and the girl for a
little while
and then finally i'm like where where joe and lenny and she said oh joey sold
you for a bag of
weed and i was like what i thought it was a joke and she because he said where
can i get some weed
i don't have a lot of money and she said i can get you a bag of weed but you
gotta leave your friend
damn while you're in the while you're in the john and he said deal so i come
out and i'm like
well property now yeah i was like well i don't know how that's gonna work this
is jim crow era yeah
yeah i was like i was like well i don't know if i'm down with that you know
because she really look
she was not my that was not my style yeah she was not and by the way i'm not i
always dated bigger
girls so big what isn't an issue for me like i i always said like i like a girl
with a with a big
ass i like to see the wave you know what i mean i i i have a big mouth so i
like my girls to be a
little bigger just in case there's a fight you know what i mean yeah and beth
is the first girl that i
ever dated that was i like i'm a little bigger so this girl being big wasn't a
problem just the
entire situation you weren't attracted to her yeah yeah yeah she goes i go let
me drive me back to
that hotel she goes oh okay was she nice was she cool yeah until we got back to
her place oh yeah
now why'd you go to her place i thought you said hotel okay i go yeah take me
back to the hotel she
goes cool and i don't know anything about this place she goes hey i just need
to swing past my
place real quick oh yeah to get some more weed for you guys and then i'll just
drive to the hotel and
i'm like perfect more weed how much you guys gonna smoke well i guess you got
joey with you i figured
joey it's gone by the time i get to the hotel do you know what i mean let's
smoke a motive baby
dude i showed up at that house and we park she goes into a room to get weed she
comes out in this
crazy lingerie dancing like the guy from silence of the lamp oh yeah you know
what i mean yeah but
like but like let me give you an idea the the body type like the belly was
bigger than the boobs oh
yeah you know and no booty and so and and that's that tampa dude that's that
tampa yeah that's that
delray beach yeah mom dude but yeah but i'm gonna go even worse short curly
hair oh yeah yeah you know
what i mean the whole package was not yeah but she's dancing in this lingerie
and i'm like hey i
gotta yeah yeah i gotta and she goes let me try some melzana she and i was like
no no no she goes
back in and i'm looking for yellow pages because i'm like i'm gonna call a cab
yeah you know she
comes out with another one she's running her finger over my cheek at this point
it's feeling
kind of rapey yeah because i'm like she's definitely double my weight like i
think i could outrun her but
she's got a car yeah and she's bigger than me yeah and you can't just run off
in the distance
so like this guy there's a buffalo bill dance her roommate comes home with her
boyfriend
he walks in and i stop him at the door i go hey man we don't know each other
but you gotta get me out
of here okay and he was like what i go i told him the situation she comes out
in her third outfit
and he looks at her and looks at the girl's roommate the girl's roommate goes
you mind your own business
and the guy was like i gotta take him home i can't i can't did i can't do this
to him no he
guy coded me and i was like thanks dude he goes yeah i may not have sex tonight
but i'm gonna save you
i was like dude thank you so much we didn't drive dude we didn't talk on the
way to the hotel i just
kind of looked out the window like one tear like it was a traumatizing but he
dropped me off
and he and we just fist bumped didn't say anything i walked to the room i
knocked on the door
i go joe diaz and he was like who is it i go you know what the fuck it is and i
was like you give
me some of that weed he was like now we smoke we smoked all that dog yeah he
sold me for weed
was asleep in my bed ate my food in my room and then was like hey can you drive
i'm tired
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