Name: Take What They Love
Uploaded: 2021-02-25T03:22:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Take What They Love' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Take What They Love' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-25. Transcript available.

- Hey, what's up guys?
Quick question.
Josh probably more towards you.
I got this little, this little swag daddy over here.
- Yeah.
- What's up, Blair?
- You know, he's a stud.
He's probably gonna mount a lot when he gets older.
- Respect.
- But he's the defiant one.
Starting not to listen, and I know when he gets older,
he's probably gonna be a little motherfucker.
So I wanna know, you know, in this new woke age,
you can't hit your kids anymore, spank 'em.
So Josh, what do you, you know,
is there any other ways to discipline 'em?
I know time outs for pussies.
Theo, you know, we come from a different time.
Do you, you know, I'm sure you got spanked when you were a kid.
Do you actually think it worked?
'Cause when I was a kid, I remember, I remember the beatings.
I don't remember why I got the beatings,
so I don't know if I actually learned anything from it.
So, I don't know, if you guys can give any help,
it'd be appreciative.
Thanks guys.
Gang, and uh, yeah man.
Yeah man.
Yeah man.
Man, well here's the deal.
For a child that age, it's hard for them to understand discipline.
And I firmly believe, especially at that age,
all physical does is instill fear.
'Cause you have no understanding at that age.
You know what I mean?
I didn't hit my kids.
Um, but I do think every kid needs to be parented differently.
Like, I have three older brothers.
Three older brothers were all different people.
We all responded in different ways.
All my dad had to do was raise his voice to me and I was like, "Fuck it.
I am good.
Like, I'm ready to do whatever you need.
My brothers weren't that way."
I will tell you this, for me, for my kids, and I think Jacob is a good dude,
man.
He's turned out pretty well.
Yeah, he seemed like a really cool guy.
Man, there are things that they, here's the thing.
You don't negotiate with terrorists.
They're all terrorists.
Yeah.
You don't keep giving chances.
I always told my kids, "Here are the rules.
You're not gonna hear me tell you again and warn you.
I just gave you the, the warning is the rule."
So there's, you have to know, they have to know, "Oh, if this happens, I'm
gonna get in trouble."
Right.
And take everything, phone, Xbox.
You know, these, this generation of kids thinks they're so tough.
Have you seen videos of people getting their Xbox taken?
Or, oh, they try to, I mean, what's that crazy video where that dude tried to
shove the remote
control in his own asshole?
He was so mad at his parents for stealing his, they go crazy, dude.
They're not, I gotta just take the phone, take the Xbox.
They lose their mind.
They don't know what to do.
No, take what they love.
See, Jacob one time defied me because I told him no vapes, man.
I better not ever see you with a vape.
This, you never saw this, Theo?
Uh-uh.
Oh my God.
I can't believe it.
Okay, my mom just canceled my brother's World of Warcraft account, and he is
freaking out.
Do what a kid you've never seen this.
Oh my God.
You're fake, you fool!
Get out of my mouth!
This is fake.
This is fake.
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
Dude!
Wait.
The ending's the best.
I don't think it's fake because I don't think kids are that good actors.
Look how crazy.
I don't know.
Kids are willing to be good actors because they have no idea how ridiculous
stuff looks.
Oh, he's naked now after the sheet?
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Here, come on, grab.
Watch this.
Oh my God.
How primal, huh?
No way.
Now this kid needs his ass.
This is when you beat a kid.
Yeah, man.
But all I'm saying is, for me-
It's just a tantrum.
It's like watching a baby, you know?
But here's the deal, dude.
So my son tried to throw a tantrum at a grocery store once.
My oldest son, Trevor.
I left him.
Yeah.
I go, hey man, we don't do this in public.
And I go, we're leaving.
He was like, I'm not leaving.
I go, cool.
I am.
Yeah.
I got Jacob.
I got my daughter.
We got in the car.
And we drove the fuck home.
What time did he get home?
Oh, no, no, no.
I mean, he was eight.
So I didn't leave him, leave him.
I drove.
Oh, wow.
And then I drove back.
I see.
And they were going crazy.
Like, I came back.
I came back like 20 minutes later.
The other kid's like, you're leaving him?
Yeah.
And I was like, yeah, I'm leaving him.
And I go, no tantrums.
This isn't what we do.
Yeah.
I remember my, my dad left my, my brother for real.
Hope you enjoyed that video and you can watch another and you can watch this
one.
You can watch this one.
Different options, different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option, not this guy, two options.
Watch one, this one or this one.