Name: Theo Von Remembers Going To The Arcade
Uploaded: 2021-03-12T01:40:51.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Remembers Going To The Arcade' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-03-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Remembers Going To The Arcade' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-03-12. Transcript available.

What's up, Theo? This is your boy, Brian, coming at you from St. Petersburg,
Florida.
Oh, Brian, in St. Petersburg, dude, is a good place to get a find a little
buried treasure
and maybe see a damn tattooed tit, bruh.
Oh, yeah.
Come on, onward.
And I was just listening to your Round Italians episode, and you were talking
about going to
BJ's Pizza when you were a kid with your family.
And you asked us if we had any memories growing up of always going to an eatery.
I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, and we'd go to this pizza place called
Papa Pesero's.
Oh, Papa Pesero's, huh?
Let's hear more about this beautiful spot.
And you would think because Chicago is good pizza, but very similar to your BJ's
incident,
the pizza sucked, man.
But I know they had cheap beer, so my parents and my aunts and uncles would go
out on a Friday
night.
We'd all get beer and pizza, and they had a big old arcade, and they'd send us
into the
arcade with some quarters, be playing Mortal Kombat and all the games.
And the one memory I had to stuck out is this one boy, I don't know his name,
but he would
always dominate the Mortal Kombat machine.
And he would keep his quarters in his mouth.
It was the strangest thing.
And he'd get done beating somebody, flawless victory with Scorpio, and then he'd
spit out
like a little lizard, spit out a couple quarters, throw them back in the
machine, say, who's next?
Damn, man.
And that's a sign usually of eating disorder.
You know, that could be some type of eating disorder, maybe.
But yeah, every arcade had some kid at it that you didn't know from your town.
You're like, who?
There's only 40 kids in town.
I knows them all.
And who is this magic man?
Some little fella named Laser or something.
Every arcade had some weird-ass kid that you've never seen before who was
always winning all
the games and doing this and that.
Dude, I was always the weirdo at arcade where I would like, I'd have to check
every little
thing.
Then I'd go outside and check the newspaper machine, see if they had a quarter.
And then sometimes the video games, somebody would have dropped a quarter and
it would have
got stuck under.
So I'd look under there.
Sometimes I'd get a piece of paper and fold it over.
About four times make me a paper stick.
Make me a stick, but out of paper.
It's almost like, because a paper was a stick.
So really, you're just doing some damn.
It's almost like when you see a mannequin made out of actual human body parts.
You're like, damn, okay, this is, you know, this is back, back, forth, and
forth.
You know what I'm saying?
This is refurbishment.
But I'd make a paper stick and I would try to slide, reach under the machine
and see if
there was, because there's only about an eighth of an inch there and it was
dust in there.
It's nasty.
They usually have a little runt or a little gumball down there.
And I would slide that paper trying to knock a quarter out the end.
Or look behind the machine.
There was a button behind the machine, something you could press it, it would
turn the machine
on and off.
And I would always like, wait for it to come on and think it was going to let
me have a
free game and it wouldn't.
And then there was always the person that would sit there and watch you play
all the games.
That dude.
That kid.
Whoever that kid was.
A little Benji or a little Tragic.
We had a little black kid bus named Tragic, right?
And man, he never had a damn dime, bro.
He'd sit there and watch you play.
He wouldn't say nothing, bro.
Damn, he wouldn't say nothing.
I don't know if he ever even said nothing.
He might still be just looking at something.
But, um.
What else?
What'd you say, man?
Yeah, it was fun though.
The video games was a big part.
And I would get, what was that game?
Super Ice Brothers?
Let me see.
Super Ice.
Super S.
Ice Bros?
No, that wasn't it.
Yeah, Super.
Maybe it was Smash Brothers, but it was an old one.
I thought it was Ice Bros.
Yeah, there was some game.
Just, I don't even know.
Some of the games were just so old.
Oh, Castlevania.
And you get to, you know, it was like, I don't know what it was.
It was like some guy that was like kind of like, it was like Zillow for
vampires.
It was like some guy that was looking for a castle, I guess.
I don't remember.
He, you know, he just couldn't really find.
I don't remember what it was.
I don't remember what it was.
It was like five.
I don't remember if the place had a drawer.
He didn't lie.
What, he was fighting, but you were, he had a whip and you were angry at the
realtors.
And you were like looking for a nice castle, but you couldn't find what you
wanted.
You know, you'd be in like a 60 bedroom castle and you'd be pissed off.
It just, I don't know.
I wasn't real good at it.
But mom or dad give you that quarter and you go, oh.
When you put that quarter in, just the feeling you had.
I got a chance, all right.
Hit the buttons a couple times before the game starts.
Move the joystick.
Man, it was fun.
That was a good time.
Thank you for the call.
As always, the hotline, 985-664-9503.
Hope you enjoyed that video and you can watch another.
And you can watch this one, you can watch this one.
Different options, different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option, not this guy.
Two options.
Watch one.
This one or this one.