Name: Heather McMahan Vows To Find Riley Mau The Perfect Woman
Uploaded: 2021-04-11T14:57:55.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Heather McMahan Vows To Find Riley Mau The Perfect Woman' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Heather McMahan Vows To Find Riley Mau The Perfect Woman' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-11. Transcript available.

Riley how are you today? I feel like I'm in the presence of just like Barbra
Streisand I adore
you Riley. Japanese greatness right there. That's right. Are you Japanese Riley?
I am. Hell yeah.
How's church? It's pretty great. Great I love that for you. You're a man of God.
I'm a woman
of the Lord so that's why he just opened the door earlier and we just connected.
I felt the
Holy Spirit there. I could see that. I felt it. Yeah. Riley last year got his
first kiss actually.
Oh hell yeah. Hell yeah. How was it tongue? Yeah. Oh yeah. It was pretty great.
Yes. Yes it is.
Cleaning the palate baby with that freaking little ginger snap. There you go.
Now Riley I'm a great
matchmaker that's just like one of my talents so if you if you tell me like
what you like I mean you
can be very specific with it if you're like I want her to have green eyes and
you know be into anime
and you know love Chipotle like I will find her so don't ever you feel like you
can ask me I will
find you. Dr. Sus they call him Dr. Sus. Oh hell yeah. Yeah. Green eyes and
breasts. What do you like
Riley on and see if you are looking for a woman and I think Heather's very
serious about that. I am.
That she would consider helping you out brother. Yeah I mean I'm more of the
I don't I don't I'm I'm honestly open to anything. Not not anything anything
but like
um I mean like give us one one detail. Yeah give us a neat deal like you
talking so we talking five to
six feet what are we talking. Yeah. Cool um honestly as tall as you want um I'd
like six
four I mean you know do you want to be cuddled at night like you got just give
me specifics how
do you want to feel. Okay. Okay I like being cuddled. Okay great. All right so
a larger woman.
Okay. Large woman. Fantastic. Um I mean I'd like to cuddle her as well. Oh okay.
So maybe she has
one short leg one long leg. Yeah. You want to backpack it huh. Okay. Exactly.
Um yeah um
let's see what else. Fantastic. That's all I need right there. I got it. I just.
And it's about what
you get out of them. It's uh. Yeah yeah yeah. You know it's a it's a waiting
game. Okay. Give me a
blonde. It's a game show. You say give me a blonde. Give me a blonde. Oh all
right. Okay there we go.
See I like that and it's okay. I think men now feel intimidated like they can't
say what they want
but just be honest about it. Like I have a very specific time. I want a woman.
Yeah I want a woman.
That's fine. I want somebody with a vagina you know. Yeah. I prefer that. Okay.
And a good attitude
and that we can find that. There's plenty of women out there with vaginas and
good attitudes. Now
Riley because we haven't even really gotten into this Riley and I know have you
been uh
since the kiss have you been doing any more dating or is it. Uh not yet no.
Okay. I like the attitude
though not yet. Not yet. Not yet. But I will. Very optimistic. I will soon. You
got to speak it into
existence. Exactly. You know put it on the vision board. I used to think that
was such bullshit.
Right. And then I got high one like New Year's Day and I made a vision board
and then all the
shit came true. I was like god damn. Okay. So I think if you speak it out into
the universe and you're just like I want a blonde woman who I can cuddle or
maybe she
cuddles me. You'll see what happens. Wow. Yeah. You gotta ask me. And Riley I
mean look I
really believe and is Atlanta too far for you for a woman not Riley? Do you
have a mileage
uh do you have a distance? No Atlanta. How far is Atlanta and far? Not far at
all. 34 minute
flight four hour drive. I got you. Not bad. But I got women all over. Like I
have a posse of
beautiful women in Nashville. Yeah I got you. Okay. I don't want to end up in
any
sort of because legally it's going to come back on to me. Okay. Sorry.
I can find you love too. I can find you love too. Yeah. How old are you Riley?
I need to make
sure you're legal. I'm 22. Almost 23. Great. Great. Great. Yeah. Going on 23. I
love it. Yeah.
That's when somebody's younger. They also tell you how old they're about to be
next.
In 18 weeks I'll be 23. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for letting me sweat on your
couch. This is a real
magical afternoon. Yeah. We're going to auction off that that cushion actually.
Yeah. Let's get weir with it.
For all your sad lonely male followers. Riley's probably going to keep that and
freaking. Ooh. Let's go. Probably. Smell like testosterone. Riley. Ooh. Riley.
I actually
feel like there's been a little sexual energy between us. I really do. I do. I
mean do you feel
that way? Oh yeah. Okay. Good. Good. Riley is I mean all he has is sexual
energy. Yeah.
Honestly radiates it. Radiates sexual energy. I don't think you're living your
truth so I
think I'm going to get you with a broad shoulder thin ankle just big titty
blonde girl who loves
the Lord. You know. She's in the youth. No not youth. Sorry God. No. She's a
youth group leader but she is an adult.
Look. Yeah. Look. Let's be honest. At some churches she could be as long as she's
kind of like uh
as long as she's a pastor in training a PIT or whatever. Pastor in training. Or
a pastress. Yeah.
Whatever it is. You know. But I see it. And I just ask one thing. If I find you
your wife can I please
officiate the wedding? Sure. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Okay great. I love it. Look.
Who knows what could happen. Magic. It could be how magic starts.
Hope you enjoyed that video. And you can watch another. And you can watch this
one. You can watch this one.
Different options. Different choices. Some guy just brings you one option. Not
this guy.
Two options. Watch one. This one or this one.