Name: Shane Gillis Finds Out Riley Has Never Masturbated
Uploaded: 2021-08-20T18:28:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Shane Gillis Finds Out Riley Has Never Masturbated' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Shane Gillis Finds Out Riley Has Never Masturbated' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-20. Transcript available.

that's our uh producer riley now he's never even masturbated in his life which
is true and who is
that riley the the you've never masturbated give it a shot no no no you can't
he's like it's too
late now no he no it's not too i don't think it's too late i don't know
hopefully he can i don't
know he might have autism i don't even know him that well he's a great great
guy and i'm glad
that he's here sorry i didn't mean to bring that up it just kind of fell in a
conversation that
and uh are you doing okay riley i am there you go you just never masturbated
nope he's right he's part of a religious group and they don't do it yeah how
really what type of
religion uh christian oh shit yeah i'm with you brother i'm still firing him
off he's with you
you're more of a hester oh yeah yeah okay i was a catholic and they would talk
to you about coming
oh okay oh i had some priests ask me about you you grew up catholic right do
you
uh or no we were like sixth baptist i think oh okay do you ever get any guys
talking to you
about cum we had a professor i guess or i think then it was just a teacher you
know yeah and he
he would i remember he drew a picture of a wiener ejaculating on chalkboard and
it was he like kind
of described like he told us what the feelings would be like we wouldn't be
able to handle it and stuff
and then he drew it like um he drew the the ropes yeah the ejaculate just
coming out it was really
insane was he like was he like making the noise with it i remember he i do
remember it was one of
those double chalkboards here comes a big one i remember he would put the
marker on the board and
then walk it across the board that's crazy it was pretty crazy man and he wore
the shortest shorts
two he died man willie i think derrick ustner was his name or something and i
think his son might
have died but he died but his son died too i i'm pretty uh i don't want to say
that but i'm pretty
sure and he had the biggest mustache like i don't his words like i felt like
his words like i felt like
his word big mustache and he was talking bro his mustache came over both lips
so it was like
the words couldn't even some of the words you just had to guess what they were
people thought he
was some people thought he was black people didn't know what was going on we
just couldn't
understand what he was talking about it was crazy you know it was just
different times back then
so you don't beat off this is crazy we're just skimming past it never once in
your life how old
are you 23 all right you got time you're gonna get one off what i promise i
promise you're gonna
come oh dude i'll pat him on the back hard enough i bet he'll bust you know
what i'm saying
sorry brother i don't want to say that kind of stuff in front of i you know i'm
not trying to
i'm trying not to jerk off and he doesn't so it's you know it's interesting how
many times
do you mind if i ask you about do you have wet dreams a lot i don't that's
crazy what do you
what happens riley do you yeah i mean but you're saving yourself for a lady for
us to talk about
this or no we're fine i'm gay about talking about guys coming all right what uh
do you have a lot of
sensations in your body riley uh not really no i was gonna ask about sensations
i'm sorry man
can we even hear riley so do we have a mic we do uh do you have a lot of
sensations in your body riley
uh not really are you serious man yeah
you have no feelings i didn't know this bro this is awesome don't you get hurt
have you had felt
have you felt pain physically pain physical what kind of physical pain like you
ever break a bone or
anything no you ever get a cut i've gotten cuts what do you how does that feel
when you get cut
i don't know i put a put a band-aid on but does anything come does anything
come out
blood yeah all right but but you're okay though riley you don't have like a
that you don't have a
birth defect or something i don't okay that's what i was concerned with if you
don't have any
oh it's like your body no no i don't so you get erection right okay and what do
you do when you do
do you go outside do you put your hands in like a do you just calm down i just
ignore it dang wow
that is power bro it's pretty impressive that's power do you like the carl malone
of your own
yeah bro i mean that is insane baby yeah wow i mean that's wild man yeah and i
yeah i don't want to see i just want you to be i want you to be happy man
do you wish you never had never had come no yeah ejaculated there's never one
part of me that wants
that yeah having never i mean it'd be fun to experience it again for the first
time yeah that
would be nice but no i'm proud i'm proud of almost every one of them almost
across the board
oh dang nice we did it oh so you're in 4a there's been a couple there's yeah i
don't have any problem
with it oh my boys are like you're trying not to jerk off yeah i try not to i
feel bad when i do for
some reason it makes me feel i don't know disheartened it just goes away right
away wow like i don't
feel my friends feel that way my friend matt who i do my podcast with he's a
big like it's pigging
out don't be gross don't jerk off like that hope you enjoyed that video and you
can watch another
and you can watch this one you can watch this one different options different
choices some guy just
brings you one option not this guy two options watch one this one or this one