Name: Ari Shaffir on Eating G-pig (Cuy)
Uploaded: 2021-09-19T23:20:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ari Shaffir on Eating G-pig (Cuy)' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ari Shaffir on Eating G-pig (Cuy)' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-19. Transcript available.

Theo, Nick, Ari, question for you.
Is he jerking off?
What was it like living in Ecuador this year?
And did you happen to eat any kui, a.k.a. guinea pig?
This guy's Latino the way he said it.
How was it?
Gang, gang, go Lakers.
Fuck you, dude.
Fuck the Lakers.
That wasn't a real championship, you cunt.
How dare you?
Oh, my God, you fucking sprang it on me.
All right, first of all, I'll let you apologize for making fun of the fucking
head, chin scarf before.
I realize what you were doing now.
You were trying to hurt me.
And it worked, bro.
And it worked.
Fuck, I hate the Lakers.
Do you think he was being hurtful there?
I felt like he was being kind of like.
Jabby hurtful.
Fun.
Really?
Yeah, but I think in another way, he cares.
He wanted to send in a question.
He did care.
Yeah, yeah.
And he's not being mean.
I feel like, are a lot of Lakers fans forgiving to you if anybody said.
Well, generally, Lakers fans are dumb.
They're like not an intelligent species, you know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You'll see them with their flags all the time.
But then when they're bad, they took the flags off because they don't really
support the team, you know.
They're just kind of morons who need something to believe in.
Yeah.
Because they don't have good lives, good jobs, good families.
Their wives are ugly, generally.
And so it takes some making up, you know.
So they lash out.
But this guy seemed cool.
I don't know.
So they lash out.
That's a great question, though.
And that's really what it's based on.
Is that, man, did you have any?
I did have kui a bunch of times.
It's guinea pig.
It's in the Andes, in the Ecuadorian Andes, and I think maybe Peruvian.
So I went for COVID, too.
I went to Ecuador for six months.
Yeah.
I just fucking, same as you, but like, I went somewhere else.
Did you, what were some things that were real nice about being out there?
First of all, well, the kui, the guinea pig was so fucking, it was like duck.
It was so fucking good.
And I mean, you'd have it at truck stops.
You'd have it at nice restaurants.
But it's just this whole thing splayed out like this.
And they'd leave their teeth on.
Yeah.
But I mean, I would just destroy it.
Really?
Yeah.
One, it took like.
Can you put it in a chili or something or chili?
No, you can, but you put a spit in it, and then it just like turns.
And it's just like straight through his ass, through his mouth.
Oh, dude.
I used to sell them growing up.
That shit is harrowing.
I know that's one of the reasons why you asked, too.
Oh, it was so fucking good.
But this other shit, too.
Imagine that putting anything in their butt like that.
I guess when they're deceased, probably they do it, huh?
Yeah, they're already dead.
Because we saw a bunch of them like, kind of skinned.
But the skin is so hard.
Man, it was so good.
And what are they doing with the furs?
Are you seeing things that they're doing with the furs?
No, I didn't.
But they probably sell them or something or make like shit out of it.
Like, they're poor there, so.
Yeah, can you look up kui fur for us?
Yeah.
I don't know why you didn't see that.
But it was just being away from the American news.
Was that really nice?
I didn't find out who won the election for like three weeks, four weeks.
It was a leaked text.
We never found out.
I didn't know that until later.
I would be like, to Jeff, don't tell me we're in the election.
He goes, well, it's nobody.
And I'm like, oh, really?
He's like, I was still figuring it out.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's it.
Top left.
It's so fucking good.
It's so fucking good.
And what did they put under it?
Melon or something?
Put whatever you want under it.
Oh, that's these cheese things.
That's like cheese potato things.
I forget what they're called now.
How was the food down there?
I mean, this is, I can't believe I'd eat this.
So fresh, so delicious.
So this is a delicacy, Kui.
So this is a wealthy man's treat?
It's like 20 bucks, 25 bucks.
See, that's what breaks my heart then.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But like truck stop people could have it.
You could do a quarter, you know?
But not every day.
Although some people just caught their own.
They're everywhere.
Oh, really?
Anthony Bourdain was like, when he went down, I didn't see it,
but I heard he did an episode there.
And he was like, this could solve world hunger, man.
Just get over the fucking second grade shit
when you saw them and they were cute.
It would be great.
Yeah, that's the part I think is the tough part.
Because they're really, they're almost like a pony
just really compromised into a really small space.
What I got lucky in is...
Like a ground pony.
First I had one, and then I went to,
the equator goes through there,
and they have this little setup.
And they're really good about education
about all the different indigenous people there
and all the different parts of their country.
In Ecuador.
Galapagos to the Amazon to the mountains
and different just tribes and stuff.
And so in this exhibit, they had a bunch of guinea pigs.
And they were like, this is part of the Andean tradition
and stuff like that.
But I had already eaten it.
But man, those guinea pigs were so fucking cute
that I don't know if I could have
after I saw those guinea pigs.
They're so beautiful, man.
I mean, that's the thing.
That's one thing I think that's real fascinating about them.
And a lot of where I'm from,
they use them to teach you about your grandparents.
A lot of people, they...
If your grandparents getting sick,
your family gets you a guinea pig
and then the guinea pig dies
and that's how you learn about death.
And then the grandparents are like,
oh, that's going to happen to me?
Yeah.
What?
Or the parents will say,
this is going to happen to grandpa, you know?
Oh, to the kids.
Yeah, it's like a...
It's a little gateway to death,
a little stair step.
Can you Google in on the cute one?
Can you just look at that cute picture of them?
There we go.
I wonder if that's...
I mean, look at that.
Oh, Puneo Peru.
I mean, look at that.
Considered a delicacy, yeah.
Now, what's the meatiest part?
That back strap?
That rump?
Underneath the belly.
Oh.
Yeah, the skin is so hard
that you really can't...
Probably where it keeps all its hopes and dreams, too.
Where it keeps its thoughts.
Yeah, I could have a family.
I'm in a giddy family.
You're like, yeah, I ain't.
Yeah, I ain't.
Oh, this one, like tribal music.
What if you ate it
and you knew what they liked, you know?
Wouldn't that be crazy?
What they were into?
Yeah, I would like,
if you really want to go delicacy,
you find their family,
keep them alive
while they let them watch you eat their dad,
the provider.
And that right there is Ari Shavir.
That is a perfect example of Ari Shavir
of going to a level
that you would put one under a bright lamp.
He's sitting there.
He'd tape his eyelids open.
Dad!
Dad, no!
Hope you enjoyed that video
and you can watch another
and you can watch this one.
You can watch this one.
Different options,
different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option,
not this guy.
Two options!
Watch one.
This one or this one.