Name: Theo Calls Billy Conforto's Best Friend Chad
Uploaded: 2021-10-05T16:51:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Calls Billy Conforto's Best Friend Chad' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Calls Billy Conforto's Best Friend Chad' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-05. Transcript available.

All right, guys, right now we're gonna give a call to my boy old Chad over
there and he was really close with Billy Conforto and
You know I remember Billy he really
Billy was a beautiful fella man one of the only homosexual men that ever stood
up for me
Praise God, bro
We miss you man. He's upstairs dog
Hello, what's up big dog?
Can you hear me better now?
Yeah, I hear a lot better now. Hey man, bro, dude. So what's going on with y'all?
Where y'all living at in a tent?
We're staying right where we got flooded at. Oh, really?
Yeah, we
We're staying on some old
Sofas and all that waiting for FEMA to try to help out damn man. Y'all indoors
or outdoors?
We indoors the same. We just got electricity yesterday. Oh, yeah, what's the
first thing y'all did when you got it?
Shula, we've been going across the street. They got a church because our water
was off, too
So we had to go bathe on the side where the water came out on the church
Oh, that's a baptism right there that you do. Yes
Yeah, that's what I was saying. I went over there and I was like I said a
little prayer before
I get in the water
Well, you treat me down you triple baptized now, man. You certified you might
be a pastor, bro
One more bath. You might be a pastor
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I think the holy ghost came into me
Oh, man, dude. Thank you so much for uh for jumping on with me today, man
I just you know everybody on the podcast man loves billy man. Everybody loves
billy conforto and misses him and
And misses him being alive man. I just want you to
Can you share with me just a good billy story or something?
Yeah, which is sure I listen to the one when y'all was um, you're talking to
billy's brother chuckie or whatever. Oh, yeah
Yeah, we all talking about you and billy used to go out and use my my name my
id. Oh, yeah, did we use your well the
My idea I lost mine and billy was always he use anybody's id
Yeah, you did anybody's name. I think I got a couple tickets still
Dude, we had fun man. I remember
Well, the funny thing about billy bro was he would like say if you were at
somebody's house, bro
You were at just anybody's house. You're at somebody's house
When that when that other person went out of the room, he would always be like,
bro
I think fucking danny likes me bruh, and i'm like
I'm like dude danny's nine years old like danny does
Yeah, he used to do that to me all the time
He loved doing that shit. He always he loved people. He always like trying to
create like a little mystery
Well, you walk out to go use the bathroom if you were in there. He's like you
seen the way he's looking at me
Like really? Yeah, dude. Yeah, bro. It's just ridiculous, man
Billy was funny, bro, and he was tough to do tell me he he used to be able to
fight, right?
Yeah, you know him and all
The the dimensions they are boxing all shoot. I even did it for a little while,
but they uh
But see, you know, they all passed away, huh?
We all know some of them dear man. Jimmy and ronnie. That's was his cousins
that
the fighters and
And how they died
Um, I think it was into drugs or whatever. Oh pills drugs, huh? Yeah
And billy hit an embankment, huh?
Yeah
Oh
Yeah, and then even the shine you remember the shine was the one I was on. Oh,
yeah
Sean was fine dog. I was only friends with you because of the sun
Yeah, she um, she passed away too. Oh, man. I'm sorry, bro
Damn
Yeah, I think you had asked her to one of your dances or whatever she was gonna
go instead of billy and her was gonna go with you
I'm sure I did
Oh, yeah, oh billy tried to come to our prom I remember that you'd be like
because billy love dressing up and shit
He's like, bro
That might have been it, bro. He was going he was going to find him or somebody
It really was crazy. I'll take this one more tonight
Dude billy was the most fun man. What's something that you miss about him?
Probably everything out probably pretty much his compassion, right? Give me had
a heart for everybody met, right?
Yeah, no, he's just you don't matter who you bought if you if you needed
something
He'll help you out. He'll give you his last
Yeah, he would man. He would give you one of his legs, bro
if he had a fucking
If he had a wooden leg he'd give you that bitch so you could row a boat
Yeah, and then chase you with the one leg he got
To take the dog zeebo out walking on one leg
Bro, he would take a wooden arm off and train a fucking pit bull to bite on
that bitch, man
Remember when he would get the dogs to jump up onto the roof?
Yeah, but like sometimes he'd um
Hang on like a rope from a limb and he had a dog jump up there and grab it
You won't come down and throw it jook that rim off the
Ranch off that tree
Oh dude, he took a fucking rain gutter off a whole fucking uh
Off a ranch style home one time with those dogs. I saw him do it
Bro, he was like the fucking gay. He was kind of like the gay michael vick. I
think
He was special bro
How did you meet him? So were you guys cousins or what was that because I don't
remember exactly how you guys met each other?
It was it was a strange. I was with um, deshawn was their cousin and uh
Me and deshawn started dating in like fourth grade
Damn, bro
And she uh, she was I guess we was together about eight years as um
So without we you know during through high school and stuff
We wasn't together, but we got back together when I was like 19 and stayed
together until she passed
Damn, man, I didn't know you guys were together when she passed man. I'm sorry,
bro
Was it kind of hard at the end where a lot of people were dealing with
addiction over there?
Yeah, I guess it's when um
Everybody was addicted to like pain medicine. I don't know when all the people
were going to doctors out here and all that
Oh, yeah, man. Well, dude, I remember billy. So billy set me up with this girl
one time
Did you work over there with us by the restaurant?
Which one y'all was that broken eight? No, we work at this place called chefs,
bro
I don't even think they had a kitchen in that bitch dude
I don't know what we were selling
Damn, y'all serving tv dinners and so I think we were just
Bro people would come in
Get this, son
I think I don't know what we were serving, dude
The more I think about it, I think we had a freezer and a bunch of bus boys. I
don't think anybody in that
That bitch had a food
He was in the freezer eating dessert like hold on
Billy bring this tv dinner outside
Billy was so professional too, bro. Billy loved dressing up for work. He was he'd
be like, oh, your order will be right out, sir
He was always so professional
I know, man. I was so honest to it like I tried to do it, but I was so
embarrassed
Like I was shy like embarrassed to talk to people and stuff start stuttering
Like god, dude billy's like yeah
Yeah, billy was a g at it, man. Yeah
Yeah, I'm missing man. He loved those dogs too, bro, and dude. He here's what I
didn't like though
He had some crazy weed
So we get all gassed up dude. We fucking high as fuck and then those dogs would
start looking at me
And I was so he knew I was scared of dogs
And he would be like he'd always say shit like don't worry. I'll protect you
and i'm like, bitch. That's your dog and your weed
This whole thing is a setup dog
Oh, them dogs are everybody dude. It was funny man
He had some beautiful dogs though, man
um
So where you at now you living by the church. What you gonna do man? Y'all
still so y'all still struggling down there, huh?
We did a lot of people just starting to get their uh electricity, but
I'm just waiting on
I guess femur or something to
Do something I can't really do nothing
Dang, man
Well, look man, I just want to say man out of my heart, you know billy did so
many nice things for me, man, uh
You know
He just he stood up for me
You know, there was times he was like a little bit of an older brother
He gave me steroids, bro
That I don't even think were any good, but I fucking still lifted on them
bitches, dude
Yeah, your phone's real choppy. What is it?
I don't know is it still choppy now?
No, now it's not
All right. See, I remember when he was y'all was doing those steroids and stuff
Oh, yeah, boy. We was doused. We was fucking jacked
And billy would always wear these blue shorts. He'd be like, bro, I can't go to
the gym, man. I can't find my blue shorts
I'm like, dog, get some other shorts, man
Well, it was some short shorts for the guys to look
I think it was like some boring shorts. I don't know what it was dude, but he'd
always be like, bro
I think that guy over there is looking at me
And it would be like a blind dude some blind dude in a fucking standing there
with a with a walk and stuff
I'm like that dude's fucking blind, bro
No, no, he's not
No, he's not
Yeah, no, he's not
Man, oh dude, so billy one time set me up with a girl
So he gave me a soma pill. He's like this will help you relax, right?
Dude, I've never taken a fucking soma pill in my life, right?
So first off about nine minutes after he gives it to me, I take a right turn
And I took it about 30 yards after the turn, right?
So I drove right into a fucking ditch, right?
See, I know the somas are like what? Muscle relax, I think
I was with billy one time and he gave me like
He told me to take like two of them, whatever
He's like, here, take this
I was riding with him back from the doctor
She was going to the doctor and we
I said, well, i'm hungry, bro
So we stopped at a taco bell and I guess the somas would make you like shake or
whatever
I got a taco supreme, I went to sit down
I guess when it kicked in, I shook all the supreme over that had nothing but
meat left
Damn, you ever been so filled up you shook the supreme off a taco, bro?
I'm like, what's wrong? Why am I shaking?
He's like, come on, they're looking at you, it's time to go
I'm like, what did you do?
Damn, dude, you leave out of there with you
It looks like a dog that just got a haircut on the table
It's just toppings
I got a shell and the meat left
Shook my whole supreme off
Dude, them somas will take you supreme, baby
Them bitches make your fucking lips wet and they'll take you supreme
So then look what happened was, bro
So we, he still said, bro, you can't stand this girl up, dude
You can't be, you gotta be a gentleman, bro
I'm like, stand this girl up
I said, I can't stand up
He's like, fuck it, bro, I got you, dog
So we go to, we go to this nightclub over there in Fat City, right?
Right over there in Metairie, when you get off the Causeway, we go over there
Dude, I'm probably on Escapades or Kenny's QS, huh?
Some shithole, dude
It was dicey, bro
There was a lot of people in there
Some dude drinking cologne in the corner
Dicey
It had a boxing ring in the middle of the club, like dicey, okay?
But uh, so anyway, Billy walks
I can't even stand up, dude
I can't even stand up
It's like weekend at fucking Bernie's, dude
He walks me in there
He's like, bro, nobody will notice if we play that song "Electric Slide", right?
He puts that bitch on the jukebox
I'm like, what the fuck, dude?
So fast forward anyway
He's like, dude, the girl shows up
I can't even see her
That's how fucking high
I can't even see her
She ends up being nice
She gives me a ride home across the Causeway
back to uh, uh, Mandeville
Bruh, at some point I was so sick
It's just me and her
She's driving my car back
I puked all over her
So, bro, I get home in the morning
I come out to my car
The whole inside is filled with puke
Except for the space where she had been sitting, driving
And I don't know where she is, bro
You've never seen her since, huh?
I've never seen her since, dude
But damn, Billy always had an adventure, man
Well, she's crazy, you know
That's a lot, man
Well, look, man, on behalf of the podcast, man
We're going to send you 500 bucks
Just to fucking put a little jingle in the pocket over there
Buy some fucking dinner for your boy
Buy some Popeyes for your neighbor or whatever
And I just want to say, man
I love you, bro
And I love Billy, man
And thanks for jumping on a call today with me
Yeah, alright, I love you too
Well, I'm going to keep in touch with you, man
Yeah, 100%, man
I'll hit you up this week or something
And if you need something, hit me up, man
And then whenever I come home, dude, we got to go catch up
We raised some money for Billy
I was telling him we sold a bunch of t-shirts
We want to put a bench at a dog park or something
Alright, yeah, when you come in town or whatever
Just hit me up and I'll call
Me and you go take a ride or do whatever you want to do
Gang, bro
Alright, Chad, be good, dude
We'll hit you guys up on
I'll have the producer hit you guys up, man
And we'll talk to you later on, dude
Thanks again
Alright, thank you
Alright, peace, bud
Man
We got to find some pictures of Billy, man
That's what we got to find
We got to find some pictures
We're going to get the dog bench built
We got to do a little bit of work left
Hope you enjoyed that video
And you can watch another
And you can watch this one
You can watch this one
Different options, different choices
Some guy just brings you one option
Not this guy
Two options
Watch one
This one or this one

Theo Calls Billy Conforto's Best Friend Chad

All right, guys, right now we're gonna give a call to my boy old Chad over
there and he was really close with Billy Conforto and
You know I remember Billy he really
Billy was a beautiful fella man one of the only homosexual men that ever stood
up for me
Praise God, bro
We miss you man. He's upstairs dog
Hello, what's up big dog?
Can you hear me better now?
Yeah, I hear a lot better now. Hey man, bro, dude. So what's going on with y'all?
Where y'all living at in a tent?
We're staying right where we got flooded at. Oh, really?
Yeah, we
We're staying on some old
Sofas and all that waiting for FEMA to try to help out damn man. Y'all indoors
or outdoors?
We indoors the same. We just got electricity yesterday. Oh, yeah, what's the
first thing y'all did when you got it?
Shula, we've been going across the street. They got a church because our water
was off, too
So we had to go bathe on the side where the water came out on the church
Oh, that's a baptism right there that you do. Yes
Yeah, that's what I was saying. I went over there and I was like I said a
little prayer before
I get in the water
Well, you treat me down you triple baptized now, man. You certified you might
be a pastor, bro
One more bath. You might be a pastor
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I think the holy ghost came into me
Oh, man, dude. Thank you so much for uh for jumping on with me today, man
I just you know everybody on the podcast man loves billy man. Everybody loves
billy conforto and misses him and
And misses him being alive man. I just want you to
Can you share with me just a good billy story or something?
Yeah, which is sure I listen to the one when y'all was um, you're talking to
billy's brother chuckie or whatever. Oh, yeah
Yeah, we all talking about you and billy used to go out and use my my name my
id. Oh, yeah, did we use your well the
My idea I lost mine and billy was always he use anybody's id
Yeah, you did anybody's name. I think I got a couple tickets still
Dude, we had fun man. I remember
Well, the funny thing about billy bro was he would like say if you were at
somebody's house, bro
You were at just anybody's house. You're at somebody's house
When that when that other person went out of the room, he would always be like,
bro
I think fucking danny likes me bruh, and i'm like
I'm like dude danny's nine years old like danny does
Yeah, he used to do that to me all the time
He loved doing that shit. He always he loved people. He always like trying to
create like a little mystery
Well, you walk out to go use the bathroom if you were in there. He's like you
seen the way he's looking at me
Like really? Yeah, dude. Yeah, bro. It's just ridiculous, man
Billy was funny, bro, and he was tough to do tell me he he used to be able to
fight, right?
Yeah, you know him and all
The the dimensions they are boxing all shoot. I even did it for a little while,
but they uh
But see, you know, they all passed away, huh?
We all know some of them dear man. Jimmy and ronnie. That's was his cousins
that
the fighters and
And how they died
Um, I think it was into drugs or whatever. Oh pills drugs, huh? Yeah
And billy hit an embankment, huh?
Yeah
Oh
Yeah, and then even the shine you remember the shine was the one I was on. Oh,
yeah
Sean was fine dog. I was only friends with you because of the sun
Yeah, she um, she passed away too. Oh, man. I'm sorry, bro
Damn
Yeah, I think you had asked her to one of your dances or whatever she was gonna
go instead of billy and her was gonna go with you
I'm sure I did
Oh, yeah, oh billy tried to come to our prom I remember that you'd be like
because billy love dressing up and shit
He's like, bro
That might have been it, bro. He was going he was going to find him or somebody
It really was crazy. I'll take this one more tonight
Dude billy was the most fun man. What's something that you miss about him?
Probably everything out probably pretty much his compassion, right? Give me had
a heart for everybody met, right?
Yeah, no, he's just you don't matter who you bought if you if you needed
something
He'll help you out. He'll give you his last
Yeah, he would man. He would give you one of his legs, bro
if he had a fucking
If he had a wooden leg he'd give you that bitch so you could row a boat
Yeah, and then chase you with the one leg he got
To take the dog zeebo out walking on one leg
Bro, he would take a wooden arm off and train a fucking pit bull to bite on
that bitch, man
Remember when he would get the dogs to jump up onto the roof?
Yeah, but like sometimes he'd um
Hang on like a rope from a limb and he had a dog jump up there and grab it
You won't come down and throw it jook that rim off the
Ranch off that tree
Oh dude, he took a fucking rain gutter off a whole fucking uh
Off a ranch style home one time with those dogs. I saw him do it
Bro, he was like the fucking gay. He was kind of like the gay michael vick. I
think
He was special bro
How did you meet him? So were you guys cousins or what was that because I don't
remember exactly how you guys met each other?
It was it was a strange. I was with um, deshawn was their cousin and uh
Me and deshawn started dating in like fourth grade
Damn, bro
And she uh, she was I guess we was together about eight years as um
So without we you know during through high school and stuff
We wasn't together, but we got back together when I was like 19 and stayed
together until she passed
Damn, man, I didn't know you guys were together when she passed man. I'm sorry,
bro
Was it kind of hard at the end where a lot of people were dealing with
addiction over there?
Yeah, I guess it's when um
Everybody was addicted to like pain medicine. I don't know when all the people
were going to doctors out here and all that
Oh, yeah, man. Well, dude, I remember billy. So billy set me up with this girl
one time
Did you work over there with us by the restaurant?
Which one y'all was that broken eight? No, we work at this place called chefs,
bro
I don't even think they had a kitchen in that bitch dude
I don't know what we were selling
Damn, y'all serving tv dinners and so I think we were just
Bro people would come in
Get this, son
I think I don't know what we were serving, dude
The more I think about it, I think we had a freezer and a bunch of bus boys. I
don't think anybody in that
That bitch had a food
He was in the freezer eating dessert like hold on
Billy bring this tv dinner outside
Billy was so professional too, bro. Billy loved dressing up for work. He was he'd
be like, oh, your order will be right out, sir
He was always so professional
I know, man. I was so honest to it like I tried to do it, but I was so
embarrassed
Like I was shy like embarrassed to talk to people and stuff start stuttering
Like god, dude billy's like yeah
Yeah, billy was a g at it, man. Yeah
Yeah, I'm missing man. He loved those dogs too, bro, and dude. He here's what I
didn't like though
He had some crazy weed
So we get all gassed up dude. We fucking high as fuck and then those dogs would
start looking at me
And I was so he knew I was scared of dogs
And he would be like he'd always say shit like don't worry. I'll protect you
and i'm like, bitch. That's your dog and your weed
This whole thing is a setup dog
Oh, them dogs are everybody dude. It was funny man
He had some beautiful dogs though, man
um
So where you at now you living by the church. What you gonna do man? Y'all
still so y'all still struggling down there, huh?
We did a lot of people just starting to get their uh electricity, but
I'm just waiting on
I guess femur or something to
Do something I can't really do nothing
Dang, man
Well, look man, I just want to say man out of my heart, you know billy did so
many nice things for me, man, uh
You know
He just he stood up for me
You know, there was times he was like a little bit of an older brother
He gave me steroids, bro
That I don't even think were any good, but I fucking still lifted on them
bitches, dude
Yeah, your phone's real choppy. What is it?
I don't know is it still choppy now?
No, now it's not
All right. See, I remember when he was y'all was doing those steroids and stuff
Oh, yeah, boy. We was doused. We was fucking jacked
And billy would always wear these blue shorts. He'd be like, bro, I can't go to
the gym, man. I can't find my blue shorts
I'm like, dog, get some other shorts, man
Well, it was some short shorts for the guys to look
I think it was like some boring shorts. I don't know what it was dude, but he'd
always be like, bro
I think that guy over there is looking at me
And it would be like a blind dude some blind dude in a fucking standing there
with a with a walk and stuff
I'm like that dude's fucking blind, bro
No, no, he's not
No, he's not
Yeah, no, he's not
Man, oh dude, so billy one time set me up with a girl
So he gave me a soma pill. He's like this will help you relax, right?
Dude, I've never taken a fucking soma pill in my life, right?
So first off about nine minutes after he gives it to me, I take a right turn
And I took it about 30 yards after the turn, right?
So I drove right into a fucking ditch, right?
See, I know the somas are like what? Muscle relax, I think
I was with billy one time and he gave me like
He told me to take like two of them, whatever
He's like, here, take this
I was riding with him back from the doctor
She was going to the doctor and we
I said, well, i'm hungry, bro
So we stopped at a taco bell and I guess the somas would make you like shake or
whatever
I got a taco supreme, I went to sit down
I guess when it kicked in, I shook all the supreme over that had nothing but
meat left
Damn, you ever been so filled up you shook the supreme off a taco, bro?
I'm like, what's wrong? Why am I shaking?
He's like, come on, they're looking at you, it's time to go
I'm like, what did you do?
Damn, dude, you leave out of there with you
It looks like a dog that just got a haircut on the table
It's just toppings
I got a shell and the meat left
Shook my whole supreme off
Dude, them somas will take you supreme, baby
Them bitches make your fucking lips wet and they'll take you supreme
So then look what happened was, bro
So we, he still said, bro, you can't stand this girl up, dude
You can't be, you gotta be a gentleman, bro
I'm like, stand this girl up
I said, I can't stand up
He's like, fuck it, bro, I got you, dog
So we go to, we go to this nightclub over there in Fat City, right?
Right over there in Metairie, when you get off the Causeway, we go over there
Dude, I'm probably on Escapades or Kenny's QS, huh?
Some shithole, dude
It was dicey, bro
There was a lot of people in there
Some dude drinking cologne in the corner
Dicey
It had a boxing ring in the middle of the club, like dicey, okay?
But uh, so anyway, Billy walks
I can't even stand up, dude
I can't even stand up
It's like weekend at fucking Bernie's, dude
He walks me in there
He's like, bro, nobody will notice if we play that song "Electric Slide", right?
He puts that bitch on the jukebox
I'm like, what the fuck, dude?
So fast forward anyway
He's like, dude, the girl shows up
I can't even see her
That's how fucking high
I can't even see her
She ends up being nice
She gives me a ride home across the Causeway
back to uh, uh, Mandeville
Bruh, at some point I was so sick
It's just me and her
She's driving my car back
I puked all over her
So, bro, I get home in the morning
I come out to my car
The whole inside is filled with puke
Except for the space where she had been sitting, driving
And I don't know where she is, bro
You've never seen her since, huh?
I've never seen her since, dude
But damn, Billy always had an adventure, man
Well, she's crazy, you know
That's a lot, man
Well, look, man, on behalf of the podcast, man
We're going to send you 500 bucks
Just to fucking put a little jingle in the pocket over there
Buy some fucking dinner for your boy
Buy some Popeyes for your neighbor or whatever
And I just want to say, man
I love you, bro
And I love Billy, man
And thanks for jumping on a call today with me
Yeah, alright, 