Name: Theo and Mark Normand Trade Crazy Heckler Stories
Uploaded: 2021-10-15T17:18:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo and Mark Normand Trade Crazy Heckler Stories' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo and Mark Normand Trade Crazy Heckler Stories' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-15. Transcript available.

What's the craziest heckler story you've ever had?
And I'm not talking just like, you know, some banter back and forth.
I'm talking about like, got pissed, rushed the stage, etc.
I've never heard that asked on here before, and I just wanted to know.
Thanks, guys. Love you both.
Cheers, brother. Thank you.
That's a classic.
How's it going? You got one?
Well, I've had so many bad heckles, but the one that really fucked me up was
I was doing a, I was kind of new, I was probably like three, four years in,
and I got a college gig, which was huge.
Good money, fly you down, put you up, and it was in Florida,
and it was called Florida Atlantic.
It was an all-black school, which I didn't know, but I don't give a shit.
So I show up, and I had to follow a rap group.
It was like kind of a talent night.
I had to follow a rap group, and they were like twirling shirts going,
kill Whitey, fuck the cops, I'll kill you, you know, fuck this bitch, or
whatever.
And they're killing, like the whole place is jumping.
Yeah, yeah. It was the DNC, basically.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I remember there was like a little cute, nerdy black girl with a clipboard
going,
okay, you're next, and I just want to let you know it's very diverse.
Like, it's not diverse. It's all black. I'm the diversity.
But whatever.
So it was me and this other kid, and we were both supposed to do 30 minutes.
So, you know, these people don't want 30 minutes of one guy.
So he goes up first, and they trash him immediately, and he gets off after like
a minute and a half.
And I was like, what are you, crazy? You got to do your time, at least.
So he's like, fuck this, I'm out of here. I'm calling my agent.
He was like a, he had self-esteem, this guy.
Oh, yeah.
So then I'm like, all right.
And then they bring me up like, oh, we got another live one coming up.
Oh, baby.
And then he's looking at me like, oh, this guy's a goner.
Like, totally set up for failure.
So I walk on stage, and I'm walking to the mic.
The mic is like right where that camera is, and I haven't gotten there yet.
And some guy goes, look at this fag.
Kills. Kills.
It's a huge laugh.
So I was like, all right, all right, I can handle this.
So I was in such a New York state of mind.
I was like, damn, man, what if I was actually gay?
And he goes, no, no, you are.
That got an applause break.
He's getting high-fived.
They're crowd-surfing this guy.
He's a hero.
And then I try to do 20 minutes on Uber after that, and I just ate my lunch for
half an hour.
But I did my time.
Yes.
Yeah, but it was brutal, man.
I was just watching my watch tick.
Long half hour.
Long 30.
Like the Irishman.
Why do you think, oh, the Irishman's unbelievably bad.
So long.
Doesn't even make any fucking, or the departed, whatever.
I don't even know the difference between the two.
The fucking shit's horrible.
You know what I'm saying, dude?
Yeah.
Some of it's so fucking bad.
I would rather watch that guy, Sheamus, from WWE Wrestle.
That seems more authentic.
Right.
To the Irish Mafia.
But, dude, why is it that comedians can take that fucking, that thing?
Because that's, for some people, that would kill them.
That would put them into a mental breakdown.
That's true.
I think because we have, our mind is already so mean to us.
So we're like, oh, I can handle this.
And they were kind of laughing.
So in a weird way, I was like, they're trashing me.
I'm the punching bag.
But at least I'm creating entertainment.
Even though I am the butt of the joke, we're all having a good time.
I mean, I'm not.
But they are.
Right.
So there's a part of me that's like, all right, at least this is kind of fun
for them.
But it was harsh.
Yeah, even though I'm the butt of the joke, at least they're having a good time.
Yeah.
Like, if I wasn't there, they wouldn't be laughing.
Right.
And they're mocking me, and it hurt.
But at least I'm a part of something.
Yeah.
So I took it.
Yeah, man.
I had one like that at University of North Florida.
They booed us off this.
They booed me off the stage.
They didn't know I had to come back out in Florida.
Yeah.
They didn't know I had to come back out between each.
It was a battle of the bands.
Oh, yeah.
They didn't know I had to come back out again between each band.
I burned all my, I was supposed to do five minutes between each band, right?
I told them I had 40 minutes, bro.
I had fucking 18 minutes.
I burned it all out of the first time, and I had to come back out fucking like
six more times.
Oh, my God.
You just got to start riffing.
What is that, a clock over there?
Holy hell.
Oh, it became a running gag.
When I ran, at least about the third time, the fourth time, it was like, no way,
this dude's back.
I actually physically became the joke.
There was one time, and they used to have this room in L.A. called, it was like
at a bar, cafe in UCLA in Westwood.
It was like-
College kids are ruthless.
Yeah, and it was UCLA bar, so there's no check.
It's a sad environment for college, compared to what college, most college kids
are used to.
Yeah.
So, one kid starts heckling me in the audience, dude.
He's talking shit, right?
I got just lost it, man.
I get off stage.
Uh-oh.
I'm coming at the dude.
Start choking him.
What?
Yeah.
Choking the guy.
Wow.
I didn't realize I had the mic in my hand the whole time I'm choking him, right?
Yeah.
Ah!
You could hear the swallowing.
Oh, yeah.
You could hear it all.
It's crazy.
And I'm like, why were you being so mean to me?
Just the fucking lamest thing you could say to somebody.
Yeah.
But that was-
That and people were dying laughing because he and I were tussling, but the mic
is right there.
Good for you.
But-
I had one similar, Hartford Funny Bone.
This is years ago.
It was probably like 25 people in the room.
I'm eating my ass.
This guy is in the front row.
I'm talking a real nerd guy, like fat guy with glasses and a beard.
And he had a woman with him and another, like a sister and his cousin or
something.
And he's just, this guy is like a loser.
And I'm bombing.
And they keep doing the thing where they mimic my bomb.
Like I'd be like, oh, Mick Ultra, huh?
That's the punchline.
You go, Mick Ultra.
Whew, that was bad.
And then I'd be like, well, what about shag carpet?
He's like, shag carpet, nothing there, you know?
And it was, no one could hear it but me.
So he was like taunting me.
So I just lost it on this guy.
And I was like, fuck you, you piece of shit.
And apparently he was like kind of downsy or something.
So maybe he was not fucking with me.
Maybe he was just being retarded or something.
But I didn't know that.
And I kept going at him.
And this is when it gets really bad.
When you're like, fuck you.
And I just got angry.
It wasn't even funny.
And this guy in the back goes, go easy on him.
So I go, well, fuck you too.
What the hell?
I'm up here alone.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
So eventually the guy got up.
The retarded guy got up and was like, what the fuck?
And I was like, oh, shit.
This guy's all, you know, a little melted.
And I was like, oh, shit.
All right.
Well, what are you going to do?
And they threw the kid out.
And they had to throw him out.
And he was like kind of moaning and stuff.
Oh, it was bad.
Oh, come on.
What?
And then I had like another 20 to do after that.
It was a nightmare.
So now that other crowd hates me because I shit on them.
You're going to hell, man.
Yeah.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
Yeah, you didn't know.
And look, I had the same thing happen, man.
That's a very good story.
And it's better than mine.
But I'm still going to tell mine.
Please.
I'm in San Francisco.
And it's at like a weed conference or something, right?
And I don't even smoke weed.
So I'm at the place.
People are blowing weed, smoking the air and stuff.
And so I start getting just zooted out on stage, bro.
There's a guy dressed.
It's like the San Francisco weed conference.
There's just some, some, some, it was bad.
Yeah.
Was it pre-legal or legalized weed?
It was pre-legal.
Okay.
So weed was still a big deal.
There were like booths.
There was like THC stuff.
But it was still, they were pushing the limits.
Right.
And some guy was dressed like a captain, like a total captain who brings me on
stage.
At that point, I am so cooked out of my gizzard.
Like the whole, people have just been blowing joints.
It's the, I'm the last act of the day.
It's been an all day affair.
Uh-huh.
There's probably 13 people in a room that would seat maybe 150.
Oh boy.
All those folding chairs.
The guy in the front is mentally disabled, right?
Nobody tells me.
Yeah.
Nobody tells me.
I get up there.
I didn't, I literally didn't even know what was going on.
I didn't know that I was a comedian.
I didn't know what was happening.
Whoa, you were that high.
I didn't know if I was an auctioneer.
I didn't know what was happening.
Wow.
It was not good, right?
And this guy starts saying stuff, messing with me.
And finally, somebody yells out, could have even been you, yells out, that guy's
retarded,
right?
And I was like, well, put a sign on him then, you know, right?
That's a good line.
And then finally, it was the first last I got, dude.
And I quit.
I got down.
I was like, I'm done.
I think it had literally been four minutes, dude.
But when you're high, four minutes is like a week.
I think everybody, the guy there was like, man, you did great, dude.
You did great.
Oh, good.
I paid my money.
All right.
That's a happy ending.
Yeah.
They paid me a thousand bucks, man.
Oh, that's big.
That was big.
Not a bad gig.
Just trash this Downsy kid and get a check.
Yeah.
It could be worse.
Hope you enjoyed that video.
And you can watch another.
And you can watch this one.
You can watch this one.
Different options, different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option.
Not this guy.
Two options.
Watch one.
This one or this one.
Thank you.