Name: Theo Von Confronts His Fear of Snakes
Uploaded: 2021-10-19T01:06:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Confronts His Fear of Snakes' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Confronts His Fear of Snakes' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-19. Transcript available.

I wish if I'd have had a snake, I'd pet one, man.
I got one.
You want one?
Did you guys really bring one?
I'd bring one.
Yeah.
You want to get it?
I was just saying that.
I think you should.
I think you should.
If you'd be here with me, man.
I'm here.
I'm here, man.
I'm right here.
All right, let's get one, man.
Let's see what's going on.
And where is this snake from, brother?
All right, I'm going to start.
Hang on a second.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
You shouldn't have done it.
So, Theo, I'm going to start small, okay?
Whoa, whoa, dog.
What you doing, man?
Come on, man.
This is small.
I'm going to start small.
I've got one other snake you've got to check out.
But check this out.
This is called a piebald ball python.
Look, it's got a smiley face on it.
Okay.
And it's got an upside-down smiley face.
Okay, come on, man.
Now, is these glasses, is this going to scare him?
Nope, not at all.
This is drama.
Well, come on, man.
That dude's moving around, bubby.
No, no.
Just hold your hands out like this.
You're going to be good.
He's going to know I'm scared because I know I'm scared right now.
He's not going to care.
He doesn't matter.
Well, what about me?
You can be scared, but you're not going to be afraid because you're going to
feel it,
and you're going to be like, hold it now.
That's way cooler than I expected, all right?
He can't bite through this, can he?
He can't bite you ever.
All right.
I promise you.
Okay, so what's going to happen then?
This is going to happen.
Can I just put him on the ground?
Can I put him on the table, or should I put him in the air?
You can put him in the ground.
But if I have these bracelets, is that going to scare him?
Nope, it's not going to scare him.
I don't want him scared, dude.
You got it.
Let me just touch him first.
Touch him first, yeah.
It doesn't feel like it's not slimy.
Okay, cool.
So, you ready?
You'll be fine.
Yeah, all right.
Let me just do this real quick, and then I got one other thing I'll show you.
See, that's not bad, right?
The thought of holding a snake is way worse than actually holding a snake.
He's just chilling.
Okay.
Okay, good?
All right, let me show you one more.
Jesus, dog.
Damn, bro.
I think I just had an egg birth in my heart.
I feel like I just had a pair of white chow.
Damn, boy.
Now, this one's got to go around your neck.
Damn, bro.
Come on, bro.
This one's got to go around your neck, all right?
What?
This one's super sweet.
It's the only way you can hold it.
Hold on, dude.
I can't even hear you right now.
You have to give me at least 10 seconds of a minute to chime in, man.
Damn, bro.
You're going to be fine.
Okay, now, what is that snake doing?
Where is that snake from, man?
This snake is a Burmese python.
It's a final Burmese python.
And it's not going to do anything.
It's super tame.
I mean, this is, I mean.
It seems like it wants to do something.
It's around, like, five-year-old kids all day long.
God, dude.
You ready?
Yeah, now, what are you going to do?
Are you going to put it on me, and then what do I do?
Just sit here?
Just sit here, and I'll take them off when you tell me.
Okay.
All right, super simple.
Well, it just, hold on, dog.
It just was breathing.
It was just breathing.
Why can't it fucking just breathe real quietly, more quietly,
dude?
Yeah.
It's going to be fine.
It's breathing like a damn, like it's damn, we got a V6 in its net.
It's going to be fine.
I got you, all right?
Okay, let's wait until it's looking away.
All right, I'm going to take it like this so it's looking away.
You tell me when you're ready.
Okay, and it's not going to go up my sleeves or anything, is it?
Should I pin my sleeves closed?
No, you're good.
You're good.
I got you, all right?
Just like this?
Yep.
Like this?
Okay.
And if you put this hand out like that, you can control its head, and you're
set.
See?
You did it.
You proud?
Yep.
You won.
Can you take him?
I got you.
Thank you, brother.
You got it.
Jesus Christ, bro.
Yeah, that was awesome, right?
I feel like ripping my fears, dude.
That's what I feel, scared, bro.
You did good, man.
You did good.
You should be proud of yourself, man.
That's good stuff, isn't it?
Yeah, can I try one more time with that?
Yes, of course.
Okay.
I just want to feel, I want to feel the fear again.
I told you.
I told you this is how it happens.
All right.
Am I good?
You're good.
He's just kind of cruising around.
Do I hold him or anything?
You're good.
All right.
And how do I seem, okay?
You're good.
I mean, you seem a little stiff.
That's fine.
He seems fine.
He's happy.
You can move.
You can breathe.
You can do all that normal stuff that people do.
All right.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're grateful you're here tonight.
Thank you.
This episode brought to you by liquid death, or just regular death.
Okay.
What is he looking at?
He's still looking at the plant.
Okay, good.
Yeah, man.
He seems, wow.
I think it's just that he doesn't seem like a bad guy.
Yeah, he's a good guy.
Trust me.
I only brought good ones.
Okay.
Thank you.
Okay.
I think I'm okay for today.
That's good, though.
Goodbye, buddy.
There you go.
Wow.
You did good, brother.
I'm proud of you.
You were powerful.
See?
It's like you won.
It's like you won.
You're a winner.
In a weird way, I feel a little bit more, yeah, like I won, just like I did
something, you
know?
Yeah.
Like I leaned into the discomfort.
Oh, jeez.
No worries.
It means it's his lunchtime, I'm sure.
Yeah, that's just in time.
Just in time, I took him back.
So close.
Yeah, so close.
Wow, man.
That's amazing, dude.
Yeah, it's cool, right?
I mean, when you do it, it's kind of, it's mesmerizing, right?
Oh, yeah.
And that's what I told you, is that people that, just like you, you know,
afraid, then you do
it, and you're like, oh, let me do that again, man.
Let me do that again.
And then next thing you know, you're like really into it.
I'm telling you, you know, if you were close to me, you'd be at my place every
day.
You'd be like, holy crap, this thing is awesome, you know?
When we come up, man, I owe you a vlog.
I'll come in there when we come up, and we'll do something fun, man.
You have to show me around a little bit.
I'll try to be more, a little bit more brave.
You were brave, man.
You did great, dude.
I feel good.
It definitely makes me feel something.
It makes me feel like I did something I didn't want to do a little bit, you
know?
Yeah, I feel a little bit more like, maybe, I don't know if it's, maybe a
little bit more
confidence.
I think you're, I think you could see it, actually.
You know?
I could see it in your face.
You went from like terrified in the beginning to almost like, wow, this is all
right.
I got this, man.
I got this.
That's pretty awesome.
You should be proud of yourself.
I'm proud of you.
Thank you.
Hope you enjoyed that video, and you can watch another, and you can watch this
one.
You can watch this one.
Different options, different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option, not this guy.
Two options.
Watch one.
This one or this one.