Name: Theo Von & Mark Normand Talk About Brendan Schaub
Uploaded: 2021-11-22T11:14:58.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von & Mark Normand Talk About Brendan Schaub' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von & Mark Normand Talk About Brendan Schaub' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-22. Transcript available.

- Brennan Schaub's a fuckin' chiseled fat bitch.
Like he's got the slick hair, the cool shoes,
he's got a chain on.
I would never even think to put on a chain.
I can't do that. - Oh, he's the white part of bacon.
Yeah, I always call him the white part of bacon.
Still good, but damn, boy.
- Yeah, yeah. - A little thick
and not good for you.
- Yeah, he's a thick crust.
- Yeah, he is. - And he's got the cheese
in there, too. - Oh, yeah.
- You know, you stretch it and it pulls.
- Oh, yeah, it's like, dang, how much cheese?
- I know, I know, but he's like seven foot one,
he's got a huge piece and a fat ass.
It's crazy. - He only has one leg, dude.
His other, that is a fuckin' penis with a knee on it.
- Wow, he's got a bendy dick.
- Yeah, dude. - He's got ligaments.
- Oh, dude, yeah, he can stand on his dick, yeah.
It's pretty crazy.
- It's a kickstand, a dickstand.
- You know what's amazing about Brennan Mann,
'cause he and I do the King of the Sting podcast,
and it's like, he's like, to go from football, right,
to fighting, which you would never even imagine
if you talked to him that he was a UFC fighter, I feel like.
- I know, he's so sweet.
- Yeah, it's like, he's kind of like that American dream
in a weird way of like, that if you work hard,
you can make things happen, you know?
- Yeah.
- Like, he never stops working.
- Right.
- You know, it's crazy.
He works so hard, bro, it's crazy.
Like, he's up in the morning, he's on that bike,
he's got his family, he's flying to Columbus this weekend,
he's coming back, he's doing this podcast,
he's doing that, and he keeps a good attitude
about it the whole time.
- Yeah, positivity is very underrated.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, he's very positive, he looks good the whole time,
he's always smiling, you never see him like,
ah, fuck this shit, you know?
And you're right, he does work, and--
- And that vibe that he has, that's one of the things
that I think a younger generation with comedy,
that they attract to more, because they don't,
they don't have this kind of left, like this,
to them it's all like about, it's more--
- Fun. - Fun.
- Yes.
- Let's have fun, it doesn't matter who we are,
what's going on, let's have a good time,
and that's what he has, you know?
- Yes.
- Whereas some of the others, we're like,
oh man, you know?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Somebody, you know, I have this doldrum inside of me,
and that's what keeps me going.
- Not to mention, people watch the news all day,
it's nothing but shootings, and death, and politics,
and Trump, and all this shit coming at you.
See, when you see this fun-loving, happy-go-lucky guy,
you're like, all right, it's like, ah, I feel a little better,
like, I can breathe a little, then, you know,
'cause some guys, you watch, like, Bill Burr,
and it's just like, dude, I fuckin' kill ya,
your mom's a cunt, and your dad's gay, and all,
and you're like, all right, all right, all right.
- I did it, you're like, yeah, I did it, I did it.
- Yeah, yeah, exactly, don't hurt me.
You feel like he's gonna give you a wedgie.
- Yeah.
- And then you see Schaub, and you're like, all right,
it's like a golden retriever.
- Oh yeah, he's kind of like a Chewbacca.
- Ah, yes!
- That broke into like a Claire's Boutique
and will not leave, dude, no matter what, bro.
He said, we're open 24 hours a day now.
- Yeah, if a Chewbacca ran through a Armani exchange,
and shit stuck to him, yeah, he's a cool dude.
I texted with him today, he's a good egg.
- He is a good egg, man.
- And then, like, I did his podcast once,
and this is the complete contrast of New York.
I pull in, it's a sunny day, he pulls in, red Ferrari,
I see one fucking giant shoe of an Air Jordan
hit the concrete, I'm like, oh, who's this?
Tom Cruise, you know, and it's fucking him.
Like, you're a comic, what's going on?
But it's a different era.
- Yeah, he's in that, I don't know, they just,
I wish sometimes that I had like the clothing confidence
of like Hamm and Delea and those guys.
- I know, they're so sexy.
- God, I'm just like, does this fit?
This is never fit.
That's the only thing I ever think when I put something on.
- Yeah, maybe, like, we went to public school.
- Yeah.
- Every time I'm in a dressing room at like a Gap,
I put something on, like a jean jacket,
and I go, hey, this looks pretty good,
and all I hear is eight friends going,
what the fuck do you think you're doing?
You think you can pull that off, you fucking loser,
you piece of shit, you kill yourself,
and I'm like, all right, there we go,
that was a fun moment,
and you put that shit right back on the hanger.
- Yeah, dude.
- Hope you enjoyed that video,
and you can watch another,
and you can watch this one, you can watch this one.
Different options, different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option, not this guy.
Two options.
Watch one, this one or this one.