Name: How A Turkey Farmer Does Thanksgiving
Uploaded: 2021-11-24T21:22:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How A Turkey Farmer Does Thanksgiving' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How A Turkey Farmer Does Thanksgiving' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-24. Transcript available.

Robert Huffman we're sitting here with uh the turkey farmer baby this is your
time of year
really coming up yeah yeah we generally uh it's kind of funny we get that a lot
but uh
we're year-round you know so Thanksgiving is just another another day for us we're
we're pumping
turkeys you know 24-7 oh dang man but do people I feel like people like I feel
do you wake up on
Thanksgiving morning and you're like fired up and the kids are all you know you
know they're fired
up and people are doing like turkey calls like is it that kind of a day for you
guys is it how how
big of a of this time of year is uh y'all's market share basically uh for our
for our market share
it's probably I don't know maybe and I don't know what market share means also
yeah so so generally
we're growing birds here around so if my flock happens to go out before
Thanksgiving or a month
before fine if it doesn't um it's probably about I don't know 30 percent of
what a true turkey farm
goes through so around Thanksgiving like is there an extra batch do you double
up on your batches like
starting in like October or something or you know would you say it's not 19
weeks 19 weeks so that's
that's for a heavy tom and um if if it's going for when we're doing like turkeys
for Thanksgiving
uh-huh they're probably they're probably putting them in they're taking them
out at half that so
they're probably going out around 13 to 15 weeks a medium-sized bird okay and
that's the one that
most people buy for yes that's what they're going to buy for Thanksgiving okay
and they'll put these
specialty birds just for that and they're they're medium toms is what they'll
call them damn
yeah and how'd they get the name tom it's uh genetically I guess that's what
you call you
know a tom and a hen and we'll have hens in there occasionally because they'll
sex them but they don't
always get them right so you have big old hens mixed in there with the tom is
there trans turkeys do
you start to see that even in like the turkey uh you know they don't really
identify other other than
tom and hen and maybe you know you'll find a dominant I found hens with beards
on them so
maybe they're maybe they're transitioning oh I found some of them too around
town
I've definitely dude one of my buddies had a real issue with them
can I eat a male turkey or a female turkey at Thanksgiving can I have either
one yeah potentially
it might be either or so I don't have any idea no no wow now now my mom know if
it comes in the kitchen
and she's in there doing it yeah you would never know really yeah because uh so
we sell turkey fries
okay and that's turkey nuts so they're uh they're they have glands and their
nuts are actually in their
wings no way yeah so they'll pop them things out and you fry them up meet them
up they good or bad
they're good yeah yeah I mean they're do they bust a little or they just kind
of now they just fry
them up it's just like you know eating it yeah like a what this is like a nugget
like a chicken nugget
you got okay you good you eat nuggets is this them right here yeah wow yeah
yeah they're good man
uh we've we've served them at numerous meetings or you know congressmen and
senators and stuff go to
the turkey federation meeting we used to have them there I mean I just ate elk
nuts like a week ago
because we went out elk hunting and our guide fixed up a nice uh rocky mountain
elk parmigiana
well I think look Joe Rogan can apparently eat his own penis I read the other
day on the internet so
I think at this point everything's everything's fair game yeah dude if I was
starving I'd eat one of
my nuts right out of my damn body I think you know because if they feel it
feels like you'd have
yeah I'd have one I'm gonna have both of them like some creep you know damn do
native americans ever
look at you as like the bad like do you ever get billed as like the bad guy for
doing turkey you
think not to my face I mean I got some native american family members so we're
the the virginia
tribes they they still give a uh a turkey and a deer to the governor every year
oh wow but uh now
really yeah that's pretty remarkable if you look that up they'll still do that
uh um it's like an annual
since there's no reservations or anything in virginia you know there's just
what's left of us in the that
area you know my uh family members they do the powwows and they'll do uh oh you
have native american
family members yes I got some they're married in and you know they uh they
treat me you know they're
awesome so I don't have uh I don't think they were really worried about nobody's
coming at you like
you're a pilgrim no no yeah I didn't think no you never know what's going on
out there man you never
know yeah I have a quick question for your turkey farmer uh what does he eat on
thanksgiving because
for me if I was processing all those birds and and getting ready for this
thanksgiving rush I'd be so
over it I'd be like no we're gonna get some steaks we're gonna get some ham or
something something else
um so what does he do and then if he is turkey then what's his favorite side
because obviously the
bird man is gonna know the best side to go with some turkey uh so I'm looking
for some suggestions
appreciate you gang gang yeah bird man yeah what's the uh what is it what's the
choice from the
captain himself what what is it you know I always joke around with the guys
with the company we eat one
of our turkeys every year so like just before I come here one of my guys from
the company we kill
kill our own birds and then we keep keep our turkey birds and we give everybody
in the company
a free turkey okay but with that being said I mean I've been lobbying to to get
some ham maybe partner
up with a pig company or exchange or something yeah y'all do is there any dark
you sneaking over there
at night across the freaking pig pen or what is there any no no it's none of
that uh but do you
choose so for thanksgiving you guys have turkey yes I I mean I cook a lot I'm
you know borderline
chef wife's a chef but uh we we do the I do a nice uh infrared so I don't deep
fry it but I put
them in that infrared and it gets that crispiness just like a deep fried bird
without all that oil
really is that the new thing it's delicious is it yeah because I grew up on
that turducken man and
even oh yeah turducken's good damn uh turditos I remember so it's like a turkey
and a duck and then
they fill it with cheetos I remember and I'm like what is this shit you know I'm
saying they had damn
everything uh I think it was I couldn't tell I think it was regular okay yeah
because we nobody in
our area ate those jalapeno cheetos yeah it was more the they didn't even have
the hot ones at that
point it was just they were still doing the regular cheeto you know something
to try but that third
item now did that turducken did that ever hit you do you guys have to do that
no no um I'm never I
mean I've bought a turducken you believe in all that it's not it's okay it's
just a lot going on
you got the turkey and chicken and all that stuff stuffed in there sometimes I've
seen them stuff
a quail in that thing yeah or I've seen uh teralla teralla deep or whatever it
is teralla
deep it's turkey alligator and then sheep meat in it oh yeah at some point
people are just damn
this is a damn gang bang I feel like you know what I'm saying like that's a
little too much I feel
like if uh you get those all those meats you just cook them primarily alone you
can still do your own
mix yeah you could mix it on your plate like why do you have to I feel like
they get it robs flavor
from one or the other yeah that's a lot of trial and error there um now I like
I like my turkey I like
to do it uh you know in that infrared deep fryer style oilless fryer whatever
you want to call it
is it glad I've never had that that sawn it's almost like a sauna huh so it's
uh it's propane and then
it's like one of those uh smokeless fire pits you know so now the smoke comes
up and it's like a tube
and you drop the turkey in just like a fryer and the heat just goes around it
and they crisp it up
just perfect oh damn boy like that thing's in Barbados or something I like to
inject it with
some marinades get it juicy hope you enjoyed that video and you can watch
another and you can watch
this one you can watch this one different options different choices some guy
just brings you one
option not this guy two options watch one this one or this one