Name: Theo Recaps Going To UFC 269
Uploaded: 2021-12-22T21:21:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Recaps Going To UFC 269' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Recaps Going To UFC 269' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-22. Transcript available.

I went to UFC 269, and dude, it was, my God, I got there, and it was, I mean,
it was, so
I went with David Spade, you know him, and he's fancy, you know, he's pretty
fancy, you
know, he's Tommy Boy, Joe Dirt, you know, he's that rascal, you know, he's that
rascal,
man, you cut on a damn rascal fountain, and he'll fly, you know, he's the first,
he's
the first flow out that bitch, and man, we were geeked up, we went, we made
some bets at
the betting window at the Wynn Motel, we were staying at the Wynn Motel, and we
made some
bets over there at the betting window, which was pretty cool, kind of old-fashioned,
there's
not a lot of, there's not a lot of different parlay, you just walk up, and you
say, okay,
I want this guy, or this horse, or, you know, or this woman, you know, there's
just a couple
options, so we did that, we put, we laid some bets down, and then we went over
to the fight,
so we get there, dude, we're sitting right behind Dana White, like, I mean,
like, if he
got COVID, we got COVID, you know, if he still even had a, even a vid, or a co,
or a Ovi,
we got, you know, we were right there, we was breathing the same, we was just
volleyballing
there, and, and, and that was amazing, and then David sitting next to me, then
next to
him, Halle Berry, from damn movies, from damn, you know, wherever she's from,
you know, I
don't even know, gorgeous town, you know, uh, fine as fuckington, I don't know
where she's
from, but she just looked damn vibrant, she looked like a shooting star, it
just landed
right in her damn heart, and it was just coming out of her eyes when she talked
to you, and
I mean, it just, damn, I mean, every time, you know, when you're, just, uh, and
she loved
fighting, so she was, we're sitting here just chatting about the fights, and,
um, yeah, that
was, that was, you know, that was really interesting, um, then, who else, oh,
Tommy Lee, the draw,
the famous musician, was, uh, there, Jared Leto was there, beautiful guy, dear
God,
I mean, you look at the guy, and you're like, damn, you're like, damn, I don't
know if
this dude is, I mean, is this dude fine as fuck, like, you're just, you're like,
and you're
not, you're a straight man, you're like, is this, is this dude fine as fuck,
this dude's
hotter than, uh, probably some of the girlfriends I've ever had, certainly
Mormon and my, my first
girlfriend was really, really strong girl, probably six, six, six foot at the
time, and
we were small, and I remember she would, and I've told this story before, she
would, uh,
pick me up at the bus stop, and she'd put me around her waist and kiss me like
that, just,
straight on kiss me like a damn, God, just like, and she, I think she shaved,
dude, I think
she shaved a little bit around her mouth, and she would just, because I
remember in the
winter when she would kiss me, it would burn my face a little, I just remember
my face just
feeling like, damn, like I'd just done a damn business meeting or something,
and it was just
a lot, you know, and she played, I think she played softball, I don't know if
we had a softball
team, she played somewhere, but she said she did anyway, she, she wore the
uniform, and she
was always punching the mitt, and damn, I don't know, but she definitely, she
really, uh,
she really had her way with me, that beautiful girl, what else, uh, but yeah,
the fights were
amazing, dude, I got to see Dominic Cruz, so Dominic Cruz is a fighter, he's an
American
fighter, um, and he looked like Tom Cruise, he's wearing, he, uh, he, he had
already had
his fight, and we got there after that, so I knew he'd won, because, um, I'd
been following
him online, but I, I didn't get to be there and see it, uh, but he's dressed
down, now he's
in street clothes, and so, you know, he's just being, you know, he has
sunglasses on, he comes
up, and we're talking, and I'm thinking, like, who, I don't, and then I
realized, oh my god,
this is freaking Dominic Cruz, uh, so that was crazy, Justin Gaethje was there,
he's literally
just, just backstage, just like, who can I fight, who can I fight, who can I
fight, who
can I fight, so that was really magnificent, uh, Thug Rose, I mean, it was just
crazy, just
getting to see all the fighters, John Anik was there, uh, DC, you know, just
getting to
be in that world for a little while, um, Al Jermaine Sterling's, uh, there's
just every,
I mean, and plus all the fighters that were doing the fighting, so it was just,
man, I felt
like I was in a damn, I was just, every, I just felt so, so much possibility,
like I
was in a damn fallopian tube, you know, just damn any, just the world, just,
God, I just
felt like anything was possible, um, yeah, so that was great, obviously, I was
really, you
know, just, I was bummed out, not disappointed, that Dustin didn't get the
victory, but, uh,
but he's a champ, you know, he's a champ, and, um, and he knows it, and it is
what it
is, and there'll be many more battles, and, uh, yeah, and so that was my, I'm
trying to
think of anything else that happened, while I was there, uh, oh, they had one
point where
they got Spade on the, um, TV, where they, like, said, you know, said he's
there, and I
was sitting right next to him, and some, uh, a, a, a woman came over with her
kid to get
a photo, and she's like, will you get a photo with my son, and I got up to get
the photo right
when they were, like, gonna video Spade sitting there, so I kind of missed some
of my audio-visual
time on the, um, show, but, uh, but whatever, man, it was just, dude, it was,
and then you
look, and there's just so many fans, and people are just amped up, people are
beating each other
in the crowd, just fucking, there's, somebody, somebody brought a scale, and
people were, they
were weighing each other in the crowd, like, you weigh 130, you weigh 130, and
people were
just fighting, women against men, senior citizens, against damn fucking, uh,
just cement toddlers,
just everybody, just, just fucking annihilating each other, and, um, and that
was it, man, that
was it.
Hope you enjoyed that video, and you can watch another, and you can watch this
one, you can
watch this one, different options, different choices, some guy just brings you
one option,
not this guy, two options, watch one, this one or this one.