Name: Caller Wants Theo To Impregnate His Wife
Uploaded: 2022-01-05T22:24:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Caller Wants Theo To Impregnate His Wife' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Caller Wants Theo To Impregnate His Wife' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-05. Transcript available.

Theo, man, you have the most, this is Ben from St. Louis, you got the most.
What's up, Ben A., and St. Louis, I don't know, who is St. Louis, actually?
All right.
St. Louis, or Louis IX, commonly known as St. Louis, or Louis the Saint,
was king of France from 1226 to 1270, and the most illustrious of the direct
Capetians.
He was crowned in the Reims at age 12.
There you go.
People, I guess that's who he was, baby.
Louis IX, that's it, from Poissy, France.
Damn.
Well, there you go, baby.
That's it, dog.
If you from Poissy, you must be, you a real G in my book.
That's for sure.
So I'm not shocked he was a saint.
What else do we have?
Oh, it was a call that came in.
My bad.
Let's hear more.
This is Ben from St. Louis.
You've got the most acute baby syndrome in a man I've ever seen.
You were talking to Bryce in that interview, and you compared winning a fight
and the will to win a fight to whether or not a man is going to have children.
You need a baby, Theo, but your life is too busy.
You might be a homosexual.
I don't know.
And you don't have a wife yet.
Well, look, man, I would like to have a baby, okay?
But I can't have a baby with just a penis, brother.
So that's the first part.
If I was homosexual, dog, I would know.
You know what I'm saying?
I've never looked at the back of a man.
I've never looked at the back of a man like that.
If a man, even if I see a man who's painting or doing something and you see
part of his butt
a little, I don't even, you know, I got a buddy and he would, he told me one
time, and this
is, he told me in secrecy, but he's dead.
He said when he would see a man's butt crack, he would imagine nipples on his
butt.
You know, like titty nipples.
And I don't even do that, man.
So if I'm ever thinking about something naked, it's, it's, it's female, but you
never know
if I get hit by lightning or something, you never know.
Or if I, I might, you never know.
You might fall in love with, you could, somebody could come across you that
changes you, changes
your game.
Somebody could come across and you just say, you know what?
Sayonara, bitches.
And you go for it.
So, uh, as of now, I have no inkling to believe that, but you know, if God
wants it, God wants
it, baby.
Let's hear more.
Well, I do.
I propose to you that you impregnate my wife, will raise the child, will agree
upon a price
and you can see him when you want to see him.
St. Louis is pretty close to you.
Five, six hours.
A price.
So now basically you, you trapping me in a, so wait, it's my kid.
I'm pregnant with the wife.
And then, but who pays who?
That'd be my question.
Cause I'm, you know what I'm saying?
I'm running this high dollar root sauce over here.
I'm running this high dollar fricking, uh, this wand, uh, chowder.
So if you out, you know, I got that real, uh, stick venom, baby.
You know what I'm saying?
I could sell, dude, I could sell this.
I could, and my stuff's thick too.
I got that preserves.
So I could, I'm sure I could get a little dollar for this.
So I'm just saying who's paying who, you know, we need a passive source of
passive income.
You need a son, bud.
Okay.
So I'm paying.
You're saying you need a source of passive income.
I need a son, but I'm not keeping my son.
You know, I don't want to have that, you know, the song where you go see him
like he's in
a stable or whatever.
So I appreciate it, man.
You know, I guess, could I impregnate that guy as a wife?
I don't think I could, man.
I mean, I could try, but that's the crazy part.
If she and I meet up at a damn day's end or whatever, and you let me try, and
then it
doesn't happen.
Maybe, maybe I'll do that, dude.
Dude, I'll just meet up and try with her for a couple hours, dude, or even four,
even 50,
even 17 minutes.
So anyway, man, I love you guys, and thank you for the opportunity, man.
Thank you for the opportunity, and I'll let you know if I need some of that.
But yeah, I've been thinking about maybe it would be nice to have a wife.
You know, I need, I'm definitely getting, because my friends are all settling
down.
You know, Andrew Schultz just got married.
Chris D'Elia's married.
Brennan Shaw was married.
I mean, even just the dumbest people I know are married.
So I'm like, if they can do it, I can do it.
Hope you enjoyed that video, and you can watch another.
And you can watch this one, you can watch this one.
Different options, different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option, not this guy.
Two options.
Watch one.
This one or this one.