Name: Theo Von and Trevor Wallace on Young Love
Uploaded: 2022-03-01T18:22:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von and Trevor Wallace on Young Love' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von and Trevor Wallace on Young Love' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-01. Transcript available.

Was there a young thing that you did when you were a child, like in young love,
like some like thing you guys did together, like name?
Oh, bro, I got one.
What is it?
In my old hometown room on the ceiling, there's like those little like neon,
like glow in the dark stars.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
And they're still there.
And they should be.
The best is when they're still there when you're 30, dude.
Oh, bro, I was back over the holidays.
You turn the lights off, smoke a little bit of that kush.
And you look up and you're like, is that motherfucking Orion's belt?
Is that a ceiling fan?
But when I was younger in like sixth grade, I would like name the stars after
the girl's like crushes on.
I'll be like, that's Krista.
And that like, you know, you're listening to me like, it was fucking pussy.
But that like, like there was something about that that I was like, damn.
It brought me.
It was like hearing goodies by Sierra for the first time, every time.
That was one thing that I, that I, that I think I would, that I did, you know,
that's beautiful.
You got anything like that?
I got, there was this girl Chrissy that I was in love.
I don't know if I was in love with her, but she lived close enough for me to be
horny about, which was the same thing.
You know what I'm saying?
But I was in love.
Oh God, I remember just everything about her just, just God made, just, just
made semen want to climb out of my body.
You know?
Seen him want to take a peek.
Oh.
Like a gopher, seeing if his groundhog's there or not.
Oh, you'd hear semen just come up to the top of my tongue and just look out.
You know what I'm saying?
Crawl back down.
Or they go get the homies like, you got to see this shit.
Yeah, well let's ride, homie, let's ride.
And you just thought about her or you, you guys went on something?
I was in love with her.
I was in love with her.
And you went on a couple of dates with her?
We were children.
They didn't have dates.
They didn't have any.
Play date.
Huh?
Play date.
No, no, no, no.
We lived near, there's no play dates in my fucking neighborhood, dude.
People were getting molested.
So.
So I lived in a very suburban town.
Yeah, this was way different, dude.
Play dates, juice boxes.
This guy down the street used to bang this substitute teacher that lived in our
neighborhood, this kid, basically he was 16.
Yeah.
And then he would chase us around in the church, like field, with his car, in
his car, trying to hit us.
That was a date right there.
That was a play date.
Yeah.
So basically this dude was getting molested by an older woman.
And then since we called him out, like, he would try to run over.
He just turned that bitch into Grand Theft Auto.
Just a little bit of GTA real life.
Yeah, there was no play date going on.
Yeah, I feel that.
There was one kid that drooled all the time that we would all kind of spend
time with.
But I think that was more like a cry for help, I think, than anything.
But what was I going to tell you about?
Oh, so.
Oh, but I was in love with this girl, Chrissy, bro.
God.
And I remember she had part of her tooth was chipped out, you know.
She had that little baby Lloyd Christmas on her, you know.
Love it.
And I remember always looking for pieces of rock or shell when I was, like,
outside of the schoolhouse, like when they had all the gravel.
Yeah.
I was trying to find one that would be, like, the first.
The Cinderella story, yeah.
Did you ever find one?
That would be that glass slipper.
Yeah.
I found a couple.
I remember collecting five or six that were pretty close.
Yeah.
Did she take them?
And I showed her one time.
Somebody locked us in a room, like, you guys need to get in there.
You know, just some, you know.
You know, like, even better.
Rocks.
Probably some local 40-year-old.
The same guy driving around in the car.
Bro, there was so many creeps, man.
And did any of them fit or no?
I don't know.
Or did she, like, take any of them?
Or was she, like.
Yeah, I gave them all to her.
Wow.
I think she thought it was sweet.
I would.
I think it's sweet now just hearing about that.
You know.
I'd put it on a Pukashaw necklace.
Oh, yeah.
If I'd have had that ability to make them necklace kits, you know.
Yeah.
That was always, if somebody, if a girl liked somebody, a lot of times they
would get that
necklace kit and put the thing Randy, you know, and spell it out.
Yeah.
And get that thing that breaks it.
We had a dumb one where if you take the inside of, like, an Aquafina water
bottle,
the cap, it's like a plastic, and you, like, you can make the plastic a wristband.
And the weird joke was, like, if they put it on you and it broke, you had to,
like, make out with them.
Oh, really?
So, you were always praying to break.
You, like, tensing up your knuckles.
You sneeze extra hard.
Oh, fuck.
I guess we got to make out and home act.
But, yeah, the inside of an Aquafina cap is, like, a little rubber thing you
can poke out
of the center.
Oh, yeah.
Make a little wristband.
But you see a kid, like, maybe a guy who, like, probably has a couple, like,
misdemeanors
now.
But he would have, like, three wristbands on him growing up.
And you're like, dude, fucking got some puss this morning.
That was, yeah, I feel like growing up was always just a way to flex, you know?
Just, like, having a girl wear your football jersey.
You know, you walk to school with a hickey.
Everybody wore tank tops on hickey day.
We caught two dudes sucking on each other's necks doing fake hickeys on each
other one time
before school.
Yeah.
Damn.
But had they not got caught, those dudes would have fucked that shit.
Then they would have fucked each other.
Hope you enjoyed that video.
And you can watch another.
And you can watch this one.
You can watch this one.
Different options.
Different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option.
Not this guy.
Two options.
Watch one.
This one or this one.