Name: How Bryce Mitchell Would Submit These 3 Deer
Uploaded: 2022-03-05T23:13:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How Bryce Mitchell Would Submit These 3 Deer' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How Bryce Mitchell Would Submit These 3 Deer' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-05. Transcript available.

We got three animals right here, man.
We just wanted to let you know, how would you handle these three situations?
Here's the first one right here.
Bryce famous, put a deer in a twister.
Here's a fellow right here.
Has he been shot?
No.
I would.
This guy's just trying to, I guess, touch hands first.
Oh, shit.
Damn.
Damn, dude.
So, I guess he maybe got a little close to pet him or something.
Yeah, how do you handle that situation?
Whose side are you on there, you think?
First off, he fucked up.
He's right in front of it.
You want to walk up behind it.
That's where you fuck up.
Come up behind it.
I take a knee on belly.
You know, don't give up position.
That's all I got to say, bro.
Like, straight up, like, stay on top when you're talking with them deer, bro.
Because they got that good top game.
Their bottom game is weak.
Right.
You know what I'm saying?
It becomes a positional battle.
And like I said, he should have approached from the back.
From the back.
That's where he fucked up.
But their bottom game, if you're on bottom, there you got those antlers.
That's insane to deal with.
Oh, that was a buck.
Yeah.
That's a different story right there.
But here's what I would have done.
I would have, you know, locked out my arms.
Uh-huh.
I got a little knee on the ribs.
Arms locked out.
Now he's awake.
Yeah.
And then I'm just going to brainstorm for a minute.
I'm going to be honest with you.
I ain't been there.
I ain't been in that one yet.
I'm going to lock him out.
And I'm going to brainstorm for a minute.
Now you're going to grill a little bit open, baby.
Yeah, bro, that fucking, uh, let me tell you what, that rear naked is going to
be hard
with them antlers in the way.
Yeah.
You might have to pull a triangle.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, it's going to get desperate.
Yeah, actually, trying at least you'd have more control.
You'd probably be able to keep him upright enough to keep the antlers away from
you.
If you want to be real fucked up and you can talk about some animal cruelty, go
for armbar.
Bro, then you won because even if, you know, he ain't going nowhere, bro.
Like, if them antlers are in the way, bro, go pull an armbar.
And like I said, I'm all about position, staying on top.
But if you can't sink in that choke and that deer's getting up and you see an
arm, go for
that armbar, brother.
Yeah, and he got four arms, dude.
That's what I'm saying, bro.
Like, he ain't going to, you know, he ain't got no defense, you know.
The best defense is hold your hands together.
Yeah.
What's he going to do?
Yeah.
Damn, that's a risky move.
Here's a second one.
We got three of them for you.
Here's a second one.
Now, this lady got.
That's a good position.
Keep the volume off.
So, that lady got, she got, that lady got, took that, it looks like a doe or
just a female.
Oh, yeah.
She just, she took his back and got him down.
See, what you see here is perfect.
We got situational awareness.
I promise you, this ain't her first go around.
You see that, them hips on that, she's putting them hips on that deer's hips.
She's keeping that low center base, knees spread out.
Bro, I can tell you right now, this ain't her first, first rodeo.
Yeah, this ain't the first deer at the Walmart for this lady.
Nah, bro.
And she's holding that arm.
She's got that arm locked, too.
If you see that, she's got, she's keeping that arm, that deer from getting any.
I'm not even going to comment on this because she's doing far better than I
would have.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, she, that's a clean up on aisle three.
She's going to take it out and it's done with.
I think, yeah, she's already cleaned up.
Let's get that third one, the last one we got here.
She's a perfect technique.
And this one, we can have some audio on.
Oh, no, yeah, this one's fine.
And how do you handle this situation?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Well, right there, I don't see anybody trying to cut off the room.
You know what I'm saying?
I see that guy.
First off, he gets up out of the chair and he's not in a stance.
That's where he fucked up first.
Yeah, that guy.
That's the first thing I do because, you know, there ain't no, that door ain't,
he ain't going
to go out the back door.
You know what I'm saying?
So, first thing I'm doing, see, he's right out the front door, like I said,
because look,
he ain't even got a stance.
First thing I'm doing, brother, I'm getting low in that stance.
Yeah.
I'm going left, right.
You know, he's going to have to go back.
Yeah.
And then I'm going to creep a little bit, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm going to play it out.
I'm going to get in range, too, because, you know, he's going to be doing this
shit, so
I'm going to back up, go away a little bit, maybe slack.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have no footwork there.
You have, how is he going to pursue that here?
You know what I'm saying?
He's flat standing straight up.
Yeah.
Completely unprepared.
I wish I grew up in Walmart.
Oh, yeah, you really do.
That's who you wish was getting her hair cut.
But people completely unexpecting this shit, bro.
Like, they've got to be ready.
You've got to be ready at all times.
But that's true, man.
I think you have to take a little bit of position there, for sure.
Absolutely.
I think that guy didn't want the smoke.
He kind of wandered over there.
He ain't never had some good deer jerky.
Yeah, he never had some.
If he had some good deer jerky, he'd be like, all right, I'm going to cook you
up, buddy.
We're not letting this thing leave.
That's right.
Hope you enjoyed that video, and you can watch another.
And you can watch this one, you can watch this one.
Different options, different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option, not this guy.
Two options.
Watch one.
This one or this one.