Name: Bryce Mitchell Buys The Perfect Truck
Uploaded: 2022-03-07T23:43:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bryce Mitchell Buys The Perfect Truck' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bryce Mitchell Buys The Perfect Truck' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-07. Transcript available.

you said you were driving about three hours or so to go get a truck and i just
wanted to know how
that went did you buy it and how's that truck working out for you is it hauling
them cows
around as well as it needs to be either way i'd love to hear from you best of
luck against edson
barboza and that's a real dude right yeah that's a real guy he's in man that
guy's in
what'd you get a ford f350 oh it's a 91 bro it's it's like a little redneck
paradise bro it's like
it has no key on it it's like a push start and then yeah it's like he rigged up
all the wires he
rigged up a push start in it brake lights yeah it's a push start and you have
to use a screwdriver to
flip a switch well on the way home what i didn't know on the back of the push
start is like
he literally rigged it up like on the spot where if you touch the positive and
the negative i let it
hit the clutch and broke spark and blew a fuse i have to jump the solenoid so
on the way home i
fucking uh blew a fuse on the way home and then we had to we had to jump it on
the solenoid just to
get it just to get it started so me and my buddy would think it was a lemon at
that point or what
oh i knew it was good bro when i heard that engine yeah brother that 91 uh 7.3
like i said make you
hard son oh i don't make your cousin hard my cousin's been dead for years dude
well you'll see the soil on
his grave that's right you'll see a fluff a little bro that uh that 7.3 is an
iconic engine
wow and let me just tell you right now i don't care if you're ford guy chevy
guy dodge guy i don't
even care if you like fucking the honda trucks i don't care you cannot talk
shit about a cummins
diesel engine and you cannot talk shit about a 7.3 engine uh i think
international harvester might
actually make the engine at one point they did i did some research on it but um
the thing about
what i've got on a 91 um from from i think 91 to 94 they did the idis and that's
what i got okay
here's why i like it this is why this truck was made for me brother well first
off it was 3 800 bucks
it's in my fucking price range you know that's what i'm saying it's in a price
mitchell they call
that's price hey the price is right mitchell bro that would be a good store the
price is right
price you'd be so much better than bob barker on that show man if there's ever
a price is right
you're the motherfucking host i'd be giving away damn owl meat on that bitch
dude show wouldn't
even last episode you'd be giving away everything i'd give half them bitches
away on there too dude
that's right i'd say we got to get rid of some of these bitches over here man
so that the idi engine
uh it's different than these modern power strokes uh the power stroke is uh
they're both great engines
uh ford engines but this idi is mechanical in nature so it doesn't have as much
computer
uh parts and so that's what i love about it i fucking cannot stand all this
cheap electronic
shit and let me tell you it's it ruins everything and it is to the level where
it is a conspiracy
if you don't think that they're making these cars to break at a certain point
or making it more
expensive for certain parts you're fucking blind bro because that's what the
industry the cars from
the 90s with the manual transmissions and the simple engines last longer and
are easier to fix
than these newer ones they're doing that because they want you in the dealership
yeah and uh they
don't like i got the best mechanic in the fucking world that lives like right
down the road from me
his name's paul underwood and uh let me tell you what i guarantee you mr paul
could fix anything on
that 7.3 idi right you know and he could probably fix a power stroke too but
there's going to be some
computer yeah something you can't that's out of your control but it's just like
okay you're gonna have
to order this cheap ass part from some just to get the shit to work yeah and by
now they know how long
you're gonna use a car it's just so many things it's a conspiracy bro like it's
it's called uh if
you want to look into it's called planned obsolescence it's been going on
really since
the beginning of time it's not a conspiracy bro but like when it first started
getting popular there's
one instance of it in germany there was a uh people who made t-shirts i believe
maybe t-shirts or jeans
but they started using nylon well bro nobody they didn't have any return
customers because the
fucking t-shirts and jeans was lasting damn forever it's like they sell a pair
of jeans and you never
see that motherfucker again so they had to start making shitty jeans but bro
that's in every single
industry that there is and it's to certain degrees but in the car industry you
see so much planned
obsolescence these pieces of shit especially nissans with their cbt transmissions
uh you know
fucking nissan damn but um i wouldn't even come in one of them but here's it
exactly well i beg to
differ on that one that's the one complaint i don't get bro but uh let me tell
you what them
headlights for example you get you one of these nissan 2006 uh maximus this is
the planned obsolescence
that i'm talking about to certain degrees okay you fix your you break your headlight
guess how much
that fucking new one costs probably 250 150 yeah damn bro it's a fucking headlight
they can make
that for three dollars yeah you know i'm saying so they get you and they do
that with their transmissions
they do with their engine not this ford engine not this 7.3 idi it's a real
engine made for real
farmers who really work for their real money yeah and don't want to spend it on
no fake shit you know
and that truck is is me personified and uh the only thing i got to do is got to
add a little uh one of
those uh gooseneck balls on the back of it you know that mounts right there in
a truck bed
uh-uh oh for uh for pulling that heavy weight and cattle oh really and hay yeah
so what you'll it's for it's for the transmission no well it's it's um so you
can actually pull that
weight if you you know the the balls that hang off the back like a regular like
on the you'll see it
there in that truck you see i got a little two inch ball i got a three-way
right right on the back of it not the kind you like but yeah the kind with uh
you know
the kind with three different uh hitches on it yeah yeah well that sticks off
the back of the truck
okay okay when you mount one of these uh gooseneck or fifth wheel um hitches
you got to do it from
the inside from the truck bed and so that distributes to where all that weight
ain't on the
it puts more of it up front so your your truck and more of the weight goes to
the trailer
and so now you can pull uh 32 000 pounds bro like i'm i'm gonna be pulling some
shit you know
damn oh yeah so i gotta get that i gotta fix my brake lights i gotta rig it up
to where i'm not
jumping a solenoid every time i start it oh it's got a little bit of ash on the
seats i can tell this
dude he had a swisher when i pull out the little cup holder thing he had a swisher
in it i'm like
bro i ain't even tripping i just wish i was here for that one you know what i'm
saying but bro it's
so cool like it's an old school manual and by the way you don't ever see these
manuals that's how you
know they're they're trying to make these vehicles to break now you can't even
hardly find a fucking
truck with a manual i would never i would never buy another vehicle that's not
a manual unless if
something crazy happens and i get some good deal or something you know but um
you know this thing is
like you put it in the first bro and like you don't even just let off the
clutch man like it's gonna
go it's not gonna die yeah you know it's got so much power like i'm not even
touching the gas
you just put it in first and it just creeps yeah it is nice when you get into
something that feels
like it has a life of its own bro it does man it's got two gas tanks on it you
switch it but one of
them don't read so you just kind of like have to you are the gas gauge you know
what i'm saying
bro that's fire dude that's old school not even knowing how much gas is in that
bitch i just know
what was meant for me bro it's like it's perfect hope you enjoyed that video
and you can watch another
and you can watch this one you can watch this one different options different
choices some guy
just brings you one option not this guy two options watch one this one or this
one