Name: My Life Falls Apart With Daylight Savings
Uploaded: 2022-03-13T23:36:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'My Life Falls Apart With Daylight Savings' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'My Life Falls Apart With Daylight Savings' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-13. Transcript available.

It's daylight savings time, man. Did you feel that? What a friggin' speed bump
that is, huh?
You know, you got regular life going on, everything's chill.
You know, maybe you and the lady got a plan to do a little, you know, do a
little dirty game, a close freeze tag with each other.
A little frickin' bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
And then suddenly you realize, I got one less hour of sleep comin' at me.
And for me, man, my entire world falls apart.
Everything fell apart. I went and bought cigarettes.
I bought one of them things of, you know, them six, those puddin' packs, them
snack packs they got?
I bought one of them chocolatey hitters, bruh.
One of them six-pack of chocolatey, you know, Jell-O children's snack packs.
And so I'm cracking into those and, you know, blowing Winstons.
And I'm just going through it all.
And now I'm so angry.
Here, the crazy thing was I was so angry that I'm losing, that I'm not going to
get an hour of sleep,
that now I'm too angry to go to sleep.
So I was just, oh.
And then here's what I'll do.
I'll get angry and I'll be like, oh, I'm, oh, okay, world.
Okay, world, you're going to take away an hour of sleep?
Guess what?
I'm not going to brush my teeth tonight.
That's this weird game that goes on in my head, you know.
Like, okay, universe.
You don't want daddy to get that extra big 60 of nighty night night?
Then I'm not going to brush my teeth.
You'll see how I'm going to wake up.
I'm going to wake up straight up just spraying that Grim Reaper heat right at
people's eyeballs.
But that's what, that's, you know, like the world gives a fuck that I'm going
to do that.
The world doesn't care, bro.
Go to bed, you idiot.
But not me.
Not me, man.
I got to, you know, I got to, I got to get angry and get crooked.
So then I'm bent out.
Now I'm bent out and I'm, you know, I've smoked nine Winstons and blew through
five of them kitty snackers.
And now I'm a creep.
Now I'm a, you know, now the neighbors are, you know, and they have these
people who have a balcony that's kind of over from mine on the third floor and
they always look down on me.
And it's weird because since they do like physically look down on me, it feels
like they also look down on me, you know, emotionally.
And, you know, subjectively, I think.
I don't know if those are the right two words to use there.
But guess what?
You know what I'm talking about, you know?
So let's don't get each other on each other's backs about all these words.
But I feel like they look down on me.
And last night, man, the lady caught me, man.
And the lady caught me out there just leaking with emotion, just bent out, you
know, just freaking just, just heavy huffing these Winstons, these Winston
cigarettes.
And blowing through them that chocolatey six.
So, yeah, I mean, I don't, you know, I don't fare well with change, obviously.
You know, up front, I don't.
But in the end, I know it's what's best.
You know, I know change is always the best, man.
I know it's scary, but, you know, change is scary.
But I think it's always the best.
You know, I was thinking about, because, you know, this morning I got up.
I didn't even get up until probably 1130.
You know, because I didn't even get to bed until probably 340.
You know, in sheer fury.
And I didn't brush my teeth.
You know, even though it just affects me when I do that shit.
But whatever, bro.
When I was young, people in my town for daylight saving time, people, some
people didn't know what it was.
You know, in my neighborhood, bro, they had some real, they had people fucking,
you know, definitely a lot of people sharing ideas.
Like, if you wanted an idea, you better go down the street and borrow it from
somebody.
You know, a lot of people weren't coming up with their own thoughts in my
neighborhood.
And I remember this one dude, furious, bro.
He might have been on some uppers.
He might have been drinking out of a car battery.
I don't know.
You know, because they had these dudes for a while.
They would empty out a car battery, and then they would put a beer in there and
then drink it out of the battery.
So you get a little bit of that hit of that battery acid with also with your
beverage.
You know, and these people were just, you know, they were just losing steam,
man.
They were just starting to fall off the bone.
You know, because something was getting wrong with them because of some of that
battery acid.
And this one dude, I remember daylight savings time, came outside, shotgun,
just started shooting at the sun.
You know, fuck this.
Fuck this.
Shooting at the sun, dude.
Furious, bro.
I couldn't figure it out, you know.
Saying he'd been cheated and all this shit.
So you never know.
You never know what you're going to get out there, man.
You know, and I told him, I said, straight up, man, everybody loses the hour.
That ain't just you, boy.
You know, you get off your own ego because everybody loses the damn hour.
It's not like you're fucking living in the future all of a sudden or in the
past.
You fucking muppet.
Get it together.
Everybody loses the hour.
Hope you enjoyed that video and you can watch another.
And you can watch this one, you can watch this one.
Different options, different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option, not this guy.
Two options.
Watch one.
This one or this one.