Name: Utah Mom Sells 4,000 Ounces of Breast Milk
Uploaded: 2022-05-18T03:24:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Utah Mom Sells 4,000 Ounces of Breast Milk' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Utah Mom Sells 4,000 Ounces of Breast Milk' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-18. Transcript available.

Utah mom's selling almost 4,000 ounces of breast milk as baby formula shortage
continues.
This happened in Utah.
Alyssa Chitty has three freezers full of breast milk.
And look, that's where we are now.
That's what, I mean, I'm telling you, we are getting to a place where you can't
count on these big companies anymore.
They're all in lawsuits.
They don't know any, they're too disconnected from the customer.
So people going right off the bag now.
We got piss milkshakes.
We got fresh from, I mean, that is just from firm to table, baby, right there.
If you go, people going door to door shooting each other for breast milk, titty
milk.
Men are trying to do, you see a lot of gay men trying to,
and they don't even have kids.
They're just trying to do ejaculate out of their nipples.
Just crazy.
It's getting weird, man.
And ladies, if you got that strong Hooter, baby, juice it out.
Juice it out, son.
Especially Utah.
You up at that high elevation.
So if you don't think you could sell that high elevation freaking B-skuit, baby,
you know what I'm talking about.
Bras milk.
If you don't think you could sell that for a decent dollar, baby, then you're
wrong, honey.
If you're sitting around just doing Wordle all day and you got them freaking
forest lumps, baby.
Them damn fucking leche furnaces just brewing.
You know, women are always like, I want to open up a business.
But you got two businesses right there.
You got them freaking little sternum corporations, baby.
Juice them out.
Juice them bitches out.
I'll buy a hot gram of breast milk off of somebody.
And especially, this is basic white Utah breast milk, man.
That's just a basic homogenized shit.
You get into there, you get a nice urban lady out there.
She got those extra red blood cells up in the milk.
Or you get a Native American lady and she got them, you know what I'm saying?
She got the forefathers in the milk.
You know what I'm saying?
You could really, there's definitely a way to, what's that called?
It's a business thing.
Verticals.
They call it verticals.
Other ways you can make money on it.
But yeah, if you, yeah.
So there's way, I mean, there's definitely some upsells in there.
You know, if you want that, if you want that extra breast milk, you want that
extra half ounce.
Or you get that daytime milk or you want that night batch.
Now, a lot of ladies don't realize if you're slinging breast milk on the
internet.
Then you can also slang that night batch.
You know?
That, if you want to sell that nocturnal freaking, that nocturnal nipple
beverage, baby.
You know what I'm talking about?
Titty milk.
Titty milk.
We had this kid in our neighborhood.
He couldn't talk much, but he could say, titty milk.
I want some titty milk.
Titty milk.
Titty milk.
And we'd always be like, what do you want?
And he'd be like, titty milk.
Titty milk.
So anyway, there's definitely a big market out there for it.
Because look, we're all becoming babies anyway.
You know, I'm an adult, baby.
Half my friends are.
Everybody I know.
Damn, I would look.
If I hit a vending machine and nobody was looking.
Titty milk.
I'd have me a little.
Hope you enjoyed that video.
And you can watch another.
And you can watch this one.
You can watch this one.
Different options.
Different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option.
Not this guy.
Two options.
Watch one.
This one or this one.