Name: Nick Swardson Almost Died at the Denver Airport
Uploaded: 2022-09-01T17:26:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nick Swardson Almost Died at the Denver Airport' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nick Swardson Almost Died at the Denver Airport' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-01. Transcript available.

I almost died yeah and I didn't know this for people that don't know I almost
died I was in
the hospital in Denver and I was there for three and a half weeks and there's
people that have
quadruple bypass surgeries that are in and out in four days and I was there for
three and a half
weeks and the doctor told me I had a 10 chance of living and then when I got
out and I got better
they had lied to me I was supposed to be dead so my family flew in to say
goodbye to me no and
they told me that you have a 10 chance and then my sister was like yeah they
lied that you were
gonna you were supposed to die so that's a trip dude when you experience
something like that and
then you come back to life essentially it just changes your whole fucking ste
mindset because
you're just like oh I'm like now living on borrowed time that's how I see it so
how long once that
happened because what you got taken were you at a place and collapsed it's
something like what was
what happened I flew into Denver I got sick at my hotel Minneapolis and then I
was like whatever I'm
used to that I was throwing up like bile then I got on the plane drank on the
plane threw up into my
carry-on so then I got off the plane I'm like shit so then I hadn't eaten or
anything so I ate like
you've been were you drinking I just kept drinking but I kept vomiting and it
was more and more painful
and I had a pain in my stump but I had a pain that was different it was like
pain like fire pain yeah and
I kept trying to drink through it and then I'm like oh this no something's
horribly wrong and I went to the
medic at the airport and they're like oh you need an ambulance medic at the
airport well yeah they have
like somebody you know what I mean I'm like hey something's wrong wait was it
that express spa or
whatever that uh no it wasn't like a massage chair I didn't sit there and like
no I grabbed a human
okay at a ticket counter I'm like hey I something's wrong and the guy looked at
me and he goes oh you
need an ambulance they called me an ambulance and I went to the fucking you got
ambulance out of the
airport yeah where does it pick up at departures or arrivals I don't remember
but I think I think it was
departures because they thought I was going to heaven oh damn yeah Jesus was my
pilot he was like
and did you have a beer at the airport I was drinking vodka and I just kept
going and throwing
it up and I'm like okay this is I can't get through this I drank a Gatorade
threw it up I had a like
a banana some kind of food you were puking up bile what's after bile um more
bile and then blood yeah and
then blood so then then it was blood at the hospital it was fucking gnarly dude
it was like it was I'll
never forget then I I don't even remember a whole week they were telling me
about what I was doing
and the nurse was like yeah you're like throwing haymakers trying to throw like
you're watching
wrestling on your computer my brain bad yeah it was crazy but there's pictures
of it there's pictures
of me with like they had to like put mittens on my hands you wouldn't drink
yeah no so I wouldn't
pull the ivs out and really yeah it was fucking bonkers so you were you went I
mean you went crazy
yeah essentially like I totally lost my shit and the altitude was a big factor
in that what
fuck no it wasn't dude I love how like you tell these crazy stories you're like
I drank 70 drinks
again yeah you're like but there were some Raiders fans there and that's kind
of the thing
that made things strange man yeah no I drank a gallon of house paint but you
know there was a
drizzle there was a drizzle outside yeah it was yeah it was a cloud it was
cloudy but yeah I didn't plan
on like that happening so do you think you could because you could if you
because you probably I mean
at that point you get cirrhosis bad things happen to your body yeah I mean I
came really close but I
didn't I mean I'm fine now I mean obviously like did they say you can drink
again or you can't drink
again well it was the doctor goes if you have another drink you're gonna die so
I was like well
that doesn't make sense but I'm like okay so then I rehabbed and then got you
know better and I got
really healthy and then I went and got a checkup three months after and the
doctor was like oh yeah a
different doctor back in LA and he's like yeah you're fine everything's fine
and I'm like what
and he goes yeah it's all yeah everything's back your liver's back I mean I was
like really your
liver's back hard well your liver can rebound yeah I mean you can get to a
point where it can't
where I've had a handful of friends where that's happened to but I mean you can
push it and then
you've got to really dry out so I did it was vitamins and fucking milk thistle
everything just built
back up and then I still wait another six months and then COVID hit and
quarantine I went to Key West
and I'm like you know what I'm just gonna it doesn't make sense so I had a
cocktail and then I was
that was fine and then I drank again yeah I just want you to be okay which
sounds dumb I'm sure
people like you're a fucking idiot but I didn't drink like I was drinking very
rogue I mean I was just
boom shots and just completely stupid wow but now I'll like you know I can have
a cocktail I can
do stuff like that but you do have to be really careful do you think you can
have a cocktail yeah
I did I told you I had like a cocktail when I wrapped this movie buddy games
part two hard hour yeah so
we celebrated I had a cocktail and it was fine so yeah it is interesting you
know with the levels of
you know what people can do because some people can't they have one drink and
then they wake up in a
fucking prison and I know but that sounds most your stories sound like that you
know I know
but I'm I don't know somehow I've made a knock on oh you're a fucking yeah I
mean you're resist you're
like yeah you're like the ghost of Fuddruckers past I am dude you keep going
the ghost of future chilies
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