Name: Theo Reacts to Caller Who Slept With His Cousin
Uploaded: 2022-10-19T20:22:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Reacts to Caller Who Slept With His Cousin' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Reacts to Caller Who Slept With His Cousin' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-19. Transcript available.

My name is Hector. Love the show. Just wanted to tell you a quick story and get
your opinion on it.
What happened, Hector?
Let's hear more.
I went to a family reunion recently and there's this email that I've never met.
I wasn't aware she was kin until later on. We ended up talking and we hit it
off and everything.
And then we went out on a couple of dates, ended up hitting it.
And then come to find out my mom told me she's one of my second cousins.
And I'm just kind of, I don't know what to think about myself, kind of.
I don't feel bad because I didn't know her, but I also don't want to enjoy it
because she's kin.
So let me know what you think about that, man.
Well, brother, I think this is actually a great call that some listeners can
give feedback to, you know.
I think there's like a rule of thumb when it comes to incest, you know.
And I don't know what it is, though. What's the rule of thumb?
Can you Google that, please? What's the rule of thumb with incest?
Yeah, I can Google that.
Are you talking about like what's legal?
Because I know some states' second cousin is legal.
Well, I'm pretty sure that first, I believe first cousin is legal.
No, no.
Second cousin.
I mean, I think it depends on what browser you're using then because they, 24
states prohibit marriages between first cousins.
So I'm going to go out on a limb, you know, or is, uh, yeah, I'm going to go
out on a limb here.
Okay.
Here we go.
Cousin, marriage, legal.
I'll tell you where it's legal.
Texas.
California, huh?
Colorado.
New Mexico, Alaska, Hawaii.
Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, Florida, New York.
Wow.
That's a really cross.
I mean, that crosses like political lines and everything.
My, my thing is this, man.
Here's how you know if you shouldn't have sex with a sibling, well, not a
sibling, but a, someone who's at, well, first of all, you're at a family
reunion, bro.
Maybe not a good place to even consider sex.
You know, I don't know if you need to, you need to wear a sign or something, a
family reunion, or what do you, I mean, like, if you walk into a family reunion,
you shouldn't walk out of there with some chick's number, bro.
That's crazy, bro.
You are, I mean, you're a good guy, but you also seem like you could have some
sexual predator issues.
You know, and I'm not judging you, but I'm just saying, every, everybody else
is gonna.
And if you, man, you can't, if you, like, what am I, what, what are we saying
here, Zach?
I mean, that was my point, is if you're going to a family reunion, like, what
are you, was it a mistake?
Yeah.
I mean, how many people were at the, I didn't have a family reunion.
It's a Mexican family reunion, dude.
There could be, it's at a park, I'm sure there could be, upwards of two to six
thousand people there.
I mean, there's anybody getting off a bus in LA will probably stop.
I mean, it's, I'm sure that some of the, I'm sure there's a lot of vague
paperwork at the reunion, is all I'm saying.
Which is fine, Feliz Navidad, baby, you know what I'm saying, but I'm sure, I
understand, I think how it could happen maybe a little bit more.
If, if there's a lot of people at the reunion, and Mexican people like to hang
out at the park, man.
That shit is no joke, everybody knows it, that's, they're like a, that's part
of their culture.
So, what, what does he want to know here, you think?
I think he's just wondering if he should feel bad about it or not.
Okay.
Um, look, I think it's good you're reaching out to people, cause you don't know,
you know, what some of the laws or bylaws are, regarding, you know, familial
sexual contact.
And, uh, look, I've seen people have sex that should not be having sex.
And I've seen the children of that.
And that's where God really throws his two cents in.
When that baby rolls out and you're like, damn, you know, this thing's got, you
know, little extra spine on it or something, you know, things got, you know,
things got an extra, you know, it's got an extra thumb near his ass or whatever,
you know what I'm saying?
Like, that's when you know, like, damn, it's, but, you know, this little buckaroo's
got four rows of teeth, you know, and two of them's on his butthole.
You know what I'm saying?
That's when you're like, oh, damn, shouldn't have done that.
So I think, you know, there's a general rule of thumb where I'm from, you got
to walk at least 300 feet before you pull your dick out.
And I think that's a good rule to keep anybody off of incest or anything like
that.
Also, whenever you're about to pull your wiener out, say, get away from me and
then name everybody in your family.
And so that way you would make sure you didn't have sex with somebody you
shouldn't be.
So the second you break it out, get away from me, Timothy, get away from me,
mom, Rhonda, Papa, Christy, you know, Emmanuel, whatever, whoever is, then that
way you're setting yourself up for the best.
But good luck out there, man.
Yeah, don't.
Yeah.
You know not to have sex at a family reunion, man.
You know it.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm kind of pea footing around it here.
You know it.
You know it, man.
I mean, I don't know what's going on in the world where you have to call in
that people are doing sex with family.
I mean, how many years we have to learn this rule?
How many times do we have to learn this rule as a society that you can't have
sex with a member of your family?
Because it isn't safe genetically, bub.
You're going to give birth to a fucking hot air balloon with legs, dog.
You're going to give birth to something that's going to live in a lava lamp, bub.
And God don't want that.
And you don't want that.
You don't want to babysit a lava lamp.
You don't want somebody wheeling your kid across and he's, you know, you know,
and he just got a little lava in him.
And he can barely make the lava to say the words dad at maybe once a year.
You don't want that.
Hope you enjoyed that video.
And you can watch another.
And you can watch this one.
You can watch this one.
Different options, different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option.
Not this guy.
Two options.
Watch one.
This one or this one.