Name: Guy Asks Theo If He Should Stay With His Girlfriend Before She Goes To Prison
Uploaded: 2022-11-26T21:49:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Guy Asks Theo If He Should Stay With His Girlfriend Before She Goes To Prison' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Guy Asks Theo If He Should Stay With His Girlfriend Before She Goes To Prison' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-26. Transcript available.

Me and my fiance, we've been together for about six months, seven months.
And, well, she has some court dates coming up, and she's facing some time.
She's facing about eight years.
Now, I don't know if I should – I mean, I really don't know what I should do.
Should I break it off before she goes, or should I wait for her for eight years,
or what should I do, man?
I mean, I really, really love her.
She's a really good woman, and we have a lot of good times together, man.
But, you know, I'm a man, and not only because I have needs, because it's not
even about that.
It's just about the – you know, I mean, that's a long time to wait.
I mean, she might not do a full eight, but she'll probably do, I don't know,
maybe two, three, four, five years.
Bang, baby.
Gang, baby.
Crime, you know?
And this is a crime call, you know?
And this is where hopefully she got with Morgan and Morgan over there.
They do good attorney work.
I don't know who she got getting her the years or getting out of them or
whatever.
But I'll say this, man.
First of all, how the times have changed.
This is a call you would hear during World War, World War I, World War II,
World War III.
When people, when wives, their husband going off to military or they're in a
POW camp, what do I do?
They'd call in, you know, on the ring phone and the – you know, what do I do?
Do I wait for Andy?
Do I wait for Ricardo?
I mean, look, it depends on what type of life you want to lead.
There's something beautiful about waiting for someone.
There's something romantic about it.
There's something really perfect about it.
Because you get to keep them in this space in your head where they're perfect.
They can't really do any wrong because they don't have to.
It's almost – sometimes waiting for somebody can be a sense of control.
I'm going to wait for you.
But really what I'm doing, not all the time, but really what I'm doing is I'm
going to say I'm going to keep this in a perfect place where it's manageable
because I don't really have to interact with it.
It's almost like something I can just keep on the shelf right here.
I can communicate with it when I need to.
I can get what I need from it.
In some ways, I have somebody to care about, but I don't physically have to
have them there.
I'm not saying you're doing that.
I'm saying I've done that in my life in relationships.
But damn, dude.
But then also, you're going to have to do them conjugal visits or whatever.
Or you're going to have to sneak over there at night and just Andy Dufresne
your wiener through that chain link fence.
And let your girl, let Molly or whatever her name is over there, knob you off
over there before the spotlight hits you.
Because I can't ejaculate under a sheer spotlight.
Anything over probably 120 watts, buddy, I can't come, you know?
And that's who I am.
But if there's a strong, you know, if I'm getting an HJ and a boat pulls up or
something, you know, or...
Or if damn, even two coal miners walk up while I'm getting a handy, bro.
I can't...
I can't ejac around more than probably about 120 watts of straight light.
So...
But that's me.
You know, that's me.
And I think it's brave.
Now then, how far do you want to go?
Do you want to make her stuff and mail her things?
Do you want to have an apron also?
Because I'm sure there's a whole club of men...
Men who love prison women.
Let me look it up.
Men who love prison women.
Let me see.
Husbands of imprisoned women.
They killed their husbands and now in prison.
That's not you, man, because you're calling in.
I don't know.
I'd get it.
You know, I'm sure you could get some information about this.
But look, I think it's admirable of you.
You know, men used to go off to war and the women would wait for him.
You know?
And I think if your baby bird's over there in prison.
You know?
And you can keep your seed in the feeder.
Then yeah, you can wait until she gets out.
You know?
And then also, you may be able to set up a situation with her where you say,
Look, I'm going to date.
I love you.
And this is, I'm going to date you while you're there.
So then at least you also can be honest with her in case you want to date
outside of there.
Or you give yourself the opportunity to still fall in love.
You know?
Because then you don't want to have a thing, I don't think, where you're
cheating and having to lie about it.
That's when you're skating on dirty ice, baby.
But praise, brother.
I hope you, you know, I think it's really kind of you to even think about that.
And I think it shows some awareness for who you are as a person.
And I think as long as you're honest with her about what you're thinking, bro,
that's really going to be nice.
You know?
And so bless you, man.
And good luck over there.
Hope you enjoyed that video.
And you can watch another.
And you can watch this one.
You can watch this one.
Different options.
Different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option.
Not this guy.
Two options.
Watch one.
This one or this one.