Name: Theo Can't Help This Caller
Uploaded: 2022-11-29T04:20:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Can't Help This Caller' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Can't Help This Caller' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-29. Transcript available.

we had some panda express the night before and i'm i'm just getting to know her
you know a couple
dates and uh everything was good you know in in the night and i wake up in the
morning for work
i'm like man i gotta i gotta relieve this pressure in my bowels but i'm late
for work i don't know
this girl that way i don't do that to her bathroom so i leave and i get about
halfway to my car and
i'm like yeah this was a mistake um i don't know what to do now i'm looking
around for a shrub or
whatever we're wearing a shrub what are you in zelda or something onward
apartment complex so there's
there's not much cover to get around so i'm thinking man i just gotta i gotta
do it right
here by my door so i'm looking around while i'm looking around about to do it
she comes walking
out on the on the like on the deck or whatever you know waving my phone at me
hey you left your
phone dummy so i'm like fuck i start walking over there and i get about halfway
through i'm like
shit throw it down throw the phone down to me i don't want to walk up upstairs
throw it down no just
come up here silly i'm like no fucking throw the phone down there's nothing
worse than when someone
calls you silly when you have to shit there's not it's like do you there is
nothing silly about me lady
i am going through i am reenacting that movie 300 right now in my pants and you
know you're
fucking calling me oh hey silly you don't want your food i will fucking shit
one of your windows open
okay onward as i'm you know yelling at her i'm not going up these steps i'm
just seeping seepage
coming out she comes down finally gives me a hug gives me my phone bro is there
bro if you let
somebody hug you while you have shit yourself dude you you sir are messed up
man you're a messed up
dude bro and i don't say that kind of stuff to people a lot but that's insane
man letting somebody
hug you while you've shit on yourself let that write that down and then read it
a couple times
jesus when i turn around and i'm sure she saw those skid marks yep
i look
i think it's your issue bub that's what i think i think you gotta i don't know
what you gotta do man
i got no suggestion for you bro dear god oh
oh i can't now it just makes me scared to hug anybody and you're doing that to
people dude
hope you enjoyed that video and you can watch another and you can watch this
one you can watch this one
different options different choices some guy just brings you one option not
this guy two options
watch one this one or this one
Thank you.