Name: Why am I so hard on myself?
Uploaded: 2022-12-05T01:29:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Why am I so hard on myself?' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Why am I so hard on myself?' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-05. Transcript available.

if someone else spoke to me the way that i speak to myself you know i'd have to
kill that son of a
bitch because you know i couldn't tolerate that i don't know why we're just so
mean to ourselves
man you know i get i don't know why i get so addicted to things you know i'm
even addicted
to damn nasal spray you know that's about the hardest thing i've had to kick to
be honest with
you man i appreciate your honesty here uh yeah look i had a non-addictive i had
a non-addictive
nasal spray that i had for a while that um i sometimes i pull up if i was going
to a bar
or something i'd do a hit in each nose before i go in it didn't even do
anything to me it gave me a
little bit of a flashback of probably doing a drug or something you know and
just kind of heighten my
senses in a weird way or um but yeah man i i'm sorry that you are so mean to
yourself
you know and i don't mean that as a reflection of who uh you are because i know
like me you don't
want to be you know you don't want to be um but if you're like us you have some
of this that we have
this ism this alcoholism this this uncomfort it's really an uncomfort that just
lives in us
um yeah you're you're probably gonna be real hard on yourself
you know i think i was always extremely hard people that's the number one note
people have
given me now you're so hard on yourself
and i think i used to think that if i wasn't hard on myself
then nobody was let me think about this if i wasn't hard on myself
because when i was young nobody was anything on me you know
and so i realized i thought maybe if i was hard on myself or maybe if i was
perfect
you know i used to think i realized this the other day i used to think that uh
well i expected myself to be perfect so then i would never was because it's
impossible so then
therefore i'm so hard on myself you know because i thought that i i wasn't
cared for as a child and i'm not trying to self-pity i'm just looking at what
was a part of my life
that i wasn't cared for as a child so therefore i took it on myself oh if i was
better if i was perfect
then i would be loved you know i'm not perfect enough i'm not good enough you
know i'm not good
enough for my mother to see me i'm not good enough um for my father to stay
alive i had this epiphany
not long ago that i thought that if i was better if i was perfect if i did
everything right as a kid
i thought this i didn't know until just recently that i thought it but it came
up
that if i did everything right that my father would stay alive
that's what i thought for some reason as a kid i you know nobody explained to
me what was going
on or how things worked or that dad was getting you know i just knew my dad was
older and that he was
not going to be alive for a long time and as a child i thought maybe if i'm
perfect
if i'm perfect you know that my life would be different
you know and more specifically that my dad would stay alive i thought that i
don't know how i came
up with that or what made me think that as a kid but at least then it gave me
some control over what
how or what was going to happen
because now it's some of it's something it's up to me you know even though it's
not realistic it's
impossible for that to come to fruition but it's up to me then so that's why i
think i was so hard on
myself a lot of times i think because then at least it it puts it on me
which was the only thing that i felt i could try and rely on anyway
because i didn't feel comfortable in the world um and that's not some down i'm
not trying to down
or anybody uh but i thought about that let's hear more brother thanks for the
call yeah that's enough
for me man i just wanted to tell you thanks and that you want to learn man you
know there's a ton
of days where your podcast was the only time i smiled that day so keep doing
lord's work man take
care of yourself again thanks bro you too man you know i'm proud of you dude it's
hard
uh you know um i'm proud of you
i'm proud of you because i know how hard it is to take care of ourselves
you know i know how hard it is to take care of ourselves i know that um
for me uh i never wanted to take care of myself because if i took care of
myself then uh
then i was doing somebody else's job instead i wanted to show i just always
wanted to show you
how much i was hurting you know um and so starting to take care of myself was
doing the opposite of that
and it was the opposite of the whole thing that i never like oh you're gonna
see when you look at
me you're gonna see how much i hurt you know um and starting to take care of
myself as a total opposite
of that so uh i hear that in you today and i'm i'm thankful for that man i
really am and i'm grateful
that i have moments like this these are moments that mean something to me you
know two guys being trying to be
honest and not even being gay and just being honest um because these are
moments i never had as a child
i never had there was never any peace in my house there was never a chance for
anybody even to listen
or to be heard there was never even any piece of space to think or to feel
there was no space for that
and uh and so it's moments like this you know i where i can have an honest
conversation with somebody
i'd have given anything if you know to have these as a child and children need
these sort of things
um so anyway bro yeah enough fucking enough of that for me too bro but praise
man i'm happy for you
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