Name: Stop Waiting for Things to Be Perfect
Uploaded: 2022-12-21T21:09:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stop Waiting for Things to Be Perfect' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stop Waiting for Things to Be Perfect' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-21. Transcript available.

I want everything to be perfect before something happens.
That's how I am.
I want everything to be, look, as soon as everything gets all lined up, gets
all perfect, then this will happen.
And by doing that, I'm not really giving, I'm not really giving the Lord a
chance to tickle me.
You know, I'm not really giving, stay with me.
I'm not, by saying, okay, I'm not, when, as soon as this, then this, and then
this, you know.
As soon as I get my slippers on, my feet will be warm.
I'm going to go to Daddy's.
I'm going to make a pot pie.
You know, but only, I ain't having no pot pie until I do the other thing, until
I do my, you know.
When I have my own plans, stay with me.
What I'm saying is, I'm always, I'm always waiting for everything to be perfect
before I live my life.
I'm always waiting for everything to be perfect before I live my life.
As soon as these things line up, I'm going to live my life.
Man, I'm so guilty of that.
You know, as soon as, you know, as soon as it, as soon as, you know, this new
medicine I'm using helps me.
And as soon as this shirt I ordered come in, and as soon as I learned Spanish,
that, my shit, I learned, as soon as I learned Spanish really well.
Like I'm a, you know, like I'm a blue belt or whatever in it, but I always want
to wait until everything's perfect.
You know, Dustin Poirier noticed that about me.
And he said to me, point blank, he said, hey man, you can't wait for everything
to be perfect to start living your life.
He said, hey man, I'm a blue belt.
He said, hey man, I'm a blue belt.
I'm a blue belt.
He said, hey man, I'm a blue belt.
He said, hey man, I'm a blue belt.
He said, hey man, I'm a blue belt.
He said, hey man, I'm a blue belt.
He said, hey man, I'm a blue belt.
He said, hey man, I'm a blue belt.
He said, hey man, I'm a blue belt.
He said, hey man, I'm a blue belt.
He said, hey man, I'm a blue belt.
He said, hey man, I'm a blue belt.
He said, hey man, I'm a blue belt.
He said, hey man, I'm a blue belt.
He said, hey man, I'm a blue belt.
My whole life has been like that.
Inside of me, it has been, as soon as it's all lined up, I'm going to show you
myself.
As soon as I've got it all looking the way I want, I'm going to show up for you.
And for me.
And man, those were just powerful words that hit me this year.
And I'm not trying to preach at you or anything.
I just, you know, I was thinking the other day about what has been kind of a
highlight of my year.
Something I heard this year.
What are some things that, that stuck with me?
And that was, that was a big one.
He sent me a message and it said, and sometimes you have to shoot a friend
straight.
There's a lot of time where you can sit there and you can be that shoulder.
But sometimes you got to, you know, you got to be that fist, baby.
And I'm not talking, you know, butt activity.
I'm not talking homosexual, you know, homosexualizing.
I'm talking straight, being straight.
Or being gay, but I'm talking about being a friend.
I can't wait, man.
It's not all going to, I'm never going to get to that where everything's okay.
Where everything looks a certain way.
And in the meantime, I'm burning the best time I do have available.
I'm burning that candle up.
I'm burning this candle down and I'm saying as soon as it gets bright enough or
warm enough in here, I'm going to show up.
But the candle's getting smaller.
It's a trap.
Hope you enjoyed that video.
And you can watch another.
And you can watch this one.
You can watch this one.
Different options, different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option.
Not this guy.
Two options.
Watch one.
This one or this one.