Name: Louis C.K. and Theo Talk About Their Dads
Uploaded: 2023-01-12T00:48:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Louis C.K. and Theo Talk About Their Dads' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Louis C.K. and Theo Talk About Their Dads' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-12. Transcript available.

i wouldn't have traded my dad for other dads i wouldn't have yeah i did like
that i do feel
lucky that i had a weird dad that i had an unusual father uh my mom used to say
that he's not boring
you know and it makes you who you are i mean you're from a you have a very
specific background
in a very very you know a very rare upbringing and that's a great thing for you
now right right
yeah at the time it felt painful but now i realize wow this was all uh part of
the plan
that's right um we had that now i did admire like that magnum pi dad with the
fucking like
i mean just the hair coming up around the bottom of the shorts yeah like the
hair was like trying to
get back up to his mustache you know it was like yeah this hair has a plan that's
right fucking dude
and his and we had to go out there and push this one dude glenn his dad had
that big uh dish that
direct tv dish oh yeah sure we had to push that bitch to get the porn so we'd
have to go out there
oh you had to earn it you know yeah yeah yeah and we'd have to get that cinemax
and we'd fucking put
your shoulder into it or you couldn't come my father's an odd guy and uh he sat
me down
and he said uh i think my mother told me you need to talk to him oh i had three
older sisters i was the
only boy so she said you need to talk to him and what he told me was he said
when you have sex with
a woman you need to make her desire you so you enter her he just skipped all
the like how it works
he just said you enter her a little bit you touch just barely touch her and
then you come out and
you and you withhold he's mexican and he had a weird sort of traditional he'd
say and then you
and then you make her beg and beg oh and then you go in again and you go only a
little bit and then you
just come out again and you you keep withholding and until she can't stand it
and only then do you
really penetrate her and she'll come like a rocket like he was just he taught
me how to make a woman
come he wasn't wrong right he wasn't wrong but i think you need to tell a
little kid some other
first before you get to like how to make a middle-aged woman come yeah yeah but
that's what he was like
he was very narcissistic and you know wow yeah i am who taught you it's about
sex i mean did you have
i'm asking the same question a mentor yeah thanks for asking man my dad well my
dad was 70 when i was
born so my dad was an older guy yeah and so he um he would always tell me he
had dated chicks grandmothers
that were like in my class and stuff like that and he would show me like poems
that he had written
and they were like on paper that was like disintegrating like it was like it
was also he was teaching you
about romance yeah my dad was more of a romancer that's nice so he was teaching
me about romance but
nothing about sex one time i saw him he i think he had cancer or something but
he was walking down the
hall and like i thought he was going to have like he had a new girlfriend and
we were at her house
she had a nice house and she made all this like beef brisket or whatever i'd
never even seen it
you know blew my fucking mind yeah just what what your were your parents
married they were married
till i was seven and then they got divorced and did he have kids before with
other women yeah
okay he had three other children okay so he's now so now you're how old i'm
maybe at this point i was
probably 12 and you saw him somewhere and he had another girlfriend yeah and
she let her stay at her
house you only ever had bologna and cola cuts oh i'd never had brisket no of
course not i mean i was
yeah i never even i never even couldn't imagine it and then um i he was walking
down the hall and i
thought he was going to like have sex with us at night time and i would sleep
on their living room
on the living room couch and then he literally uh he was sick and he defecated
all over himself and it
was like one of the scariest and craziest things that ever happened because i
remember watching him and
thinking wow my dad's going uh like be with this lady you know and she was like
wealthy and i don't
even know why she even liked us but she did and then he was sick you know and
then i was so afraid
to try to go to help or anything because he was like he had cancer and he was
getting real sick i didn't
know wow but it was a that way anyway that story took kind of a weird turn but
yeah that's just life
you know but yeah it was like a moment where there was just a lot of life at
once but so uh one
interesting way you put it is you say what she didn't know why she liked us so
you and your dad
were like a unit you were like a team like so did when he left when your mom
when your mom and him
divorced you went with dad no i stayed with my mom but i always felt like my
dad was just more loving
yeah my mom has like kind of like an emotional kind of autism like she can't
show you affection
kind of that's hard yeah and um a lot of parents like that it's hard is there
yeah yeah so it was
just kind of like but she's a hard worker and stuff but anyway it was uh so
then and i was kind of
infatuated by my dad because nothing he did he was older so everything was off
a little it didn't make
sense um and it was kind of i think it was more fascinating you know being
around him yeah i felt that
way about my dad a little bit because he wasn't like any of my friends dads he
was a strange guy who's
a mexican and um and very serious dude yeah a bit like a european mexican you
know there's a lot of
different kinds of mexicans um i lived there till i was about seven oh nice um
but uh but yeah he was
weird so i kind of like i was fascinated by him but i he didn't show much
interest he i just remember
him always looking at his eye level like he didn't look down at me much i just
always looked up at
his face and he was looking that way wow what does that do to you well it's uh
hard but i feel more
bad for him because he didn't he was alone up there i didn't think about that i
do now because he's you
know very very old and in a chair like this and he's alone no we know we don't
go see him much me and
my sisters yeah and my mom i mean when she was she died and in her last year of
life when she was you
know we were like there and kept her in our houses and kept took care of her
till the last second she
had us all around her never alone because she just was a a loving person and
she you know you wanted to
be with her oh wow but my dad was all fucked up in his own head and he was you
know i mean narcissism
is like a it's a sickness yeah and it's isolating and it's very sad you know i
feel bad for him now i'm
able to feel bad for him because he was um it was painful to be his kid you
know physically and
mentally so um but i'm past that 55 years it takes a long time to you know were
you surprised how long
it took to get past that kind of stuff because i find it's interesting a lot of
our audiences like
kind of guys that kind of like are still figuring things out it's kind of like
a lot of late bloomers
yeah i think and no judgment to any of the listeners but um yeah i think a lot
of young
men are stuck in this time where it's like yeah we're fake it's almost like you're
figuring your
shit out your parents shit out it's like it's almost come to like this kind of
like curve in
the pipe where it's like we got to kind of figure this shit out in here yeah i
think that's right and
i think uh it's hard i don't think you can rush it i don't think i think it
happens later because
something comes loose it just does it's nothing you can figure out it's nothing
where you can go
oh i mean you think about it once in a while some and also you spend a lot of
life avoiding it
right so like my when i was a young dad and stuff i just pushed my dad away i
just didn't want to
think about him so i just decided he doesn't matter anymore for years and like
when i was little i
remember he was spanking me once which is now to me a really odd thing is a man's
hand spanked a
fucking bare ass of a child a little bony i can't fathom it now yeah put pants
on that kid yeah
what are you doing it's really gay and weird and upsetting yeah but uh i
remember being spanked so
fucking hard like it was it was like blackouts but like i can't handle this and
i remember thinking to
myself i think i was about nine i thought the day i get a wallet like that was
the magical thing
the day i get a wallet with that money in it yeah and cards and that set of
keys the second i have
that i ain't never gonna look at this person again in my life i'm getting away
from this guy as soon as
i have those that's all you need so you had a lot you were really you were it
really yeah i really
didn't like being around him and my mother divorced him when they were when i
was 10 so then i had a lot
of years just with mom where he was around and he would ask for attention
sometimes and i didn't i
wasn't afraid of him anymore but i but he made me uncomfortable i didn't like
being around there's a
lot of good things about my dad and i i owe him a lot um yeah totally you know
and he created you he did
and he also devoted a lot of life to you know he was a mexican and he his our
family mexico they do
okay and they have some influence and they have you know he had a better life
there but he moved to
america it's sort of the opposite of most immigrants that he went from mexico
where he was pretty well
established to america where he had no tools to survive and where he didn't get
the culture but he
did it because my mom was the strong one in the family my mom worked really
hard and she she raised
us and and supported us wow so uh so he he is picking my mom instead of
somebody in mexico and
that's how i got to be in in the land of opportunity yeah it's interesting yeah
it's interesting man how
a lot of times it's our a previous generation had to kind of take an l they had
to like really that's
right so you could have it you know it's hard to imagine imagine that in your
own life i'm gonna do
something shitty yeah oh i'm gonna move to toledo so my son no fuck you kid
good good luck i'm gonna
do something i'm gonna go to vegas and just keep trying to win yeah i'd rather
sell my ass on the
internet yeah fuck that take my chances but i i then i so i went through years
of like not wanting
to think about him and then i once in a while i would check in with him and see
maybe we have
something and he'd feel the same and i gotta want and he didn't even seem
interested sometimes and
that was shitty um but then and my mom meanwhile took care of him she after
they divorced she kept
because he was kind of a mess and i learned from that from watching my mom do
all the way to the
end you know my mom when she was dying she provided for him and stuff and i
learned about her from that
and i asked her about it i because because she had no reason to be with the guy
anymore they had been
divorced since i was 10 and now you know this was a few years ago and she said
i want to send a
message to him with she was leaving him some money she said that he's i want to
send him a message that
he's not alone in the world now that i'm gone somebody gives a shit about him
and because that's a that's a
promise she made him when she married him and even though they divorced she's
she's still honored that
promise even though he didn't stay to his side or whatever and so that helped
me like i was a that was a
that was a uh role model for me my mom later in life and then after she died i
was about to say left
uh my after she left after she left me by ceasing to breathe yeah that's great
yeah some guys probably
think that yeah like you mom yeah i needed you after she died my sister and i
who
were were at her uh a memorial that we had for her and he came and neither of
us had seen him for a
long time and we were talking we were standing in a room talking about we we
should uh um where are we
going to put him because so we don't have to be near him and then he walked up
with a cane and we
were both like come here and we sat with him and then we had this interesting
affection for him because
mom is gone she would have wanted us to be good to him and he was so weak and
he was so and i just felt
bad for him and i felt a tenderness for him so i go to see him once in a while
in this place where
he lives and last time i saw him i just let i let go of everything it just all
went away and now i just
feel this tenderness i just feel so sorry sorry for the guy i'm all this left
all anger and guilt all
those bad feelings they burn away with time they all burn away completely and
so i'm just left with who's
i sort of fascinated by him now i look at when he taught he struggles to talk
and i look at his face and
watch it struggle you know and i feel i feel for him you know anyway long
answer sorry but
no but it's kind of a beautiful answer it's about how life is you know it's
like it's funny when you
go back to see like kind of the dragon whatever the dragon is and time has
affected it and it's changed
yeah it's all time it's gonna i mean for your listeners that are struggling
with it it's like
you can't rush it and and it's okay if you have blocks and stuff you'll you'll
i mean you can trust
yourself a little bit you know what i mean you'll get there you'll get there
when it's time
yeah i think uh i'll have i have i had a lot of like i was ashamed of my dad a
lot i think because
of his age and so i think i had for a while i had some issues with that but
even over time that kind
of went away you notice how i would kind of like probably look at him or i
would introduce him to
people as my grandfather just little things that it's like you know i start to
think well i wonder how
that affected him or um i don't know it's interesting man i'll i just love all
that kind of stuff like
how people relate to one another and and especially from our parents growing up
did you wish you had a
dad like other kids dads that were like younger and stronger and more dad like
dad like or a little
bit but then like some one dude's you know his dad like held up the ready-made
with a shotgun for pills
you know so it was like my dad just like bought a my dad bought a cutlass like
a delta 88 remember
those cars yeah sure i remember them well yeah and pull one up a long car yeah
it was uh oh yeah
well he had a long kind of rectangular car wasn't it well yeah some of the
early ones were he had a good
ltd too for a while yeah those were they just that hood oh you you could just
live on that dude it
was so warm in there there were always like four cats in there yeah sure and
they would stay in
while we drove somewhere like it was like it was those cars floated too man
they were comfortable
oh yeah i loved cars like that oh i feel like you'd get yeah six blocks and you're
pregnant and that
bit yeah that was a dad car when i was a kid but then when i was in high school
everybody would have
those like kids would have those and they'd spray paint them whatever you know
with cans of spray
paint yeah yeah and they were like badass cars i mean the bumper is like this
thick and it's pure
steel it was it was like make it made of iron that car oh they were so good
about three miles to the
gallon my dad bought his off a couple like brothers that lived around a corner
in our neighborhood
and so it had like these big speakers in it right and so he would drive and he
couldn't even hear
right they had like 22s in the trunk and so he would be listening to like paul
harvey and like uh
whatever that is npr or something it was with npr within or maybe it's just paul
harvey what is that
i don't even know who that is oh good day remember that guy on the radio oh
yeah yeah okay maybe it's
like rush limbaugh right oh he listened to rush okay rush limbaugh and npr are
very different oh they
are so he would listen to rush limbaugh or those guys and then it would be like
uh but it would be
with bass right like so he would just be driving around listening to like
insane like with the real
bottom to it oh limbaugh it was unbelievable and he always had like this old
his car was just stacked
with just because he my dad got this job like going to like he would go to
college and sign
people up for credit cards like that guy or whatever oh and that was one of the
first place he would
take me there with him when i was like 11 or 12 he even let me drive him
because he was like
you know at that point he's 82 so uh so as soon as i was about like five maybe
six or seven he let me
drive him over there and then i would stand on the table and like bark at
people to come over and
get the credit card thing yeah and i think maybe that's where some of like my
first semblance of
like getting on stage or like saying stuff or whatever kind of came from um but
yeah that kind
of stuff man i love thinking about growing up and what happened and how it
affects us now hope you
enjoyed that video and you can watch another and you can watch this one you can
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Louis C.K. and Theo Talk About Their Dads

i wouldn't have traded my dad for other dads i wouldn't have yeah i did like
that i do feel
lucky that i had a weird dad that i had an unusual father uh my mom used to say
that he's not boring
you know and it makes you who you are i mean you're from a you have a very
specific background
in a very very you know a very rare upbringing and that's a great thing for you
now right right
yeah at the time it felt painful but now i realize wow this was all uh part of
the plan
that's right um we had that now i did admire like that magnum pi dad with the
fucking like
i mean just the hair coming up around the bottom of the shorts yeah like the
hair was like trying to
get back up to his mustache you know it was like yeah this hair has a plan that's
right fucking dude
and his and we had to go out there and push this one dude glenn his dad had
that big uh dish that
direct tv dish oh yeah sure we had to push that bitch to get the porn so we'd
have to go out there
oh you had to earn it you know yeah yeah yeah and we'd have to get that cinemax
and we'd fucking put
your shoulder into it or you couldn't come my father's an odd guy and uh he sat
me down
and he said uh i think my mother told me you need to talk to him oh i had three
older sisters i was the
only boy so she said you need to talk to him and what he told me was he said
when you have sex with
a woman you need to make her desire you so you enter her he just skipped all
the like how it works
he just said you enter her a little bit you touch just barely touch her and
then you come out and
you and you withhold he's mexican and he had a weird sort of traditional he'd
say and then you
and then you make her beg and beg oh and then you go in again and you go only a
little bit and then you
just come out again and you you keep withholding and until she can't stand it
and only then do you
really penetrate her and she'll come like a rocket like he was just he taught
me how to make a woman
come he wasn't wrong right he wasn't wrong but i think you need to tell a
little kid some other
first before you get to like how to make a middle-aged woman come yeah yeah but
that's what he was like
he was very narcissistic and you know wow yeah i am who taught you it's about
sex i mean did you have
i'm asking the same question a mentor yeah thanks for asking man my dad well my
dad was 70 when i was
born so my dad was an older guy yeah and so he um he would always tell me he
had dated chicks grandmothers
that were like in my class and stuff like that and he would show me like poems
that he had written
and they were like on paper that was like disintegrating like it was like it
was also he was teaching you
about romance yeah my dad was more of a romancer that's nice so he was teaching
me about romance but
nothing about sex one time i saw him he i think he had cancer or something but
he was walking down the
hall and like i thought he was going to have like he had a new girlfriend and
we were at her house
she had a nice house and she made all this like beef brisket or whatever i'd
never even seen it
you know blew my fucking mind yeah just what what your were your parents
married they were married
till i was seven and then they got divorced and did he have kids before with
other women yeah
okay he had three other children okay so he's now so now you're how old i'm
maybe at this point i was
probably 12 and you saw him somewhere and he had another girlfriend yeah and
she let her stay at her
house you only ever had bologna and cola cuts oh i'd never had brisket no of
course not i mean i was
yeah i never even i never even couldn't imagine it and then um i he was walking
down the hall and i
thought he was going to like have sex with us at night time and i would sleep
on their living room
on the living room couch and then he literally uh he was sick and he defecated
all over himself and it
was like one of the scariest and craziest things that ever happened because i
remember watching him and
thinking wow my dad's going uh like be with this lady you know and she was like
wealthy and i don't
even know why she even liked us but she did and then he was sick you know and
then i was so afraid
to try to go to help or anything because he was like he had cancer and he was
getting real sick i didn't
know wow but it was a that way anyway that story took kind of a weird turn but
yeah that's just life
you know but yeah it was like a moment where there was just a lot of life at
once but so uh one
interesting way you put it is you say what she didn't know why she liked us so
you and your dad
were like a unit you were like a team like so did when he left when your mom
when your mom and him
divorced you went with dad no i stayed with my mom but i always felt like my
dad was just more loving
yeah my mom has like kind of like an emotional kind of autism like she can't
show you affection
kind of that's hard yeah and um a lot of parents like that it's hard is there
yeah yeah so it was
just kind of like but she's a hard worker and stuff but anyway it was uh so
then and i was kind of
infatuated by my dad because nothing he did he was older so everything was off
a little it didn't make
sense um and it was kind of i think it was more fascinating you know being
around him yeah i felt that
way about my dad a little bit because he wasn't like any of my friends dads he
was a strange guy who's
a mexican and um and very serious dude yeah a bit like a european mexican you
know there's a lot of
different kinds of mexicans um i lived there till i was about seven oh nice um
but uh but yeah he was
weird so i kind of like i was fascinated by him but i he didn't show much
interest he i just remember
him always looking at his eye level like he didn't look down at me much i just
always looked up at
his face and he was looking that way wow what does that do to you well it's uh
hard but i feel more
bad for him because he didn't he was alone up there i didn't think about that i
do now because he's you
know very very old and in a chair like this and he's alone no we know we don't
go see him much me and
my sisters yeah and my mom i mean when she was she died and in her last year of
life when she was you
know we were like there and kept her in our houses and kept took care of her
till the last second she
had us all around her never alone because she just was a a loving person and
she you know you wanted to
be with her oh wow but my dad was all fucked up in his own head and he was you
know i mean narcissism
is like a it's a sickness yeah and it's isolating and it's very sad you know i
feel bad for him now i'm
able to feel bad for him because he was um it was painful to be his kid you
know physically and
mentally so um but i'm past that 55 years it takes a long time to you know were
you surprised how long
it took to get past that kind of stuff because i find it's interesting a lot of
our audiences like
kind of guys that kind of like are still figuring things out it's kind of like
a lot of late bloomers
yeah i think and no judgment to any of the listeners but um yeah i think a lot
of young
men are stuck in this time where it's like yeah we're fake it's almost like you're
figuring your
shit out your parents shit out it's like it's almost come to like this kind of
like curve in
the pipe where it's like we got to kind of figure this shit out in here yeah i
think that's right and
i think uh it's hard i don't think you can rush it i don't think i think it
happens later because
something comes loose it just does it's nothing you can figure out it's nothing
where you can go
oh i mean you think about it once in a while some and also you spend a lot of
life avoiding it
right so like my when i was a young dad and stuff i just pushed my dad away i
just didn't want to
think about him so i just decided he doesn't matter anymore for years and like
when i was little i
remember he was spanking me once which is now to me a really odd thing is a man's
hand spanked a
fucking bare ass of a child a little bony i can't fathom it now yeah put pants
on that kid yeah
what are you doing it's really gay and weird and upsetting yeah but uh i
remember being spanked so
fucking hard like it was it was like blackouts but like i can't handle this and
i remember thinking to
myself i think i was about nine i thought the day i get a wallet like that was
the magical thing
the day i get a wallet with that money in it yeah and cards and that set of
keys the second i have
that i ain't never gonna look at this person again in my life i'm getting away
from this guy as soon as
i have those that's all you need so you had a lot you were really you were it
really yeah i really
didn't like being around him and my mother divorced him when they were when i
was 10 so then i had a lot
of years just with mom where he was around and he would ask for attention
sometimes and i didn't i
wasn't afraid of him anymore but i but he made me uncomfortable i didn't like
being around there's a
lot of good things about my dad and i i owe him a lot um yeah totally you know
and he created you he did
and he also devoted a lot of life to you know he was a mexican and he his our
family mexico they do
okay and they have some influence and they have you know he had a better life
there but he moved to
america it's sort of the opposite of most immigrants that he went from mexico
where he was pretty well
established to america where he had no tools to survive and where he didn't get
the culture but he
did it because my mom was the strong one in the family my mom worked really
hard and she she raised
us and and supported us wow so uh so he he is picking my mom instead of
somebody in mexico and
that's how i got to be in in the land of opportunity yeah it's interesting yeah
it's interesting man how
a lot of times it's our a previous generation had to kind of take an l they had
to like really that's
right so you could have it you know it's hard to imagine imagine that in your
own life i'm gonna do
something shitty yeah oh i'm gonna move to toledo so my son no fuck you kid
good good luck i'm gonna
do something i'm gonna go to vegas and just keep trying to win yeah i'd rather
sell my ass on the
internet yeah fuck that take my chances but i i then i so i went through years
of like not wanting
to think about him and then i once in a while i would check in with him and see
maybe we have
something and he'd feel the same and i gotta want and he didn't even seem
interested sometimes and
that was shitty um but then and my mom meanwhile took care of him she after
they divorced she kept
because he was kind of a mess and i learned from that from watching my mom do
all the way to the
end you know my mom when she was dying she provided for him and stuff and i
learned about her from that
and i asked her about it i because because she had no reason to be with the guy
anymore they had been
divorced since i was 10 and now you know this was a few years ago and she said
i want to send a
message to him with she was leaving him some money she said that he's i want to
send him a message that
he's not alone in the world now that i'm gone somebody gives a shit about him
and because that's a that's a
promise she made him when she married him and even though they divorced she's
she's still honored that
promise even though he didn't stay to his side or whatever and so that helped
me like i was a that was a
that was a uh role model for me my mom later in life and then after she died i
was about to say left
uh my after she left after she left me by ceasing to breathe yeah that's great
yeah some guys probably
think that yeah like you mom yeah i needed you after she died my sister and i
who
were were at her uh a memorial that we had for her and he came and neither of
us had seen him for a
long time and we were talking we were standing in a room talking about we we
should uh um where are we
going to put him because so we don't have to be near him and then he walked up
with a cane and we
were both like come here and we sat w