Name: Riff Raff and Theo Talk Breast Milk
Uploaded: 2023-02-01T14:16:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Riff Raff and Theo Talk Breast Milk' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Riff Raff and Theo Talk Breast Milk' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-01. Transcript available.

I want to be as healthy as possible, eliminate as much health problems as
possible, you know,
and try to be 100. I think 100 is a good, a good solid age, man. If you can
make it to 100,
because I see people at the gym, this one dude drinks, he's like 74, and he's
in there every
time we get in the gym. Every time we go to the gym, he's already in there
working out 8, 9 in
the morning, and he's in there until after I leave, but he only goes in the
mornings,
and we were talking to him in the locker room. Is he tall or short?
He's about my height, and he's 74 in shape, and he said he drinks one cup of
breast milk
every day. He said he has 20-something kids, and his kids have kids, and then
the mothers,
or even the daughters, or his daughters. I think he had the kids just to
continue that
breath, keep getting a cup of, so he never runs out of breast milk. He said one
cup. Somebody's
having a baby, and somebody gets a cup.
Wow. I wonder, does it have to be drank out of, like, does it come from his own
family,
then, I'm guessing?
He'll do that. I'd ask him that. He'd say, yeah.
One cup. I wonder if I could handle it. I wonder if it would...
I don't know how he'd...
If I'd ever reflect, you know?
I mean, I think you just got to do it, like, just, I mean, you know, like Everclear.
Mix
it with some ginger ale. Set it out in the sun for about two days, right?
Yeah, maybe, dog. I don't know if I could ever have any breast milk, man. This
girl, Tommy
Lahren, she has a friend who has breasts, who does breast milk out of her
breasts at parties
and shit.
Oh, no.
But I don't like all of that, bro. I think breast milk is... If I, you know, I
wouldn't
drink it out of season. What's the season for it?
I don't know what... I don't even know if I could do it like that.
Is it like a, you know, like they have that thing at Starbucks that comes out,
what is it?
Right, like the pumpkin spice calzone.
Yeah, like maybe in the wintertime I could do it, you know?
A breast milk calzone?
Do a fucking lime, kiwi, fucking licorice croissant, you know?
Right, it's just a shot. Just a little.
Just a little.
Yeah.
You'd have to have it with something, I'm saying. I think if you were...
Something is wrong with
you.
You gotta chase it with something.
Yeah, or have something before it. I don't think you'd go and just have breast
milk. I
don't think I would.
Maybe like melt some like vanilla bean, blue bell ice cream, and you got a shot
of that.
Boom. Take that back. Then you go breast milk, and then you go melted vanilla
bean, blue
bell again.
Ah.
Then it's just, you know? I think it would overlap it.
Yeah, I think, yeah, you'd have to manage it well, because I don't know if you
could tell
your neighbors and shit about it. I just, I don't want to be doing, I don't
like to do
things in secret. Dude, what if we are in the wrong, we buying all this other
goose milk
and all of this, and animal milk, and we supposed to be still having breast
milk, bruh?
There'd be a lot of saggy titties around here.
But fuck, boy. Imagine people beating down their mama's door just to get a sip
at night,
just to be safe for the morning.
She'd probably eventually have to call the cops on you.
But that'd be crazy. My son's over here trying to suck on my tits again. I'm
sick of his little
ass, bruh. Or he ain't even my real son, she might tell him.
Damn. He over here trying to suck on my tits.
What would the police come and say?
The police, what'd they say?
They'd come up.
They'd be like,
Well, policia,
you know what time it is. Come on.
Open up.
If he don't get it,
we will.
And they come over helping.
They're in on it.
Yeah. Everybody wants it.
Everybody wants that fucking leche con mamas.
Damn, boy.
That dose percent.
Ooh.
Damn, boy. I fucking dipped my dick in it, bruh.
That shit would probably...
Because imagine all the things mother's milk could do, man.
I can't believe we forgot about it.
I wonder what it does.
I don't know the science behind it.
I mean, I know babies get it.
Like, that's all they need, right?
Right.
Apparently.
Yeah, imagine if we kept having it.
But that's the thing.
Mothers get kind of greedy.
They put that...
They stop it after a couple months or whatever.
Body shuts it down.
Says, uh-uh.
It's out of season.
Wait till August, baby.
We'll see you at Starbucks.
Hope you enjoyed that video.
And you can watch another.
And you can watch this one.
You can watch this one.
Different options.
Different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option.
Not this guy.
Two options.
Watch one.
This one or this one.