Name: What To Do When You’re Depressed
Uploaded: 2023-02-06T14:33:45.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What To Do When You’re Depressed' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What To Do When You’re Depressed' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-06. Transcript available.

what the fuck do you do when you're depressed and you don't know what the
fuck is going on with your life? I'm 23. I'm about to graduate.
All these kinds of good things are happening around me, but man,
I ain't been more depressed in my life.
And I've seen you like on this weekend, like this weekend and all that shit.
And I saw you were going through a hard patch now and I was going through a
hard patch and I just kind of want to hear, you know,
what do you do to kind of see the brightness when you stand in the dark,
man? Be well.
Thanks, Brian. I appreciate that, man. Um, it's, you know,
it's a good question. What do you do? You know, I'm not,
I'm not trying to get all philosophical. What I do, uh, in the past,
I didn't do anything, man. I'll tell you that I made some poor choices.
I would lay in my bed. I would do masturbation. You know,
I would do just masturbation until I didn't even have any feelings.
I would almost just beat my feelings out of my body, uh, via masturbation,
you know, and I started masturbation when I was young and, uh,
and it persisted, man. Even, and that's another thing about, you know,
no man ever told me anything about masturbation, man.
You know, I mean, when my father was young, they had,
he was probably on horses and who knows what the fuck they were doing.
You know, I don't even know if they had masturbation then.
Uh, and my brother was gone. He wasn't there. So I learned it,
you know, by watching some pornography videos. And, uh,
some boy beat me up at the library one time and showed me a bunch of pictures
of,
um, cooter. That's what he called it. And he would,
that boy was beating me and making me look at this,
look at these pictures of cooter that he had that were all jacked up and had
been,
probably just looked like they'd been looked at so many times. It was nasty.
But what do I do, man? I try to find some faith these days. I try to have faith.
You know, that things will be okay. I mean, it's, it's hard to tell a guy,
I mean, you're in college, you're going through those, you know,
there's a lot going on in your life. I bet it's busy. You know, your,
your future probably seems immense. Your possibilities probably seem endless.
Uh, but also it's probably scary if you're graduating, you're getting out of
college.
I'll just tell you this, man, you got time to make some poor choices.
So even if whatever you're choosing doesn't end up being phenomenal,
you can fuck up, dude. You could start a bakery, bruh. You could start a bake.
You could do French breads and,
you know, baguettes and whatever. And fuck that whole industry up, dude.
You could burn the bakery down and try to get insurance money, go to jail for
that for eight years.
You get out, you're only 31. You could then join the service, get out of that,
and you're only 35.
And you still can do it, you know, so you have time to kill, man. So I just
wouldn't be so hard on yourself.
I'd take a step back. And sometimes when you're in your problems, you can't see
that the reality
of things is that things are okay. You know, sometimes you're just so caught up,
like you got to do this and you got to do that. Sometimes the best thing to do
is nothing and just
realize that they, that, that by not doing anything, you're going to be okay.
You're, you know,
take care of whatever your basic needs are and just relax, man. You know, relax,
especially if
you're in college, man, they got, you know, hot leg running around and you
could do, you know,
you could experiment and do homosexuality. You could do whatever you want and,
uh, and whatever
it is, you'll be able to, you know, get through it or get past it. Um, because
time will heal
everything, man. I promise you that dude, uh, time will heal everything. So I'd
say, look at the
reality, bud. I would say, just look at the reality of things in the big scheme
of things.
It's not going to be that overwhelming. When I think back about college, the
only thing I really
remember is that I wish I would have had more fun, that I wish I wouldn't have
worried so much about
this or that, you know, uh, about the tests and about the, you know, um, what
people thought of
me and that I just wish I'd had a good time. I wish I had more pictures from
college of me
having a blast, bro. That's what I wish. So if I had any guidance there or
thoughts or suggestions,
I would say, take it easy, take a step back. If, if shit feels dark, find a
mentor, you know,
find a, find a, you know, somebody already graduated and talk to them, talk to,
talk to
somebody. Don't go it alone. You know, find you another man and get out there
and put your
feelings out there. You know, you can't be afraid to put your feelings out
there, dude.
Uh, that boy, Thunder's daddy, he used to, when I would miss the school bus,
his dad would give me a
ride to school and he would even help me with my spelling words. And he used to
smoke, uh, Marlboro
cigarettes and he would blow the cigarette smoke at me while I was trying to
recite my spelling.
And it's hard to spell. Spelling is kind of hard enough. I did well in it, but
spelling,
when you got smoke coming at you and in your eyes and everything, even harder,
you know,
when you're trying to spell during, when you're trying to spell just being
attacked by secondhand
smoke, that's a real, I mean, that's some fucking straight up Wyatt Earp. I
mean, you're the Wyatt
Earp of consonants and syllables at that point. So, um, but I remember
sometimes I would share
with him what was going on because even if it was just a few minutes in a car
together,
that was another man around that I could reach out to for support. So that's
what I would say,
man, take it easy. Look at the reality of the situation. Don't get caught in
them, in the,
in the minutia that's right in front of you. Look at the big picture, big
picture. You're
finishing college, man. That's a huge achievement. Big picture is you could
fuck up. You could do
your bakery and fuck it up and still be fine. Um, you could do law school,
medical, you could,
you got time, bud. So don't get too overwhelmed. Take your time. Take it easy,
man. That's what I
would say.
Hope you enjoyed that video and you can watch another and you can watch this
one. You can
watch this one. Different options, different choices. Some guy just brings you
one option,
not this guy. Two options. Watch one. This one or this one.