Name: Logic Stalked A Smoothie Shop To Find His Wife
Uploaded: 2023-03-02T02:50:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Logic Stalked A Smoothie Shop To Find His Wife' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Logic Stalked A Smoothie Shop To Find His Wife' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-02. Transcript available.

how did you know when you met your wife that that was it man was that hard was
that a weird
it was definitely hard you know what i'm saying my shit was because you were i'm
sure you was
easy to date oh i thought we were talking about my dick oh anyway um truth be
told yeah how did
you know like this is i found my wife i walked in uh to a store three days
after i got separated
from my previous wife and i saw this this girl and i thought i thought she was
like 24 or something i
was 28 at the time she was 19 i didn't know this and uh yeah and we had a she
worked at a smoothie
shop oh god i fucking love that bro and she was grinding she's busting her ass
she's in college
she's doing all this other shit and um yeah man she was really just super duper
sweet and i went
back to the same smoothie shop every every every day for two weeks and she wasn't
there oh and i was
like writing music about her like a fucking creep and i was like right i just
like was so inspired
like i don't know she was just so beautiful she's breathtaking so i go back
every day in the morning
and in the night in case which shift i don't know and then i go and i'm like
befriending like all the
oh and there's a bunch of bad bitches that work there and they all think i'm
coming to see them
oh and i'm like i'm not coming to see y'all it's like for real and then like yo
it's crazy like and i
remember the manager was this gay dude and he was leaving oh now he trying to
smash
i bought him some chocolates because he was leaving oh i'm sure so i was like i
was just
like i'm gonna be the nicest motherfucker i mean i am a nice guy but i was
gonna be extra so she's
hearing about me and she was and she everybody thought i was there to see like
a different bitch
but like she didn't know and then if you finally bro two weeks go by and i was
like all right i'm
giving up i go there one night and she wasn't there and i was like i gotta take
a piss i go take a piss
i walk out and i go to pay for my shit and i just hear hey bobby and i turn
around it was this
fucking angel and i was like oh my god this is it and my heart was just beating
out of my chest like
bro like fucking crazy for real and it's like man i'd gone through a lot man
and i just fucking i'm
getting publicly divorced and just all this crazy shit and it's just so
difficult and here's this like
angel and so i'm talking to her and she's so fucking cool did you have a visor
on a what like a
smooth like some of a smoothie place to make did she yeah fuck no she was
looking bad as shit had
her hair all parted she wasn't looking stupid oh yeah and then um she's in
fucking leggings and just
and i was like oh my god i'm talking to her and then she's just so sweet and
she's just talking to
me and i'm telling her about things i have going on she's like that's so cool
you know sometimes me
and my boyfriend no and i was like what fuck bro sounds like a piece of shit yo
literally i was like yo
this fucking sucks man what the fuck you got a boyfriend but i didn't say it
like that i was like
i was like no way that's so tight like what's his name what's his fucking name
bitch you better tell
me his fucking name right now like that's i can't even hear his name oh i don't
know yeah so it's a
whole thing so she says this shit and then so then i come back i come back like
a week or no a couple
days later and i see her again and what happened and i i was just like i was
just talking to her i was
like telling her about all these cool new things happening in my life oh yeah
definitely and i was
just like man like we should be friends and she's like we are friends no no no
she was like yeah for
sure and i had this whole you don't understand like i'm not joking i like
rehearsed for 48 hours the
whole conversation how it was gonna go how i was gonna get her number oh my god
and then play the
long waiting game because she was worth it you know like i was like okay i'm
gonna we're gonna wait we're
gonna figure this out so i had this whole thing and i was like we should be
friends and then i start to
do my spiel she's like yeah i could just give you my number and i was like oh
my god i don't even
have to do i don't have to do anything so i'm like okay cool so i get her
number when did you text her
dude i fucking texted her that night what i don't give a fuck i'm you're gonna
fuck no i put my dick
on the table bro i'm not scared of shit you be you 100 and they're either gonna
accept you and love
you for who you are or they're fucking not they're not and that's what i'm
saying no that's a real i
mean they're not for you maybe i i yeah have you got to be yourself bro like be
you in a fucking
relationship that's why it's so bullshit when two people get together on a
fucking date and they're
not they're lying they're being them bet like i'll be on the first date i'll be
like damn bitch i just
ripped ass in the bathroom wow i'm like that's who i am i'm like me and my wife
on our first date i was
like i'm not in in a weird way i was just like do you want children one day
she was like yeah i was like oh dope do you see yourself getting married
that i'm like what's up you super religious she's like no i believe in
something like an energy is
something universe i'm like okay i ask those important questions because most
people don't
and then five years fucking later they're getting divorced because they never
talked about them in
the first place yeah so anyway i get a nice fucking rubbing a gemstone on her
vulva
but yeah they get weird like that so dude so you knew and how long after that
did you get engaged
well the crazy thing is super duper long story short
i created this like fake release party for a mixtape called bobby tarantino 2
that just so
happened to be on saint patrick's day but it was really basically the great gatsby
are you familiar
with the great gatsby so i created this whole party just to invite this best
egg yeah with all her
all her friends and then she ends up bringing her boyfriend no yeah it was
crazy so she brings her
boyfriend and the the dude comes in and he's like oh roger can i have a picture
with you
and immediately i was like no way he's swedish is that swedish did i just do sweden
i think so
no sweden's like this yeah or is that more german i don't know whatever i'm not
good with fucking
like if i do an irish i'd say when i do irish sound kind of jamaican at the
same time when i do
irish man yeah anyway fucking whatever bro love it long story short she she she
didn't stay with
that guy wow because they weren't like did it take and were you low-key
flirting with her what was
happening um i flirted with her but she never flirted back wow that was that
was beautiful yeah because
i was like bitch i want to take you on a private helicopter to san diego and
shit at the party i'm
like playing like a murderer no i'm not like what you mean murderer that's
gangster yeah you're right
my bad i wasn't like yo you want to go see my fucking rathead collection what
the fuck what you
mean murderer hey bitch you want to go to private jet what the fuck you're
right my bad all right
anyway yeah you're right right you're right but yeah i was definitely flirting
with her a little bit
but i was respectful i wasn't like fuck this dweeb like it wasn't like right
right and then she just
like i i they just that happened she just saw a man i'm gonna be real she was
dating no she was dating
a boy they fucking went to high school together and shit and then she saw a man
and was like what's
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