Name: Are There Bodies in the Trash?
Uploaded: 2023-11-03T13:00:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are There Bodies in the Trash?' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are There Bodies in the Trash?' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-03. Transcript available.

and they we used to call them sausage bags okay so they have compactors in the
buildings that
literally compact these things and then the guys not the ends and they're you
know anywhere from
three feet to you know four or five feet long and could somebody have put a
body in one you think
oh yeah you could have put a body in any one of them i ain't looking yeah but
all the dude is i'm
not i could give a damn yeah that dude i would tell people all the time the
minute you want to
do that and just put it in a bag i ain't looking oh that dude's selling femurs
on it exactly you know
yep half right yeah that dude's out there slinging shin bones on ebay but it's
there so somebody could
put a body in one of those bags zip it out to the garbage guy you'll never know
and the mafia used
to be involved in it right that's why they were in it when you brought up
bodies like that's the one
thing on stanton island those are the myths the tales they would put my stepfather
god rest his
soul used to work out there he was a tractor operator and he said that cars
used to come in
pimped out lincoln's and they would just all turn around and the car used to go
up to the top of the
hill never see it again wow car just disappear person disappear they'd pull out
see you later fellas
that was it it's the devil's ocean baby the landfill yeah there's a lot of
stories out there with that
landfill i wonder i wish god would just tell us how many bodies are in that
landfill sometimes i pray
sometimes that i wake up with the number in my head so a way to get if you want
to get if you decided to
decease somebody or kill somebody i don't like to use that term but make
somebody be dead immediately
in front of you let's say that uh in new york city you could put them into the
shoot in your building
the trash well i wouldn't do that like that's a little much but if you had you
know access to
the compactor okay then i think it's different but if you're going to shoot
dude 13 flights down i mean
somebody's about to hear you know there's gotta be some blood yeah you know
yeah ding ding ding ding
yeah somebody's gonna hear a wristwatch yeah exactly yeah yeah somebody's watch
is gonna connect
and something's gonna ping in and you know how that goes right so if you could
get the body down
in the compactor there's a chance it could just be thrown out in one of those
sausage bags gone
wow did you ever feel like did you ever get a weird feeling or premonition like
you're driving
the truck home like could there have been a body in there and you have no idea
at some point
whenever that's you're dumping it you would have seen something listen you you
definitely think you
could get a feeling you know if somebody comes out and says something you're
like oh maybe this dude
just whacked somebody right you know his wife ain't healthy right now she's
probably in this bag right
like i'll throw it in oh yeah but no i never i had one these two guys came out
of the house
one day hysterical crying oh yeah i'm like what the happened you know what now
and we were in that kind
of neighborhood in stan island and i'm like all right what's up our dog died i'm
like oh oh my gosh
yeah bring it to get cremated with the why are you telling me i try to cut
corners coming gay dudes
trying to cut corners could we throw it in the truck i'm like oh and i'm a i'm
a dog owner at the time
i'm a dog lover next thing you know wit on the bed dude a yellow lab this thing
had to be 100 pounds
oh and they both grabbed healed out they were crying no they were it was on the
bed they got rid of the
bed the toys the was still lined up like he was just playing and then just dead
like and they're like
okay and just launched them into the back of the truck i'm like i told my my
partner i'm like dude you
gotta i can't cycle that up man yeah like i was like oh so it's like you would
get the feeling if
somebody was like oh yeah can i throw this bag in like where's your wife yeah i
don't hear you know
i heard y'all fighting last week about garbage and you know and so what then
you tell a guy hey you
press the button i'm pressing it yeah i just you know in that case i was like
dude you i told my partner
and he was just he didn't give a he's like yeah all right yeah i was like i'll
sell its collar in an
hour yeah exactly that bed usable yeah here's that one right here garbage man
saves kittens from trash
jesus yeah i mean shana tavati probably doing this you'd be shocked man yeah
anybody ever try to put
a baby in the garbage bro so i won't tell anybody if you know no no and i'll
know if you're lying too
all right so i had like a year on a job got hurt sure i had this uh shoulder
done surgery so they do like
this mail carrying thing where you bring you know the mail to like like lower
east garages so you go to
like the main area pick up all the mail you give it to the each garage so i
pull into one of the
garages i forget somewhere in manhattan too i think oh so it's a job you can
still work even though you're
injured exactly so you i'm like in rehab you know coming back you know trying
to get my arm back together
and next thing you know i walk in the garage everybody's in tyvek suits white
tyvek you know covered head
to toe i'm i got a t-shirt and pants on i'm like what the fuck's going on here
there's a shriner's
meeting right so there's a garbage truck emptied out on the floor because they
got a phone call
that a girl put a baby in a corner basket oh i i just i don't even know if they
found it i just
you know nobody puts baby in a corner basket no nobody
i don't know if they found it on the floor so i don't even know if they found
it on the floor
but i don't know if they found it on the floor but i don't know if they found
it on the floor
but i don't know if they found it on the floor but i don't know if they found
it on the floor