Name: Theo and Caleb Pressley Go Turkey Hunting
Uploaded: 2023-11-20T17:50:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo and Caleb Pressley Go Turkey Hunting' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo and Caleb Pressley Go Turkey Hunting' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-20. Transcript available.

we went turkey hunting this weekend and uh we went with michael waddell and so
you bring up a picture of michael waddell there riley mal
back there beating off huh no i don't know if he's that guy really
let's get to a picture there of michael waddell
bro that's michael widdle okay that is not how you spell
no why the hell this guy
this guy looks like a nutsack
sorry to say that he don't think a full one but he looks like a couple parts of
it kind of put together
there you go
nope damn waddell boy w-a-d-d-e-l-l
there we go we went out there with michael waddell and now this dude hates turkeys
is that okay
he's the osama bin laden of turkeys dude yeah yeah he's a osama butterball laden
dude this guy so we
get out there what'd you think of it man what'd you think of the hunting well i
i thought it was uh
i thought it was 50 50 it was 50 fun 50 very very terribly boring and 50 really
fun yeah i like the
parts where the part that sings about hunting i thought is like you you're out
there and you kind
of think of it as like a chill vibe where you're with your boys you're maybe
popping a beer talking
listening to music but you can't drink because you have guns there's no music
because you have to be
quiet and then half the time my boys you were in the car yeah yeah well i
wouldn't don't throw me into
the car you were okay dude when i i got turkey and you were in the car well let's
tell everybody exactly
what happened so first of all we go out there all right and you set up you
bring like these little
tricks and stuff you bring like little like fans that are like uh camouflage
little and you're like
just geisha girl and out there in the field like trying to hide behind this fan
and you kind of set
like you go set up and you hide somewhere and michael's also like to set it up
like the number one turkey
hunter in the guest world oh yeah this guy could yeah i mean this guy could
just shoot an arrow into
the air and it would land in the turkey he won like a competition turkey
calling nationals yeah he was
like yeah he's like one of the best turkey callers ever so he's got that uh he's
got that verbal on
him you know he's definitely he's i mean he's a uh he's like the pavarotti of
turkey turkey callers
so he gets out there so you're kind of setting up and then he's he's like in
the distance he's like uh
do it see if you can do it
he gave me the thing i wish i brought it we could have called we could have
used it i know it showed
for real the funniest thing is he'll be like all right everyone be real calm
these guys eat they eat
ants in dirt for they can see every speck of dirt it's what they eat for a full-time
job yeah they eat
spiders buddy so if they can see that they can see you and then they have
amazing eyesight so to be
that's the thing you have to sneak up on so we're all sitting dead still
because he's telling us and
then meanwhile he's running through the field he's got the fan going like dude
they can see you for
sure so he's a fake turkey and he holds a fake turkey in front of him they can't
see him because
he's hiding behind this fake turkey that's about this big he's holding in front
of him like an
invisibility cloak yeah yeah we had like five guys hiding behind a little bitty
fake turkey like it
was crazy so but anyway the crazy part for me is and first of all i'll tell you
why i was in the car
so we did a couple of we did a couple of spots where you make the calls
everything nothing showed up
right it was like waiting for like it's almost like if you order uber eats or
something and then
it just doesn't show up or whatever the guy's lost at a certain point it's like
ah it i'll just go put
something in the oven but sometimes we would see him like it would be like if
you saw uber eats like it's got
close to your house so you go outside to grab it and he kind of just creeps up
and then just drives
past your house yeah yeah yeah they had all types of like so anyway so the
turkey you go out there
and you make the sounds and stuff and we couldn't get the we didn't get a
member we didn't get them
no so we had retired for the day the first day yeah two hours we were we were
out there two or three
hours and we said that's enough right at that point we all got in the truck and
we were leaving
and at that point we just drove past a bunch of turkeys like we'd been in the
woods looking for
turkeys well de was like i saw some gobblers over there yeah so there's another
guy that was with
us and he's like a i guess he's like a land man you know he kind of is like a
you know part man part
myth he kind of hangs out at the camp you know this fella named de was his name
and that's not a full
i guess it's not a whole name but it's he gives you half of it you know what i'm
saying he ain't
he keeps his cards yeah you kept saying dyslexic ed i don't know what it stood
for
i thought it was ed but he had the letters tangled up but uh so we get out
there and then we're riding
off and de goes i've seen i think i've seen a couple gobblers okay and uh so
gobblers are turkeys i
guess right so there's always everybody's saying oh there's a couple gobblers
right around that bend
over there it's a buzzword for sure yeah it's a buzzword and so it's like
saying synergy in a
business meeting yeah yeah or saying zeitgeist people always say oh it's in the
zeitgeist you know
um so anyway somebody pops somebody's like awesome some couple gobblers next
you know we drive past
like a bunch of turkeys and they were like i guess they were like on break or
whatever because i guess
the turkeys are like out like trying to hide from us and then they all take a
break anyway we get we
we went we couldn't find any turkeys that morning so we're leaving and there's
a bunch of turkeys just
like they're like resting their legs on the side of the road some of them are
sitting in ice tubs they're
all like it's behind the scenes we're driving through like behind the scenes
turkey bts dude yeah turkey
bts so they're like all right let's go get one of these gobblers all right so
they got these guys are
like all right we're gonna go get one because michael waddell does not like he
don't let a turkey live
he don't want to let a turkey live no he is when he locks in on a bird he locks
in on a bird he's very
very very nice and very very charismatic to people but he's that you can see
does have that switch oh
it switches after three hours we're like maybe let's go back and get some
breakfast because we've been
up since 4 40 in the morning and he was maybe we stay here yeah kill these turkeys
okay dude we'll
stay around for another minute yeah dude he won't i mean if you even mention
thanksgiving he'll just
fucking come on you yeah he kept saying all these turkeys want to do is fight
and i was like yeah
is it just the turkeys who we talking about dude so anyway they we parked the
truck you guys get out
and go back into some woods and come back a few minutes later with uh well what
happened dude the
turkey walked up on us like i mean this sounds crazy it was probably seven
yards away from me
but dude what are you going to do like we have been waiting all day we go out
there we drive all the
way to immokalee florida which is far for everyone we're doing a hunting trip
we've been planning it for
six months we're wearing camo woke up at 4 40 in the morning yeah i'm holding a
gun we're looking
for turkeys and i see one seven yards away what am i supposed to do dude put
the rifle down yeah i don't
know now look man you guys went and did it for me it was just like we've done
it we're leaving we see
a bunch of turkey talking playing like they were playing like badminton on the
side of the road so
then it's like all right let's go kill one of these bastards like oh y'all out
there someone threw me
a peace sign yeah yeah they're not yeah it was like they they seemed to it was
like i don't know i
felt like the hunt had kind of ended a little bit for that it had um and then
also the thing about
turkeys is dude these turkeys are they're two years old bro well they're fully
mature that's what he
that's what he told me i don't really know but he said two years old is fully
mature turkey he's ready
to die that's what he said but can he buy so he can serve his country but can
he buy a beer is what
i'm asking yeah okay but i just felt that was the part for me was a little sick
like if like what if
it was a two-year-old kid out there and you're hiding in the distance right
making sounds you know like
oh give me that back you know or no it's nap time you start making and he comes
over
and then you shoot him with a gun
that's the part for me that wasn't adding up man it was like you do all this
trickery to get them to
come over and then they're only two years it's deceptive it's a deceptive
business yeah and then you
literally blow yeah it blew the bird's brains out yeah it was there was some
sad parts to it yeah also
dude when i shot that rifle the whole time my only concern it was not a rifle
it was a shotgun
the only concern i had because i think that was the only time in my life i've
ever shot a shotgun
i never shot a shotgun i can't think of one time that i've done it
and my only concern was i had shot other guns like the range or whatever and i
was thinking every
time i got earplugs i was like this is gonna be loud like don't we need earplugs
and i was like no
no no you're good did i shot that thing dude it sounded like a bomb went off it
was like for like
three hours the next day we went back i wouldn't even hold a gun
my ear was hurting so bad when you're gonna hold a gun like these guys are
insane and i said to him
like oh yeah we i was like we can't even really hear that good anymore i was
like he probably can't
hear me right now and he literally said he literally said what oh we're gonna
get some gobblers
yeah it was loud that's how i would describe it was loud but we ate him so i
think that makes it like
oh they cooked it up immediately and now look though i mean it was a great
experience it was awesome
it was like it was interesting you know i didn't know what it was going to be
like
you know i mean you go out there you kind of set up i think i've always want to
fight something hand
to hand so i think it would to me it seemed like if i if i got a blade on me or
a sword even i would
go out there and fight a turkey but i think you know i think the little bit of
like let me hide behind
this tree yeah and make a sound of another you know yeah young animal and we
didn't say this but
the sound is like so it's basically a horny bird yeah like we're supposed to be
a hen we're pretending
to be a hen right trying to seduce a horny uh turkey right that's like say you're
at a rest area
right and you go in the there's some dude out there smoking against the wall
right he's out there just
smoking a cigarette and you go inside the men's restroom or the women's right
and the window
he's smoking right outside of a window that get where you can inside of the
restroom now and you're
like oh come on come on in here and get this cooter baby you know come on in
here and uh and uh just
slide up on up in this slick wallet you know you say like that right yeah and
at first he's thinking
oh that's some in there that ain't real he keeps puffing his Winston out there
yeah
and then finally you're just like you just start yelling like oh come and just
snack on these titty
nipples you know and finally put that cigarette it's like all right i'm had
enough yeah and then
right when he comes in yeah you blow his brains out yeah i would have liked to
have got one i would
go again and do it um i think who you take and who you go with is definitely
one of the best things
when i went to sat in the car uh it was just me and de in there okay so we're
in we're at the house
i think you were outside yeah and i was sitting inside and everyone had been
talking and it was
kind of a situation we were all moving around go inside outside take a break
from the conversation
go back out because you know we're talking about some sometimes you walk away
and you come back it
is what it is and he walked in i think he had just dropped this bomb on you
guys and he liked the
reception he got outside so he came in he's like i gotta get out of there they're
talking about they're
thought they're going way too deep and i was like what what they're talking
about and then he just
dropped it on me too but it was kind of a good point he was like all right so
the bible he's like
yeah bible you got adam yep he did it to you too you gotta eat you got their
two sons
where'd all other people come from
big talk how do you get the chinese how do you get japanese blacks mexicans
other people
that's what i got and i was like and i was like yeah wait how did that happen i
looked up the biblical
family tree and it's it's uh adam you got adam yeah you got eve you got their
three sons
where'd the other people come from
yeah where'd you get that next gobbler
hope you enjoyed that video and you can watch another and you can watch this
one you can watch
watch this one different options different choices some guy just brings you one
option
not this guy two options watch one this one or this one

Theo and Caleb Pressley Go Turkey Hunting

we went turkey hunting this weekend and uh we went with michael waddell and so
you bring up a picture of michael waddell there riley mal
back there beating off huh no i don't know if he's that guy really
let's get to a picture there of michael waddell
bro that's michael widdle okay that is not how you spell
no why the hell this guy
this guy looks like a nutsack
sorry to say that he don't think a full one but he looks like a couple parts of
it kind of put together
there you go
nope damn waddell boy w-a-d-d-e-l-l
there we go we went out there with michael waddell and now this dude hates turkeys
is that okay
he's the osama bin laden of turkeys dude yeah yeah he's a osama butterball laden
dude this guy so we
get out there what'd you think of it man what'd you think of the hunting well i
i thought it was uh
i thought it was 50 50 it was 50 fun 50 very very terribly boring and 50 really
fun yeah i like the
parts where the part that sings about hunting i thought is like you you're out
there and you kind
of think of it as like a chill vibe where you're with your boys you're maybe
popping a beer talking
listening to music but you can't drink because you have guns there's no music
because you have to be
quiet and then half the time my boys you were in the car yeah yeah well i
wouldn't don't throw me into
the car you were okay dude when i i got turkey and you were in the car well let's
tell everybody exactly
what happened so first of all we go out there all right and you set up you
bring like these little
tricks and stuff you bring like little like fans that are like uh camouflage
little and you're like
just geisha girl and out there in the field like trying to hide behind this fan
and you kind of set
like you go set up and you hide somewhere and michael's also like to set it up
like the number one turkey
hunter in the guest world oh yeah this guy could yeah i mean this guy could
just shoot an arrow into
the air and it would land in the turkey he won like a competition turkey
calling nationals yeah he was
like yeah he's like one of the best turkey callers ever so he's got that uh he's
got that verbal on
him you know he's definitely he's i mean he's a uh he's like the pavarotti of
turkey turkey callers
so he gets out there so you're kind of setting up and then he's he's like in
the distance he's like uh
do it see if you can do it
he gave me the thing i wish i brought it we could have called we could have
used it i know it showed
for real the funniest thing is he'll be like all right everyone be real calm
these guys eat they eat
ants in dirt for they can see every speck of dirt it's what they eat for a full-time
job yeah they eat
spiders buddy so if they can see that they can see you and then they have
amazing eyesight so to be
that's the thing you have to sneak up on so we're all sitting dead still
because he's telling us and
then meanwhile he's running through the field he's got the fan going like dude
they can see you for
sure so he's a fake turkey and he holds a fake turkey in front of him they can't
see him because
he's hiding behind this fake turkey that's about this big he's holding in front
of him like an
invisibility cloak yeah yeah we had like five guys hiding behind a little bitty
fake turkey like it
was crazy so but anyway the crazy part for me is and first of all i'll tell you
why i was in the car
so we did a couple of we did a couple of spots where you make the calls
everything nothing showed up
right it was like waiting for like it's almost like if you order uber eats or
something and then
it just doesn't show up or whatever the guy's lost at a certain point it's like
ah it i'll just go put
something in the oven but sometimes we would see him like it would be like if
you saw uber eats like it's got
close to your house so you go outside to grab it and he kind of just creeps up
and then just drives
past your house yeah yeah yeah they had all types of like so anyway so the
turkey you go out there
and you make the sounds and stuff and we couldn't get the we didn't get a
member we didn't get them
no so we had retired for the day the first day yeah two hours we were we were
out there two or three
hours and we said that's enough right at that point we all got in the truck and
we were leaving
and at that point we just drove past a bunch of turkeys like we'd been in the
woods looking for
turkeys well de was like i saw some gobblers over there yeah so there's another
guy that was with
us and he's like a i guess he's like a land man you know he kind of is like a
you know part man part
myth he kind of hangs out at the camp you know this fella named de was his name
and that's not a full
i guess it's not a whole name but it's he gives you half of it you know what i'm
saying he ain't
he keeps his cards yeah you kept saying dyslexic ed i don't know what it stood
for
i thought it was ed but he had the letters tangled up but uh so we get out
there and then we're riding
off and de goes i've seen i think i've seen a couple gobblers okay and uh so
gobblers are turkeys i
guess right so there's always everybody's saying oh there's a couple gobblers
right around that bend
over there it's a buzzword for sure yeah it's a buzzword and so it's like
saying synergy in a
business meeting yeah yeah or saying zeitgeist people always say oh it's in the
zeitgeist you know
um so anyway somebody pops somebody's like awesome some couple gobblers next
you know we drive past
like a bunch of turkeys and they were like i guess they were like on break or
whatever because i guess
the turkeys are like out like trying to hide from us and then they all take a
break anyway we get we
we went we couldn't find any turkeys that morning so we're leaving and there's
a bunch of turkeys just
like they're like resting their legs on the side of the road some of them are
sitting in ice tubs they're
all like it's behind the scenes we're driving through like behind the scenes
turkey bts dude yeah turkey
bts so they're like all right let's go get one of these gobblers all right so
they got these guys are
like all right we're gonna go get one because michael waddell does not like he
don't let a turkey live
he don't want to let a turkey live no he is when he locks in on a bird he locks
in on a bird he's very
very very nice and very very charismatic to people but he's that you can see
does have that switch oh
it switches after three hours we're like maybe let's go back and get some
breakfast because we've been
up since 4 40 in the morning and he was maybe we stay here yeah kill these turkeys
okay dude we'll
stay around for another minute yeah dude he won't i mean if you even mention
thanksgiving he'll just
fucking come on you yeah he kept saying all these turkeys want to do is fight
and i was like yeah
is it just the turkeys who we talking about dude so anyway they we parked the
truck you guys get out
and go back into some woods and come back a few minutes later with uh well what
happened dude the
turkey walked up on us like i mean this sounds crazy it was probably seven
yards away from me
but dude what are you going to do like we have been waiting all day we go out
there we drive all the
way to immokalee florida which is far for everyone we're doing a hunting trip
we've been planning it for
six months we're wearing camo woke up at 4 40 in the morning yeah i'm holding a
gun we're looking
for turkeys and i see one seven yards away what am i supposed to do dude put
the rifle down yeah i don't
know now look man you guys went and did it for me it was just like we've done
it we're leaving we see
a bunch of turkey talking playing like they were playing like badminton on the
side of the road so
then it's like all right let's go kill one of these bastards like oh y'all out
there someone threw me
a peace sign yeah yeah they're not yeah it was like they they seemed to it was
like i don't know i
felt like the hunt had kind of ended a little bit for that it had um and then
also the thing about
turkeys is dude these turkeys are they're two years old bro well they're fully
mature that's what he
that's what he told me i don't really know but he said two years old is fully
mature turkey he's ready
to die that's what he said but can he buy so he can serve his country but can
he buy a beer is what
i'm asking yeah okay but i just felt that was the part for me was a little sick
like if like what if
it was a two-year-old kid out there and you're hiding in the distance right
making sounds you know like
oh give me that back you know or no it's nap time you start making and he comes
over
and then you shoot him with a gun
that's the part for me that wasn't adding up man it was like you do all this
trickery to get them to
come over and then they're only two years it's deceptive it's a deceptive
business yeah and then you
literally blow yeah it blew the bird's brains out yeah it was there was some
sad parts to it yeah also
dude when i shot that rifle the whole time my only concern it was not a rifle
it was a shotgun
the only concern i had because i think that was the only time in my life i've
ever shot a shotgun
i never shot a shotgun i can't think of one time that i've done it
and my only concern was i had shot other guns like the range or whatever and i
was thinking every
time i got earplugs i was like this is gonna be loud like don't we need earplugs
and i was like no
no no you're good did i shot that thing dude it sounded like a bomb went off it
was like for like
three hours the next day we went back i wouldn't even hold a gun
my ear was hurting so bad when you're gonna hold a gun like these guys are
insane and i said to him
like oh yeah we i was like we can't even really hear that good anymore i was
like he probably can't
hear me right now and he literally said he literally said what oh we're gonna
get some gobblers
yeah it was loud that's how i would describe it was loud but we ate him so i
think that makes it like
oh they cooked it up immediately and now look though i mean it was a great
experience it was awesome
it was like it was interesting you know i didn't know what it was going to be
like
you know i mean you go out there you kind of set up i think i've always want to
fight something hand
to hand so i think it would to me it seemed like if i if i got a blade on me or
a sword even i would
go out there and fight a turkey but i think you know i think the little bit of
like let me hide behind
this tree yeah and make a sound of another you know yeah young animal and we
didn't say this but
the sound is like so it's basically a horny bird yeah like we're supposed to be
a hen we're pretending
to be a hen right trying to seduce a horny uh turkey right that's like say you're
at a rest area
right and you go in the there's some dude out there smoking against the wall
right he's out there just
smoking a cigarette and you go inside the men's restroom or the women's right
and the window
he's smoking right outside of a window that get where you can inside of the
restroom now and you're
like oh come on come on in here and get this cooter baby you know come on in
here and uh and uh just
slide up on up in this slick wallet you know you say like that right yeah and
at first he's thinking
oh that's some in there that ain't real he keeps puffing his Winston out there
yeah
and then finally you're just like you just start yelling like oh come and just
snack on these titty
nipples you know and finally put that cigarette it's like all right i'm had
enough yeah and then
right when he comes in yeah you blow his brains out yeah i would have liked to
have got one i would
go again and do it um i think who you take and who you go with is definitely
one of the best things
when i went to sat in the car uh it was just me and de in there okay so we're
in we're at the house
i think you were outside yeah and i was sitting inside and everyone had been
talking and it was
kind of a situation we were all moving around go inside outside take a break
from the conversation
go back out becau