Name: Stavros Halkias on Staying Thick and Finding Love
Uploaded: 2023-11-30T17:45:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavros Halkias on Staying Thick and Finding Love' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stavros Halkias on Staying Thick and Finding Love' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-30. Transcript available.

do you feel a responsibility to stay fit kind of um yeah you know what i do
every time like
a famously fat person loses weight it does feel like a betrayal i will admit
that uh but i think
i could lose 100 pounds and still be generally thick you know what i mean so it's
like i just
want i want to trim it down a little bit i want to get a little i want to get
it uh you know going
a little bit but yeah i can never be a skinny guy like you see like fat joe
literally the man's name
is fat joe he's zemped up right now oh yeah he is his humongous head skinny you
can't be skinny man
you can't take the ozempic that far get it adjust your dose have a little have
some chicharrones
and stay you know big arms little titties that's my dream just i just want
little titties i don't want
yourself yeah yeah oh yeah no i would like little arms big titties on the gas
oh you know what not
even little arms big arms little titties is a move though on a woman yeah yeah
i've seen some hot big
armed little tittied ladies big arm little titties baby that's somebody raising
them out on a mountain
yes yes yeah climbing up somebody got to go uphill pull themselves up a lot
absolutely thick very very
like the the tips of their finger basically albanian soup fingers albanian soup
stirrers
thick knuckles you know what i mean maybe bales of hay yeah that type that that
style of
although i have not i haven't tangled with too many country girls i'm open to
it
but it's just never you know i'm not around them i guess i'd love a southern i'd
love to hear a southern
accent while you know busting would be cool i'm sure you've done your favorite
hey yeah oh my god oh
my god roll tide somebody said one of my friends said that he a girl from the
south and she said she
was fixing to come oh yeah that sounds i would love to hear that i'm fixing to
come i would be like
that's awesome take your time because what it would do yeah what it would do
for me was i would hear
fixing to come and i would both get the rush of a woman saying she's about to
come but just that phrase
would make me in my head smell biscuits and think about biscuits and think
about other like southern
traditions and i think it would be a very powerful you're fixing i'll have an
olive a couple of scoops
of to come if you're fixing it if you're fixing to come well i've never had to
come yeah put some
cheese on it maybe i'll have a little of it yeah not much you know yeah all
right we ate a little bit
ago well have you ever been fat at all in your life i had a couple months where
i was fat something
happened i don't remember interesting and uh what ages oh i got in a wheelchair
oh for what i got
in a wheelchair dude i got my appendix taken out i was running the bases i was
doing baseball right
my appendix burst or whatever as a child oh my god and our coach right it was
like just some guy he
was just so fat he just hated gay people right that can happen oh yeah dude you
were like your brain
gets so fat it cuts off the empathy part of your brain so anybody different
than you you want to
just you know you want to kill them absolutely yeah and he would like try to
point to a base and he
couldn't even he was always he has to do a full body point he was like a duck
he was like john mccain
duck hunting you know he just he just couldn't go ahead make my day john mccain
just do it at uh four
degrees or under yeah yeah having to do like glute bridges to raise the gun
you get there and you can go on that track or you can just walk i'm talking
about with the
moving floor yes of course and it's like you just get on that moving floor and
you just you're not
even really thinking about your steps no you're just you know but it does feel
cool i will say
it is sorry to muddy up the analogy no it's nice but but i feel fast as shit
when i like you go on
those and you i even pick up the pace and i'm like i'm superman i'm bionic oh
you'll go fast
you'll walk on them oh wow i feel you feel so fast yeah oh you feel like you're
in a threesome i feel
no that for me historically that's uh nervous blowing it you know having the
worst time in my
life uh i've had i've had i've had a nice one but most of them yeah what city
did you have a nice one
in chicago okay and one in new york but yeah had some bad ones a couple other
places oh you've been
in a multiple multitude of them in a couple yeah my i ended my special with uh
did we talk about this
last time it feels like we don't remember because i feel like you were in one i
was in a unique one
outside of missouri yes we talked about it we talked about it grateful that
everybody made it out okay
to be honest you know it's just yeah but if you're crushing it if you're
crushing it in a threesome
that's probably what that feels like well my thing was i didn't know one of the
girls so i
like was trying to small talk while i was hooking up with this other girl so it's
like
it was like hey where are you from you know no you have family and you're just
making it just
the whole thing was just ridiculous i think you just got to turn that brain
off brother when you're you're right when the dick is hard the brain is off
that's that's i
think how it needs oh my that has been my number one problem i remember when i
used to be able to
smoke weed sometimes my erection because my brain would shut off yes and my erection
dude it would
be like oh my god it would be like somebody that had gotten to the to the top
of a hill for the first
time in its life oh my goodness this view is unbelievable stayed up there was
doing selfies
yeah dude i'm with you too that is always my problem because i when i actually
like a girl
the first time i fuck her i have been hard zero percent of the time because i'm
worried i'm gonna
blow it but then if i don't get if it's like you know just we both know the
score we're just here to
bust no problems dick wise and then again if i break through and i've been
dating somebody for a while
and i trust you know all that all the like anxiety of like does this person
like me all this when that
truly goes away not just intellectually but i feel it's going away my dick
actually truly gets hard
really and then we broke literally this happened to me where i dated somebody
and we finally i felt
like we finally got all our shit figured out and my dick was getting harder
than ever to the point
where she was like what's up with your dick like she was literally like
something's different your dick
is like actually she was like she was like mildly uncomfortable the first for
the first time ever
having sex with me she was like your dick has gotten not small anymore like
that was essentially
not big yeah not big but not small you know yeah and then literally positive we
broke up it felt good
it was positive feeling positive yeah yeah man yeah that's i i've never try and
work through that
uncomfortable phase yeah to see if there's a real phase on the other side it's
so hard for me man
it's scary i for me too that's the only girl i've ever done it with and i will
tell you this it took a
while to like get over that but once it happened it felt awesome and like i've
been too busy the last
couple years like i don't feel like a i don't know if you feel this way but it's
like on the road
constantly and shooting a special and working on other projects i don't even
feel like a person like
i barely see my friends i barely see my family you can't have a dating life
because you're just not
in a fucking city yeah for longer than whatever and so i'm really looking
forward to try to like
focusing on that in the next year i'm taking most of the next year off wow
really stuff yeah yeah i can't
good for you man i can't be if yeah i can't like from stay from the road anyway
like i'll do local
shit i'll work on my act and i'm gonna say you know you lose a lot of money
doing that but it's
like what do you have the money for yeah um but yeah dude i would say give it a
whirl it's worth it
because i felt it was and you know it ended up we weren't right for each other
for other reasons but
you know when you get you when your dick gets hard from love that's special oh
wow you know
that's a special thing yeah i want that i think i think you can have it you're
a wonderful guy
a girl would be lucky to have your truly hard dick uh anxiety free oh
i can't even imagine that really i know it is hard to imagine when it happened
to me i was so i was like
what's going on here no way yeah i can't imagine like getting like having
natural like just being
yeah re-hardation i'm re-hearted i'm a re-hard
yeah dude the way you know you're in love when you like a re-hard
yeah i do not i am like a sniper i literally have to get my wiener hard run in
there i'm like
go go go i'm like getting the signal i'm like a navy seal dude shout out my
friend land tecker but
i had to get out i would have to get erect run in there do the damage and then
yeah yeah yeah yeah
i mean before the gates even close i'd have to make it back out
Thank you.