Name: Theo and Kat Von D on Their Toughest Addictions
Uploaded: 2023-12-13T19:32:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo and Kat Von D on Their Toughest Addictions' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo and Kat Von D on Their Toughest Addictions' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-13. Transcript available.

i've been struggling to quit vaping right so i don't want to vape and so it's
just been so hard
and i realized like i'm an addict yeah you know it's like dude i will wake up
in the middle of
the night and like see if there's vape places open and stuff and then some assholes
stay started
stay open in 24 hours oh yeah like cigarettes was the hardest for me i love oh
my gosh i love smoking
yeah i love cigarettes um but i i just can't i don't want to be that that mom
like well it became
my god like vaping became my higher power in a lot of ways like if i have an
uncomfortable thought
feeling moment whatever let me hit this thing yeah and so i realized oh this is
the thing i'm serving
this like yeah whether i want to have a higher power whatever i want it to be
yeah this is whatever i am
serving this thing i show up when this whenever the little like a ping goes off
inside of me i show up
for this thing that's crazy um yeah my life revolves around smoking too and it's
funny because
um you start like treating it as like little treats like i would be tattooing
and i'd be like all right
i'll just get through like two hours and then i get a treat and then you know
you get these little breaks
and stuff and then but then everything like life becomes an inconvenience for
at least for me um i've
never talked about this before by the way like i feel like um usually when i
talk about like sobriety and
stuff you're talking about like drugs and but cigarettes were the hardest i
mean it's i just
i love the ritual of it i love the smell like like leather jackets with and
cigarettes to me is like
so sexy i just i oh sam elliott in the mask have you seen him in that no was
share remember that movie
oh yeah yeah yeah i was thinking the other mask but yeah yeah i wish sam elliott
was in that one
yeah yeah i like sam elliott i mean i don't like him like i like him but i like
him yeah
yeah but um yeah people don't talk enough about that it's yeah it's so i mean
it just this all of
it is yeah i mean i was like two packs a day what uh-huh like till recently pax
von d
huh that's crazy dude two packs a day you're lucky you look so lovely still
after having smoked i know
yeah true true and not not i know i mean like but no it's a bled yeah it's like
that's fortunate you
see some people that are just like yeah some people look like they start to
eventually like
they look like the inhale that they take off a cigarette they're just like
like like their whole body was like yeah you know yes but if i see people doing
drugs in movies i just
instantly get like sick to my stomach i'm like i just like the idea the idea of
doing drugs again
is like i'm beyond that but if i see somebody smoking a cigarette i'm like man
like i still have
that and like i can't i i can't um cheat on that yeah yeah oh i stopped at a
hot dude this is the saddest
story i remember kind of milling around a high school to see if some kid was
vaping after a school one
day when we were bathing so not cool like that's the one that's like i'm like
why just smoke a
cigarette like why would you it's like so like steampunk like with your little
things
the steampunks are the craziest they're like putting together assembling like
it's so weird just get a
cigarette and be a man god i didn't i didn't know that i was such a loser but i'm
okay this might be
the conversation i need that helps me uh yeah i just didn't uh yeah but this
yeah there's something
the people they put this yeah they like crank it and make their own vape or
whatever they like add
vanilla seasoning it's like they have a machine it has a tumble dry setting on
it like what yeah these
are the guys that are doing this is a guy let's play that can we play that let's
see one of these
yeah they're the people that blow the smoke and they what like there's there's
a team come come
like a guy you don't do any of that i don't do it no this guy's out of his mind
this guy has a 12 gauge vape
oh my god this guy this guy's wife is missing there's no reason to need that
much nicotine unless
you did something bad look at that this guy's a damn motor in it but the
craziest ones are the
competitions it's almost like it's one of those dog shows now it's like the guy
will blow a big smoke
ring and then his wife will like run and jump through it it's like what is this
it just
anyway but it's hard it is it's hard and i think since i don't have a family or
anything that i
constantly need to address then uh i feel like i probably wouldn't have quit if
i didn't have
really yeah i mean when i the minute i got pregnant like i i got the plus sign
i that was the day i
quit oh and then uh and then i started again after i had my son not right away
but like were you hiding
and doing it no no no no but that's pretty awesome that you were no no i mean i
never would post like
i've there's you'll be hard-pressed to find there's very few photos of me
smoking online but yeah um but
then when my son was two because i had my little smoking nook outside um and uh
he came out my son came
he he learned how to open doors you know and he came out i was like mommy mommy
and he's like what's
that spell and i just felt like such a loser i was like i can't i can't be that
mom so yeah oh i would
hate that being that dad what's that smell it's like oh it's cranberry lime
crush or whatever is that
your flavor ice or whatever yeah whatever no i prefer um watermelon lemon and
sometimes i'll do
watermelon lemon mango if they don't have the one that i like but it's like it's
sad it's all pretty sad i
think oh i was just like i would just buy cartons cartons yeah you buy a boatload
you'd be out there
like on the ohio river like flagging down i buy cartons and then i like my big
one of my biggest
pet peeves was like when people would ask to like bomb a cigarette you have a
carton well yeah but i've
been like i'm averaging one every 30 minutes i don't have a spare like why
would you do that like just go
buy your own that's how it was when i was when i would do drugs too like i i
remember in the beginning
it was like fun party time you're out with your friends and then the minute
that i realized like
oh no this is mine i would just start doing drugs by myself oh yeah me too yeah
like that was it like
no no sharing because there's so many freeloaders yeah and i was one of them
first of all and i'd
finally gotten some drugs so the last thing if i'm yeah it's finally time i get
to freeload off myself
you know but yeah i would go home i would get cocaine i'd go home and just do
it by myself and
it would be sad yeah oh yeah it was the saddest man uh-huh i don't know why but
yeah people do that
but yeah i think i did i'll get through a d through like going to 12 step
meetings is where i started to
build a relationship with a higher power and really believe in one before that
i just never
had it presented to me in a way that felt uh i don't know that i that it that
it like meshed you
know yeah yeah yeah yeah i think that's important i think is how you how it
comes into your life too
you know a lot of times um yeah and i just like having our power like having an
invisible friend that
um yeah i like having an invisible friend yeah yeah i feel like um i came from
the the school of
thought where you know you you have to be like empowered and um you know just
believe in yourself
and all this the this idea that you know it's kind of almost like self-worship
and um and i think in a
you know they do talk about that where it's like that you know you can't do
this on your own and i think
taking that to like the bigger picture part of it um where it's not just with
addiction that for me
i'm like i've definitely surrendered to that and i don't think there's anything
wrong you know to
humble yourself and be like i can't i can't do this on my own and so it's kind
of where i
where i you know landed i guess yeah yeah what was it like when you did you
think you really had
an addiction problem what was that like oh yeah i mean i was like a big time
user drug user loser yeah
no i mean you know i i'm like a quick learner so it's not like i can't i'm
never casual about
anything um so it's like you know what starts off as innocent and just
experimentational turns into like
like my entire existence yeah wow and i you know i that that part of my
personality i've changed i've
managed to change over the years too like i've grown up a little bit more you
know like what part of it
you mean well because i think before when i looked at like my relationships so
when i looked at like
just everything has to be an excess you know and oh and now i'm like a little
more balanced
you know and then i'm like you know i'm like you know what's going on and i'm
like you know i'm like
you know i'm like you know what's going on and i'm like you know what's going
on and i'm like
you know what's going on and i'm like you know what's going on and i'm like you
know i'm like
you know what's going on and i'm like you know what's going on and i'm like you
know