Name: Why It's So Easy to Keep a Bad Habit
Uploaded: 2024-01-10T14:30:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Why It's So Easy to Keep a Bad Habit' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Why It's So Easy to Keep a Bad Habit' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-10. Transcript available.

what's something like i notice like there's been times in my past where it's
like i think i didn't
want to change because i wanted to keep having an excuse right like i remember
even with smoking
i remember it was like um part of me didn't want to stop there was a part of me
i realized that
didn't want to stop smoking because i knew if i stopped i wouldn't and it wasn't
like a it was
kind of a subconscious part of me but i knew if i stopped i would i wouldn't
have something to blame
my inefficiency on or my what i just wouldn't have something to blame it's like
it gave me something to blame does that make any sense it does because
everything we do even things
that seem stupid or derogatory we do to meet some needs there's only six needs
people have we have
a need for comfort or certainty we have a need for variety we have a need to
feel significant unique
special important everybody has that need we have a need to feel connection and
love we have need to
grow we have need to contribute beyond ourselves it was just comfort i think
yeah it's the comfort
and the certainty what you know but there is a fear that everybody has two
fears all human beings at
some moment feel that they're not enough and to feel like you're not enough for
someone whose love you
crave makes a person crazy inside for someone who's what i didn't hear that
right somebody's whose love
you crave the average person you don't care but if somebody's love you really
want oh yeah so if you
feel like you're not enough then you feel like you won't be loved to be
worthless and unloved is like
psychological death so people drug themselves eat they do anything not to feel
that well what are your choices on
changing that well you could take on a new project build a podcast build a
business do something but
you have to take risks to do that and risks you could look like a failure you
could fail which
might look like you're worthless might look like you're not worthy of low so
subconsciously we come
up with these ways to adapt so smoking a cigarette comforts you because when
you take that
big slow breath in and blow it out nice and slow it changes the tempo in your
body completely you go from
stress wild west you can do that same without the cigarette but once you're
addicted and it becomes
the go-to some people stop smoking then they overeat because overeating puts
all the blood in your
stomach and you start to breathe slowly again and feel things and you'll let go
so you can get
certainty and comfort by those ways or you can do it by working out and
developing the sense of strength
that makes you certain or you can do the same thing day after day there's so
many ways there's positive
ways and negative ways but we also need uncertainty we need variety if you if
every day you know what's
going to happen how it's going to happen you get bored out of your mind oh yeah
but if you have so
much variety you don't know what's going to happen people freak out so these
needs bounce up against
each other and so when people do a behavior like smoking smoking will give you
comfort certainty
smoking will give you in some people's case variety because you were stressed
out now you change
your state that feels different it's called variety smoking will give you
significance if you think
it's cool although today it's a little harder to do that because most people
think you're an idiot we
put you in a separate room by yourself yeah they think you are yeah so but it
used to be i'm
cool if i smoke and some people say you can't make me not smoke i'm significant
right for some
people it's a way to connect with other people who smoke right so when you meet
one of those needs
you like it when you meet two you're really like when you meet three you get
addicted
and you get addicted to positive things you get addicted to exercise you're
addicted to working out you're
getting addicted to you know growing your business you everyone gets addicted
to something if it meets a
bunch of your needs it's amazing and in a relationship if a person is certain
that you love them and
there's always a surprise they say oh i know they love me and we have so many
surprises we have so much
variety in our life and i feel like the most important person significant and i
feel so much love
them and we're growing contributing i'm leaving nobody says that because when
your needs are met
people stay like whenever i work with couples i work hundreds of thousands
couples over the years
and they always say one of them always say i gave him or her everything
everything except what they
needed if you gave them what they needed they wouldn't be leaving do you think
we're afraid sometimes
to say what we need though too or do you think we even know what we need
sometimes most people don't
you're absolutely right most people not only don't say it but most people don't
even know it
they're not even honest with themselves yet so what do you say to somebody like
me then or i mean sorry
i'm sitting here so also me but um yeah like who's because there's ways like i
know once i right when
i weaned off of my medicine right i got to talk i actually didn't talk to my
doctor but i've gotten
off so many times over the years i felt like i knew what i was doing i did let
my close friends know
hey i'm i'm getting off my medicine let me know what we're using at the time
just uh lexapro i've been
taking right i said let me know if anything seems strange or whatever you know
but then i said more
strange than usual yeah yeah yeah yeah dude if i'm just like masturbating at
the house dude yeah
that's natural that's normal yeah that's normal behavior right but if i'm pet
shopping
you know that's a you need to call you know you're concerned call somebody i'm
looking at a dog
that's really scary can he fetch oh yeah it's getting weird um but what i'm
saying is uh yeah
so there but i started running right i knew i said that's great my biggest
thing is i don't want
to lose this bad this this opportunity to see how i'm feeling because i'm not
doing my part of taking
care of myself you know i have so much respect for you doing that it's so hard
to do but you did the
right thing which is what i teach you got to replace it with something you don't
stop doing
something you replace something else but what you're replacing it with actually
changes your
biochemistry and i don't want to run i'm starting to freaking like it dude i
met somebody yesterday
and we got some damn brooks shoes together well that's a good first step yeah
literally you're
right but you get the runner's high and it's it's a good eye for you and you're
making so it's like
it's not about stopping what you're doing it's about starting something else
that's more fulfilling
like running what needs does it meet does it make you feel comfortable
afterwards you feel
certain you're gonna feel good when you run 100 you have variety when you run
it's like a totally
different state yeah sometimes i'll go around the track this way sometimes i'll
go around the track
this way okay and do you have sense of significance like i'm really changing i'm
improving i'm becoming
more some guy the other day like this kind of tough guy was like man you've
been out there for a while
that's cool i feel good good yeah and do you feel more connected to yourself or
god when you're running
or the universe or nature or anything like that yeah i feel like i'm able to
have some kind of like my
brain will have conversations that maybe i've been meaning to have or whatever
they just kind of show
up while i'm running and do you feel like you're growing by doing this running
by getting better um
yeah i feel like it's not going to hurt me that's for sure yeah you know and
there may be some form
of contribution that'll come out of it because because you feel so much better
you'll be able to give
more so you meet at least four or five of your needs by running yeah versus the
drugs made you feel
certain did they make you feel variety um no that was the biggest problem was
boring feelings that's
the dead did they make you feel significant no no did they make you feel
connected
no no they make you feel like you're growing no contributing to others
no so it met one need but when you get in the habit of it and you're numb it's
hard to shift so it's
the only reason people shift is they hit a threshold i'll give you the
chemistry of
transformation you see how it works for you okay like there's five elements
that when they're there
people transform so the first one that usually happens is satiation satiation
means there's
nothing wrong but you've been in the same thing over and over and over again
after a while if your
favorite meal was steak and lobster and you have it every day three times a day
there's gonna be
a point where you go like there's nothing wrong with steak and lobster but man
i'm satiated right
and that makes you look around what what might what might do different but it
doesn't usually
make you change it just opens your mind to change then you need the second
element and that is
dissatisfaction now it's not just you're doing it and it's not as good now you're
doing it and it
doesn't feel good and you start to feel that in the relationship side just like
this i don't i don't
want to feel this way then that's still not enough that makes you look more for
a change that's
the second piece of chemistry the third piece of chemistry is now you hit a
threshold thresholds like
you ever been in a relationship like way too long you know oh yes yeah you knew
i'm sorry i want to
apologize to a couple of women um yeah but you knew it was wrong you knew it
wasn't serving them or
serving you but you stayed because it was certain it was hard to change well
what if i'm alone i was
afraid to say certain things yeah but if you got to the point where the way you
stay as you go it'll get
better it was better in the past or you jump to the future and say it's better
but there's a day we
hit a threshold you go it's been painful in the past it's painful today it's
gonna be painful
forever i'm out of here right that's when people start to change when you hit a
threshold you get
the fourth piece you get an insight and the inside is what's really true and
usually figure it out it's
not my partner it's not my job it's me what's going on in me and you make a
distinction and that creates
an opening like there's a chance for you to change your life in that moment you
had that when you were
here and you couldn't feel anything with this girl you felt dissatisfaction you
eventually got to a
threshold you finally said wait a second these drugs are just making me numb i
gotta do something
you had to jump through the opening because you didn't know what's on the other
side there's
uncertainty a lot of people go through all that and they get to the opening it
only stays open for
a few moments if you don't do something with the insight it closes you start
all over again you got
to go through all the time period of getting satiated and getting dissatisfied
again right
hitting a threshold and some people just never jump through the hole so i used
to kick people through the
opening yeah yeah i've seen a couple videos yeah where you've done it like whoa
so but now all right
but now what i do more is i i bring them the opening over and over and get them
to jump through
so they get the muscle because otherwise it might last a year or two but it's
not gonna last forever
if you do it you got a chance to make lasting for a long time but you went
through that chemistry
but very few people do yeah you got dissatisfied enough
Thank you.