Name: A New Way To Address America's Border Crisis
Uploaded: 2024-01-22T15:00:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A New Way To Address America's Border Crisis' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A New Way To Address America's Border Crisis' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-22. Transcript available.

um i know you went and visited the border we had a border patrol security uh we
had a gentleman on
here who was the head of the border patrol Chris Clem no this guy he had
retired uh Roy Villarreal
okay he came on here this is two years ago and he was talking about one of the
biggest issues that
he was noticing at the border this was in Arizona that was his jurisdiction was
that um they people
were getting the the the legislative branches weren't working well so like they
would arrest
people but they weren't prosecuting them so they would get just the same people
back over and over
again so it seemed like such a goose chase um well it's gotten 100 times worse
now wow because now
that people are just i mean i was there between 2 and 4 a.m in the morning i
watched 300 people just
walk across and then the border patrol brings them to the airport and um you
know they brought they
fingerprint them if they're criminal then they go into a different you know
line but the rest of them
are brought to the yuma airport given a um uh uh ticket to any place they want
to go in the united states
and then we pay for it if they don't have the money for it and you know they've
110 000 planted in new
york and this is a humanitarian crisis i i talked to the people who are coming
over they've been exploited
extorted beaten what's what's happened is the the whole thing's run by the mexican
drug cartel we saw the
buses they have white buses the cartel owns 55 people a bus they pick them up
in mexico and they
bring them to the border and they let them out the people who come out are from
every country they're
not what you know they're right they're from all over and they have to pay the
cartels they're from
asia right they have to pay the cartels to get through their land 50 well right
but they pay them
usually up front 10 to 15 000 to get them across the united states and the cartels
are advertising
all over the world and they're advertising on youtube tick tock they're telling
you exactly
what's going to happen to you they come across and then what happens is they're
given by the border
patrol the border there's nine border patrol committed suicide because that
what they're being asked to do
is not their job they're just escorting people seven million people have come
across illegally in three
years and legal immigration during that period was 3.1 million so the cartels
are literally controlling
our immigration policy and uh well what's the solution to it we have a video
that i made you know an 18
minute video that shows what happened but but you were only down there for what
how long were you down
there for i was there for three days okay and then um you know and then we've
been dealing you know we
made the film we you know i've been writing a lot about it researching it and
it can totally be be
shut down overnight they're not and what happens is people think well well
there you go there's a big
all those people but i just wonder is that a long enough like time to go see it
like three days is that
a real i had three intense days of first of all the first night watching all
these people come and then
spending the next days with local law enforcement local sheriff's department
the ice the border patrol
all the local medical systems the doctors and doing you know interviews no it's
good to talk with those
people that's why we wanted the guy because we kept hearing the border but it
gets it gets like becomes
like this political like red rover that that that different parties use and you
never know what's going on
that's why we wanted a border patrol agent until we could really see what
happens there's a guy called
chris klem who was the head of the border patrol at yuma and he's fantastic and
he's giving us advice
but you know what happens is a lot of the democrats think oh we're being kind
to these people by letting
them in but then we're not in fact what happens is they're given a court date
for seven years in the
future to go to the asylum court so they have seven years in this country where
they're they have no legal
status so they're not allowed to work so they um they they'll work for five or
seven you know you
have unscrupulous employers yeah five or six bucks an hour and then you know
they're they're employed on
construction sites in new york the employee of the construction company that's
employing them
is competing for bids against the union labor company ah and he can use the
unit because he's paying six
bucks an hour right so but just but just as guilty as the as the people who are
undermining the system
right as they are of undermining the system people can have their own like uh
social beliefs about it
but there is guilt of undermining what the system is that's in place but those
the people that pay
them to work are also guilty right if they're yeah i mean what i you know what
here's what i would do
and first of all you need you need to hire a thousand asylum judges and you
need to adjudicate
before people come in once they come in they're entitled to stay here to get a
court date put them
right on the border like judge you exactly and they adjudicate right there and
um and and then it will
shut down the border and but most of the people 99 of the people we interviewed
didn't even have an
asylum claim they just said i'm here to work right i want a job right and so
they you know they are not
inside they have to come through the regular line like everybody else legally
yeah that's what's fair
is just doing it legally because you can't keep if you don't have accounting in
inventory of your
business then you're bound to go yeah you know um i'll tell you how you shut it
down overnight and
this is what i'm going to do the day i get into office i'm going to waive
passport fees for all
any american who can't afford it now what that means is if you can get a
passport card i don't know
if you've seen i got it looks like a license right it's a federal id with your
picture on it
and the problem is it costs 65 dollars and there's some paperwork attached that
makes it difficult for
very poor people to get them and so there's a lot of people in our country who
are poor particularly
in cities who don't drive cars they don't have a driver's license they have no
government issued id
now if you don't have a government issued id you're a second class citizen you
cannot open a bank account
which means you're using you know the the uh pay paycheck uh you know companies
that take 10 of your
social security check the cashier check you can't get on an airplane you can't
stay at a hotel you
can't visit your kids at school and um so what i'm going to do there's 33 000
post office in this
country i'm going to make it very easy for any american citizen who can't
afford it to go down to the
local post office and get a passport id once they do that you now tell
employers you cannot hire somebody
unless they have that passport id i will shut down the border overnight because
nobody's going to come
through if they know they cannot get a job because now you're probably now you
can prosecute employers
right now what they do the employer construction firm in new york they they're
just they don't care
if you're legal or illegal they just want somebody who's cheap as possible and
that they can check the
box so they ask for social security security card the social security card has
no picture on it
they're easily fabricated and they're handed you know passed down from person
to person oh yeah those
things are nuts right and so you can't put the employer in jail because he says
hey i i got a social
security card but now you're telling the employer the employer it's illegal for
the employer to do
do it right and now you're saying you got to have a passport card or you're
going to jail okay that at
that point all illegal employment dries up overnight nobody is going to employ
somebody with the risk of
going to prison and but and one other thing it'll do is that um it will solve a
lot of the anxieties
that people have republicans particularly about voting because they say oh you
know these people are coming
in and they're voting people are voting without id and they're double voting
they're committing voting
fraud well now everybody has an id and you can't have any of that kind of
voting fraud and and the
democrats support it i mean the democrats will support it although biden won't
sign this bill but um but
you know the big civil rights leaders like andy young al sharpton are all
behind this idea this idea so we
can solve all these problems and the anxieties and the debate about the voting
system and whether you
need id or not to vote right now democrats oppose id laws and the reason they
they oppose it is they
say if you get if you force people to show an id you're disenfranchising a lot
of students who don't
have driver's license you're disenfranchising poor people who live in the city
who don't have driver's license
and there's other people in the country elderly people a lot of their license
have lapsed so they
don't have id and you disenfranchise all of those those are all democrats so
the democrats say we
shouldn't have id laws now we've got civil rights leaders who are saying yeah
let's have ids to vote
but let's give everybody an id so everybody can get one right then nobody has
an excuse and nobody has an
excuse yeah what do you say to so some people would say that that that takes
away some of the old like
adage and the old like uh romantic idea of like um you can come to america and
you can make it here
does that does that do that by making the border because what are you doing
making the border more
organized you're not saying there's no country in the world that that has an
insecure border yeah
we have we have to be able to control 100 who comes in now what i would do i
think we should have high
fences but wide gates we should let a lot of people in legally make it much
easier to get citizenship
um and make sure that there's plenty of people to you know to uh to for
employers etc so that we can
keep our country humming yeah right and but we should be able to select who
comes through not have the
mexican drug cartel select i agree