Name: Theo Was Shocked the First Time He Saw Fancy Food
Uploaded: 2024-02-09T15:00:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Was Shocked the First Time He Saw Fancy Food' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Was Shocked the First Time He Saw Fancy Food' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-09. Transcript available.

When I was in high school, I went to live with this family and had a, at the
edge of the neighborhood, they had a fancy little sandwich and liquor shop
called Dakota's Wine and Feed.
And they had, dude, they had all type of cheeses in there.
They had Groivare.
They had damn, um, Saint-Sierre.
You know, they had that bouillabaisse.
They had all kind of fucking shit.
French shit.
I mean, let's be honest, stuff that's fancy is French.
That bouillabaisse, bruh.
That brie.
That, that Groivare.
And these are mostly, before that, all the, if I ever even heard a word, one of
these words, it was usually like kind of a middle name of like a black friend
of mine.
You know?
Oh, that's fucking Jerry Groivare Jackson right there.
You know?
Oh, that's Shantisha Brie.
Crandall.
You know?
So these, before that, that's all it was.
But now I'm hearing, they had these different types of meats, man.
Proseado.
They had, um, what else?
I don't even know.
Fucking lamb.
I didn't even know people was trying to eat lambs, dude.
Where I'm from, you would never eat a lamb.
If you saw a lamb, you'd pet it or look at it while you're trying to go to
sleep.
And then you get over into these fancier areas and these bitches are eating lambs,
dude.
First of all, lamb, uh, number one animal in the Bible.
How about that?
Maybe don't eat it.
Maybe don't eat lamb.
Just for the sole thought that, you know, they say the lamb of God.
Maybe God's trying to drop you a H-I-N-T on what not to H-U-N-T.
You feel me?
Don't kill lambs.
And then you go to these fancy neighborhoods and they eat, you know, they got
them lamb scallions and fucking, you see some rich dude, he's driving a Corvette
and he's just throwing chunks of lamb in the air.
And his little son, little Fauntleroy the fifth, he's catching them in his jaw.
And they out here eating the, eating the damn, just fucking, just nibble snacking
on the Lord doing 45 miles an hour in a school zone and probably wearing shoes
made out of damn chocolate.
And that's who they are, boy, rich people.
So anyway, I would work in there and I would save these pieces of, um, I would
save up all the nice stuff off of these, the things that rich people didn't eat.
I would save it on one plate.
And at the end of the night, I would make me a big ass sandwich, bro.
One huge, rich hitter, dude.
And I'd put the, with the washing machine down for the last time that, you know,
you close it with the handle and they got all the dishes in there and it's, and
you could just steam, just, this, this heat coming off that bitch, just, I mean,
moisturizing your skin.
I look like about a damn nine month old, just standing there, just the heat off
of that thing.
And you could hear the cups and the glasses and the last salad dish bowls and
the ladles, everything all just getting, because I'd pack that bitch full of
dishes.
You're supposed to put nine dishes, dishes in that, in that, uh, in that thing.
And I put 78 dishes in that bitch and four spoons.
And that heat was just coming off and I was just, and I'd pick up that big,
huge sandwich, bro, and just take a bite of that thing and say, one damn will
have me something nice.
I used to do that, man.
I used to do that, man.
I used to do that, man.
I used to do that, man.
I used to do that, man.
I used to do that, man.
I used to do that, man.
I used to do that, man.
I used to do that, man.