Name: Dax Shepard on Vices, Addiction and Getting Sober
Uploaded: 2024-03-13T22:00:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dax Shepard on Vices, Addiction and Getting Sober' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dax Shepard on Vices, Addiction and Getting Sober' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-13. Transcript available.

this is a plunger for a bomb i put in the lobby
do you know it's banaca that's breast no it's nicorette it's straight nicotine
oh really yeah
no delivery device just straight nicotine are you into nicotine yeah i've been
into it i don't let
me see i'll hold it for a second because i um yeah i was doing nicotine for a
long time and then
i've had 14 days off and i'm on the oh well then give me that back yeah well
now i've had one day
off oh then take it let's just let's leave it right here okay well it's tbd
yeah this is just there but
one of uh my another comedian on the tour boss had um a vape on him oh i had a
moment at night it was
just like i was falling apart i don't know it was just because sometimes if i'm
up too late then i'll
do something to damage myself like of course i'll like do a watch a uh do queue
up some porno
or preferred website you do but you don't want to promote it i mean i just don't
know yeah it doesn't
matter it's not an important question i mean a lot of the websites i'm not i
don't do a lot of porn but
i'm increasingly wanting to no and and um i'm wondering if i'm on the right
website because i
think you strike me as a pro and i don't say that judgmentally but i feel like
you've been to every
corner of the internet i've been through some yeah i've been through some
probably i don't want to
call them wormholes but sure yeah i've been through some time yeah so i want
you to jedi me just a tiny
bit and be like save some time this is where you want to be what happens to me
so i'd be up late and i'll
be kind of antsy or whatever and i'll probably have been doing some vaping and
so then i'm like all
right well might as well watch a little bit of porno pornography you know yeah
just to cap the
night off because i'm a king bookend yeah because i do what i want to do yeah
so next thing you know
i'm queued up on there and i have this fear now that the they the porno sites
are videoing you back
that's how they get people like down the line is like they're like oh yes for
blackmail
so it's like do you pep tape over your camera or anything that would be smart
oh my god here's what
i'm doing dude i do something crazy what do you do i put the screen at like an
angle where it can only
kind of see the ceiling or whatever and then i kind of like oh my lord i'll
like lean off and kind of
masturbate at like an angle kind of yeah sideways like i'm the guy that does
those uh remember that
picture they used to have on this on the school on the wall the staircases that
interchanged or whatever
the escher mcs yes mcs yeah i'll take like a real mcs or angle sure penis is
off to your right hip just
making sure i'm out of the way okay but let's drill down into because i think i
know exactly what you
that started with it started with you're too late my addiction was only curbed
by my me being broke
right because you're in recovery right yeah yeah okay me too yeah yeah so well
that's it i think i
thought i think that's what actually like turbocharged me reaching out to you
yeah it's like i just liked
you and then i was talking to a friend of mine charlie about you and he's like
oh i love him yeah i
listen to his pockets he goes you know he's he's like sober i think he's like
18 months sober and i was
like oh wow now i really have a reason i could reach out that's cool man but
yeah i quit was nice of
you i'm glad you did yeah yeah we've already had a couple really nice text
exchanges yeah we have man
we had a nice one the other day and um yeah it's been fun man um yeah i like
meeting people that are
in recovery i feel a lot easier around people that are in recovery for some
reason and i don't know
even what it is if there's a different immediate like level of like care or
connection what do you
think about it i think it's what's weird is looking back on my life it
parallels exactly who i also hung
out with as a kid which is i only hung out with kids on welfare who also had
divorced parents who also
probably had violence in the household i like being around people that i don't
think are going to judge me
and in the program everyone there is a scumbag everyone's a piece of that's why
we're there
and like the great like experience you have if you go to aa and you work the
steps is you're like you've
made this list of things you've done wrong and you you're you're you're
required to tell somebody
and generally it's your sponsor or whatever yeah and you're certain when you
walk in there and you
let them have this list of things you regret that they're gonna call the police
on you or throw up
in disgust with you and they look at you they're almost laughing like well that's
it well you didn't
any animals that's like i'm impressed you haven't any animals and then you're
like well read the back
of that yeah oh you're right um i left something out but that look of like yeah
me too is the most
comforting thing for me yeah there'll be times when i'm in a meeting and like
you're sitting there and
somebody says something and you can feel this is crazy it's it's almost like
how volleyball teams
all get their period at the same time you can feel like everybody in the room
at the same time like
yeah yeah yeah yeah you ever had that happen oh yeah for sure and you're like
it's almost like a group of fish or something like yeah some of the words all
change direction yeah
yeah some of the steam leaves at the same time out of every it's it's got it's
it's got to be some
physiological thing but it's unbelievable yeah so we we will match our
breathing when we're connected
our heart rates will match all this crazy that's true start mirroring yeah this
is like scientifically
proven time and time again so yes that moment in a meeting it's like it's
chaotic someone fought over
a parking spot another guy just got broken up with blah blah blah blah this
person like sledgehammers
through generally for me when i've experienced it like with some moment of
vulnerability like i just
failed at this thing and we all go like wait oh god i know exactly what it
feels like to fail in that
specific way yeah and now all of us have joined like the same brain pattern so
i think it's not
like it's not imagined i think it's physiologically observable huh and it's so
powerful yeah it's when
you realize like oh yeah we're social monkeys and we're supposed to be in a
group like this and we're
supposed to be dialed in and it feels right what was your um preferred
substance cocaine yeah
oh yeah what a drug i just had bateman on last week oh i love him he's
fascinating to look at
he has one of those faces you can tell why he's an actor because it's just the
most everything about
it is so engaging and interesting yes yes you could just stare at it yeah it's
interesting when he's
you're just like he just yeah do some thinking for me bateman i'll watch take
your time too yeah yeah
but he was a hoover admittedly uh loves to party yeah yeah yeah and so we were
talking and i said do
you ever do you ever i said i'm not gonna do this but i was directing chips and
i was talking to an actor
on the uh movie and she said that she and her boyfriend had gone and stayed at
cocaine hotel in
in uh columbia i was like cocaine hotel what's cocaine hotel she's like it's a
it's do you know about
the cocaine it's everywhere it's on the tables everywhere you go in the rooms
uh at the thing
it's a it's a hotel to do cocaine and i said do you ever bateman do you ever
think about just
spending a few days down at cocaine he's like well i don't know i mean there's
so much in coke now and
i said no no i think this is farm to table coke i think the guys are stomping
on it in the backyard
bringing it in a dustpan and dropping it off i think this is as medicinal and
pure as well that's
what we need in this country dude make coke great again we need farm to table
cocaine you got your
vegetables we did that you got your farm to table vegetables now let's it's sad
that a kid can't get
some decent cocaine in this country it really is yeah you knew you were going
to be huffing some some
baby laxative and some acetylene or whatever you you knew that but but now it's
different well that's
when you connect the dots that like oh because i connected these dots in sobriety
which is like
oh this is the exact same thing like whether i want to acknowledge it or not
this sex thing
and this approval thing is identical to cocaine yeah um i had like the most visceral
experience of my life
that pointed that out to me well i had two um one was and i was a few years
sober and i was single
and i was on myspace yeah and i was on tv oh my gosh yeah just take that in for
a second so you were
just damn prince charles or whatever i was enjoying the out of my space and
also i had not
i hadn't looked at the sex component as potentially harmful to me yet yeah but
i remember a gal came
over and you were good at sex you said i mean what could be more nauseating
than a guy saying they're
good at yeah that's out loud so that's just a lose-lose for me we'll just
pretend that you're okay okay
i certainly some people aren't good some people you know also let's be honest
the more you the the
better you are like you're not coming as fast you're like right sure you've had
periods where
you've seven days in a row no i never i was always too lazy to do something
like that i think oh really
yeah you were saved by your lethargy if they've had sex twice in a week or yeah
i was always very like
it was like it took a while yeah just like yeah well okay so i need to preface
this by i'm ashamed
of this what i'm about to tell you like i am ashamed of this but this is very
true i was a few
years sober i was single someone had come over that i had met on myspace and i
was giving them a tour
of the house and i was in the first room of the tour and i had this thought
that was like oh this tour is
so long you had a big house no i didn't have a big house there was i was like
but then i thought
what is this i have a very familiar feeling like it's it's it's unmissable this
feeling i have right now
and i like took a second to try to figure out like what i know this feeling i
know this feeling what
is this what is this and i was like oh my god i know exactly what this is this
is sitting in my old
drug dealer tom's living room while he measured out and told me about his day
and got distracted by
telling me about his day and i wanted to scream just like give me a bump and i'll
listen
to you forever but focus and give me the thing like that that impatience oh yes
teamwork you want teamwork
yes just like knock off the give me the thing and then let's talk be all ears
for
eternity yeah but that feeling was is so specific to me that in that moment in
the room i realized oh my god
it's the same thing i'm like i need this woman to give me the thing i need and
i hate that i hate that
about myself i hate that for her i hate all of it it's just i don't want to be
insatiably needing
something from somebody and dependent on them giving me the thing and i was
like whoa so that was one
moment where i was like oh god they're kind of the same thing right and once i
recognized that i'm
like i probably have to think about it in those terms like do i feel worse
about myself are people
you know are they benefiting from you know whatever then the other crazy thing
that happened that really
sealed it for me was i was monogamous it was for the first time in like a
decade and so and then i was
talking to my then girlfriend who was in boston doing something and she told
this story about
bumping into somebody i knew she cheated on her ex-boyfriend with and they're
all at the same hotel
i'm thinking like well i'm sure they fucked right so i'm like i'm mad driving i'm
driving in a in the
car on the 405 and i had been monogamous at that point for like three months we
get in a kind of fight
over that and we hang up and i just had this like swell like a swell of horniness
the way you do when
it's like i gotta get coke or i got whatever that really big swell and all of a
sudden i was so horny
and i was like i'm gonna i'm gonna text kelly i'm gonna text kelly right now
and um i can stop by her
i'm not supposed to because i'm now i'm monogamous blah blah and then i just
had a moment where i was
like that's interesting you're you're in a fight you feel emasculated by
whatever just happened
and your body's smart enough to go well let's get horny you won't have to feel
any of this if you're
horny and we're at kelly's house and you're getting validated and you come all
this stuff i was like
fuck this is like a defense yeah because it's just like any other thing i'm so
afraid of my feelings
or feeling uncomfortable that your body created some defense my body was ahead
of me yeah i hung up i
didn't even register what had just happened and all of a sudden i'm like i am
physically horny it's not
like i made it up yeah and those two things for me i was like yeah this is a
this is a whole thing we
gotta figure out yeah wow man yeah that's the that's the craziest part is that
a lot of times it's not
even you making a choice it could be you choosing once you get the input but
your like physiological
ness is making the it's dealing you the cards and you're like and again back to
the brain the area of
your brain that's now sucking up all the blood and running the show isn't the
part of your brain your
neocortex where you would think through all the things that are going to happen
after this yeah
it's like you're not even you're these two areas can't be doing the thinking at
the same time so once
that swell of like craving comes about this is offline yeah you're like i don't
i'm never going to see
tomorrow or that's tomorrow dex's problem you're right i think i'm bad for him
but today's dex is about
to get up and feel good yes yeah it's like it everything the ability to have
any comprehension
really or any forward thinking completely disappears that's crazy bro i mean it
disappears yeah it's gone
it's unbelievable access it
it's unbelievable access it's unbelievable access it's unbelievable access it's
unbelievable access it's

Dax Shepard on Vices, Addiction and Getting Sober

this is a plunger for a bomb i put in the lobby
do you know it's banaca that's breast no it's nicorette it's straight nicotine
oh really yeah
no delivery device just straight nicotine are you into nicotine yeah i've been
into it i don't let
me see i'll hold it for a second because i um yeah i was doing nicotine for a
long time and then
i've had 14 days off and i'm on the oh well then give me that back yeah well
now i've had one day
off oh then take it let's just let's leave it right here okay well it's tbd
yeah this is just there but
one of uh my another comedian on the tour boss had um a vape on him oh i had a
moment at night it was
just like i was falling apart i don't know it was just because sometimes if i'm
up too late then i'll
do something to damage myself like of course i'll like do a watch a uh do queue
up some porno
or preferred website you do but you don't want to promote it i mean i just don't
know yeah it doesn't
matter it's not an important question i mean a lot of the websites i'm not i
don't do a lot of porn but
i'm increasingly wanting to no and and um i'm wondering if i'm on the right
website because i
think you strike me as a pro and i don't say that judgmentally but i feel like
you've been to every
corner of the internet i've been through some yeah i've been through some
probably i don't want to
call them wormholes but sure yeah i've been through some time yeah so i want
you to jedi me just a tiny
bit and be like save some time this is where you want to be what happens to me
so i'd be up late and i'll
be kind of antsy or whatever and i'll probably have been doing some vaping and
so then i'm like all
right well might as well watch a little bit of porno pornography you know yeah
just to cap the
night off because i'm a king bookend yeah because i do what i want to do yeah
so next thing you know
i'm queued up on there and i have this fear now that the they the porno sites
are videoing you back
that's how they get people like down the line is like they're like oh yes for
blackmail
so it's like do you pep tape over your camera or anything that would be smart
oh my god here's what
i'm doing dude i do something crazy what do you do i put the screen at like an
angle where it can only
kind of see the ceiling or whatever and then i kind of like oh my lord i'll
like lean off and kind of
masturbate at like an angle kind of yeah sideways like i'm the guy that does
those uh remember that
picture they used to have on this on the school on the wall the staircases that
interchanged or whatever
the escher mcs yes mcs yeah i'll take like a real mcs or angle sure penis is
off to your right hip just
making sure i'm out of the way okay but let's drill down into because i think i
know exactly what you
that started with it started with you're too late my addiction was only curbed
by my me being broke
right because you're in recovery right yeah yeah okay me too yeah yeah so well
that's it i think i
thought i think that's what actually like turbocharged me reaching out to you
yeah it's like i just liked
you and then i was talking to a friend of mine charlie about you and he's like
oh i love him yeah i
listen to his pockets he goes you know he's he's like sober i think he's like
18 months sober and i was
like oh wow now i really have a reason i could reach out that's cool man but
yeah i quit was nice of
you i'm glad you did yeah yeah we've already had a couple really nice text
exchanges yeah we have man
we had a nice one the other day and um yeah it's been fun man um yeah i like
meeting people that are
in recovery i feel a lot easier around people that are in recovery for some
reason and i don't know
even what it is if there's a different immediate like level of like care or
connection what do you
think about it i think it's what's weird is looking back on my life it
parallels exactly who i also hung
out with as a kid which is i only hung out with kids on welfare who also had
divorced parents who also
probably had violence in the household i like being around people that i don't
think are going to judge me
and in the program everyone there is a scumbag everyone's a piece of that's why
we're there
and like the great like experience you have if you go to aa and you work the
steps is you're like you've
made this list of things you've done wrong and you you're you're you're
required to tell somebody
and generally it's your sponsor or whatever yeah and you're certain when you
walk in there and you
let them have this list of things you regret that they're gonna call the police
on you or throw up
in disgust with you and they look at you they're almost laughing like well that's
it well you didn't
any animals that's like i'm impressed you haven't any animals and then you're
like well read the back
of that yeah oh you're right um i left something out but that look of like yeah
me too is the most
comforting thing for me yeah there'll be times when i'm in a meeting and like
you're sitting there and
somebody says something and you can feel this is crazy it's it's almost like
how volleyball teams
all get their period at the same time you can feel like everybody in the room
at the same time like
yeah yeah yeah yeah you ever had that happen oh yeah for sure and you're like
it's almost like a group of fish or something like yeah some of the words all
change direction yeah
yeah some of the steam leaves at the same time out of every it's it's got it's
it's got to be some
physiological thing but it's unbelievable yeah so we we will match our
breathing when we're connected
our heart rates will match all this crazy that's true start mirroring yeah this
is like scientifically
proven time and time again so yes that moment in a meeting it's like it's
chaotic someone fought over
a parking spot another guy just got broken up with blah blah blah blah this
person like sledgehammers
through generally for me when i've experienced it like with some moment of
vulnerability like i just
failed at this thing and we all go like wait oh god i know exactly what it
feels like to fail in that
specific way yeah and now all of us have joined like the same brain pattern so
i think it's not
like it's not imagined i think it's physiologically observable huh and it's so
powerful yeah it's when
you realize like oh yeah we're social monkeys and we're supposed to be in a
group like this and we're
supposed to be dialed in and it feels right what was your um preferred
substance cocaine yeah
oh yeah what a drug i just had bateman on last week oh i love him he's
fascinating to look at
he has one of those faces you can tell why he's an actor because it's just the
most everything about
it is so engaging and interesting yes yes you could just stare at it yeah it's
interesting when he's
you're just like he just yeah do some thinking for me bateman i'll watch take
your time too yeah yeah
but he was a hoover admittedly uh loves to party yeah yeah yeah and so we were
talking and i said do
you ever do you ever i said i'm not gonna do this but i was directing chips and
i was talking to an actor
on the uh movie and she said that she and her boyfriend had gone and stayed at
cocaine hotel in
in uh columbia i was like cocaine hotel what's cocaine hotel she's like it's a
it's do you know about
the cocaine it's everywhere it's on the tables everywhere you go in the rooms
uh at the thing
it's a it's a hotel to do cocaine and i said do you ever bateman do you ever
think about just
spending a few days down at cocaine he's like well i don't know i mean there's
so much in coke now and
i said no no i think this is farm to table coke i think the guys are stomping
on it in the backyard
bringing it in a dustpan and dropping it off i think this is as medicinal and
pure as well that's
what we need in this country dude make coke great again we need farm to table
cocaine you got your
vegetables we did that you got your farm to table vegetables now let's it's sad
that a kid can't get
some decent cocaine in this country it really is yeah you knew you were going
to be huffing some some
baby laxative and some acetylene or whatever you you knew that but but now it's
different well that's
when you connect the dots that like oh because i connected these dots in sobriety
which is like
oh this is the exact same thing like whether i want to acknowledge it or not
this sex thing
and this approval thing is identical to cocaine yeah um i had like the most visceral
experience of my life
that pointed that out to me well i had two um one was and i was a few years
sober and i was single
and i was on myspace yeah and i was on tv oh my gosh yeah just take that in for
a second so you were
just damn prince charles or whatever i was enjoying the out of my space and
also i had not
i hadn't looked at the sex component as potentially harmful to me yet yeah but
i remember a gal came
over and you were good at sex you said i mean what could be more nauseating
than a guy saying they're
good at yeah that's out loud so that's just a lose-lose for me we'll just
pretend that you're okay okay
i certainly some people aren't good some people you know also let's be honest
the more you the the
better you are like you're not coming as fast you're like right sure you've had
periods where
you've seven days in a row no i never i was always too lazy to do something
like that i think oh really
yeah you were saved by your lethargy if they've had sex twice in a week or yeah
i was always very like
it was like it took a while yeah just like yeah well okay so i need to preface
this by i'm ashamed
of this what i'm about to tell you like i am ashamed of this but this is very
true i was a few
years sober i was single someone had come over that i had met on myspace and i
was giving them a tour
of the house and i was in the first room of the tour and i had this thought
that was like oh this tour is
so long you had a big house no i didn't have a big house there was i was like
but then i thought
what is this i have a very familiar feeling like it's it's it's unmissable this
feeling i have right now
and i like took a second to try to figure out like what i know this feeling i
know this feeling what
is this what is this and i was like oh my god i know exactly what this is this
is sitting in my old
drug dealer tom's living room while he measured out and told me about his day
and got distracted by
telling me about his day and i wanted to scream just like give me a bump and i'll
listen
to you forever but focus and give me the thing like that that impatience oh yes
teamwork you want teamwork
yes just like knock off the give me the thing and then let's talk be all ears
for
eternity yeah but that feeling was is so specific to me that in that moment in
the room i realized oh my god
it's the same thing i'm like i need this woman to give me the thing i need and
i hate that i hate that
about myself i hate that for her i hate all of it it's just i don't want to be
insatiably needing
something from somebody and dependent on them giving me the thing and i was
like whoa so that was one
moment where i was like oh god they're kind of the same thing right and once i
recognized that i'm
like i probably have to think about it in those terms like do i feel worse
about myself are people
you know are they benefiting from you know whatever then the other crazy thing
that happened that really
sealed it for me was i was monogamous it was for the first time in like a
decade and so and then i was
talking to my then girlfriend who was in boston doing something and she told
this story about
bumping into somebody i knew she cheated on her ex-boyfriend with and they're
all at the same hotel
i'm thinking like well i'm sure they fucked right so i'm like i'm mad driving i'm
driving in a in the
car on the 405 and i had been monogamous at that point for like three months we
get in a kind of fight
over that and we hang up and i just had this like swell like a swell of horniness
the way you do when
it's like i gotta get coke or i got whatever that reall