Name: Roll Tide Willie Crashes the Podcast
Uploaded: 2024-03-20T23:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Roll Tide Willie Crashes the Podcast' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Roll Tide Willie Crashes the Podcast' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-20. Transcript available.

I got actually brought um Roll Tide Willie here. You brought Roll Tide Willie?
I brought Roll Tide
Willie here. From the internet? And we also we have yes yes. Dude my buddy's
dad was in the military
with him. I swear. Yeah my buddy's dad was in the military with him. With Roll
Tide Willie? Yeah.
Yeah Roll Tide. Yeah Roll Tide. Wait wait wait wait. That beer's good. Yeah. No
jokes aside.
My friend's dad was in the military with him. How the fuck do you know this? He
lives in Alabama.
Yeah my friend's dad um is from Alabama. Oh shit. And they were in the military
together. That's
fucking crazy. Yeah I want to bring him in here. Let's bring him in man. Yeah.
RT Dub at the gang bro.
Roll Tide. Hey. Yeah. We rolling? Roll Tide. Roll Tide. Yeah man. Brought the
legend man. You know.
There he is Willie. You flew in. How was that flight bro? Oh that flight was
all right. But I it was a long one. I didn't think I was gonna ever get
there. Yeah. Man man said be about 30 minutes. It seemed like we rolled for
another hour and a half.
Yeah. Have you flown before Willie? I flew in a little small jet before not no
big one. What the hell
are you doing on a small jet? I worked with a man and he had a little small jet.
Now you were in the
military. Willie I think you were in the military with my friend's dad. Yeah he
said um you went to the
military with his dad at one point. Were you in the military? I gotta translate
to him. It's a certain
way. He don't really um yeah he was in the military with my friend's dad. So he's
saying uh you know how
you were down there at Roll Tide. Yeah. And uh you know out in uh Tuscaloosa.
Right. Uh you were Bama boy
and and in the past you you went and you did stuff in the army. Right. Yeah he
got a buddy that did
stuff in the army with you. Right. What branch was he in? Uh what branch of the
army? Uh he was in the uh
uh oh you remember him? Yeah 34th uh division. 34th you guys were yeah no you
guys were in the 34th
air force? Yeah. Yeah. And you know the guy he's talking about just be real. Do
you know this guy
he's talking about? Uh yeah I know some of them. I think I know him. Yeah. But
you were in the
military. Do you know how many people are in the military though? That's kind
of odd. A lot of people
was in the military. You remember his buddy's dad. Yeah. Uh fuck it. All right.
Yeah I'm trying to
think if we can bring him up. Pull up. It's the guy right here in the uh in.
Yes. You remember
him? Yes. I remember seeing him. Yes. Okay. We hung out a little bit. What'd y'all
do in the army?
Done whatever the hell they told us to do. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you're
supposed to do. So that's him
right there. Oh he got he got ripped since y'all got out. Yeah. No that's
current. Oh it is? They're the
same age. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That joker is a hoss. And um are you Sagittarius?
What are you?
Yeah I'm uh uh uh uh whatever. Yeah Sagittarius or uh that's. He don't give a
piss about nothing but the tide.
I don't give a piss about nothing but the tide. Well you gotta care about Zody
right? No he don't
care about nothing but nothing but the tide. What the fucking tide? I said I'm
a tide man. I can tell
Willie somebody died just now and he don't give a piss about nothing but the
tide. Bro it's a Zodiac.
Bro we wouldn't even be here if it weren't for it. Yeah. Yeah but see. Oh okay.
Look they brought you
what you needed. But but the tide is the greatest football team there is in the
world. I agree with you.
I agree with you. Now I'm gonna name off a couple other teams. You tell me if
they're good or not.
All right. All right. Oregon Ducks. Sucks. Okay. Uh TCU Horned Frogs. They suck.
Uh UGA Bulldogs. They suck too. All the Bulldogs is good. Yeah. Okay. What
about this? Um.
The Toronto Maple Leafs. I ain't never heard of them. They suck. Yeah they suck.
They suck too.
Um yeah. And then one more. Let me think. Oh I know about this. What about the
Tulane Green Wave?
Oh they so suck. Yeah. Oh damn. And the buzzers so enough suck. Yeah. That's
what we call the Auburn buzzers.
Oh the Auburn? Yeah. The buzzers? Yeah. The Tigers. Now what about them Ole
Miss Rebels Willie?
Ole Miss Rebels? Nah. I ain't got no use for them neither. Praise God. Praise
God. And them South Carolina
and Cox. What about them? I ain't got no use for them neither. All right. Damn.
And my second favorite
team after the tight is the Georgia Bulldogs. I'm gonna have one of those with
you. Can you grab
me one? Yeah. Yeah. We might have all. Yeah. Have one man. You haven't had one
in two years. Hey I ain't
drank none of that no. This is Roll Tide Willie man. You can smell it. Let me
smell one. Go ahead and get
that. I ain't took nothing to drink. Oh no. I think I'll get a new one Willie.
I ain't. I'll take it.
I'll get a new one. And do you remember. Well I don't blame you on that. And
now. Cause you don't
never know what happened. Yeah. Willie let me tell you. Let me. I want to find
out a little
bit about when you were a child. Did you ever have Halloween? Did you guys
dress up for Halloween?
Yeah. We wore Halloween masks and stuff like that. Sometimes we put a brown
paper bag over our head and
paint it up and cut eyes and all that in. Yeah. Why did you guys do that though?
What is the reason?
Cause we were so poor and couldn't fold nothing else. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And
would y'all go trick-or-treating
or what? Trick-or-treating and you know get us a little candy and all that.
Yeah. Yeah. Were black
people trick-or-treating around that time? Yeah. It was. We had a way. When I
lived down there in
Charlotte we had a lot of black friends. Okay. Oh yeah. Yeah. Best friends. How
was that for you?
Best friends I had. Yeah. Why? Why? Cause they was always there for me. Yeah.
And I was there for them.
I told you. I told you. I said a brother's always and he's never gonna expire.
Hey. Hey I used to get
Black don't crack. I used to get in a fight and go over here and be wanting to
fight. He was black
you know. But he'll come over there. He'll tell the other black boy. You ain't
messing with him now.
Yeah. Yeah. He said if you go fight him I'm gonna whoop you. Yeah. You see the
way they talk.
They say the black boy. That black boy. But see that's from back in the day.
Yeah. It's old stuff.
That's just what he knows though. Yeah. He holds it against you. What's the
blackest somebody can be?
Drewski and uh. Oh in my terms. Who's the. Is there the blackest guy? Do you
guys know him? Well my homies.
Yeah. What the fuck is that? That's probably the blackest guy he knows right
there. Right. He's got dreads.
Anybody with dreads around. Right. Right. See that. That is my man right there.
Who is that? That is
Hollywood. Ryan Williams. Amen. Yeah. We call him Hollywood. Yeah. Gang. He's a
nice guy. Oh man. He's
number one wide receiver for Alabama. Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. About nothing but
the time. Blitz Bama Blitz baby.
And now what about um. What about your first girlfriend ever Willie? Who was it?
Oh. I don't think
Willie memory. I don't remember no first girlfriend. Yeah. What about the most
recent one currently? Like
what was your last wife girlfriend? I ain't had no wife. I ain't had a
girlfriend in 20 years. Oh. Hey.
But wouldn't you want some love? I'd like to be married. I'm not married. Oh
yeah. I'd love to have
some love but ain't nothing around where I live. Yeah. Yeah. What what what is
the women like around there?
Uh they all either mad or they don't drugs. Yeah. You don't like no drugs. I
don't like no drugs. I don't do drugs.
You ever been off uh. Fet. Fetanol. Fetanol. Uh uh. I ain't never I ain't never
food with no drugs.
This is my only drug. Melalite. Amen. Yeah. Now Willie what would it take to
get you to cheer for
another team? That is a question I would like to know man. Never. What would it
what amount of money
would it take? Couldn't take no money. I'm a die hard at Tide fan. Well what
amount of what amount of
would it take for you? No uh no puss or nothing. I'm a die hard at Tide fan.
Now what if a woman
came and I'm talking a lady came over from uh uh Texas A&M. I'm talking a lady
rides up in a Corvette
Willie. What the tits look like? With some of that fucking that real that real.
She got some titties look like
two angry dogs trying to chew on your cock. All the Tide women. And tell me
this she got that cooter
on her that tech that Aggie. Yeah but I seen some of them at the at the airport.
Yeah baby. And what do
you now? Oh man did some of them have one? God almighty. Praise god baby. Had
one now that'll choke a mule. Yeah baby. That's what I'm talking about. Oh shit.
Now what I'd have took some of that not no but hell yeah. He folded so it don't
matter. It don't take too much to get you to switch. Damn bro.
It had nothing to do with money. It was just the Texas. It's the blonde Texas A&M.
Get you a little
sip of that beer. How's that beer Willie? That beer is good but see but ain't
nothing gonna make me leave the Tide. Really nothing?
Nothing. I respect that man. He's he's a man with good uh. Bruce will tell you
I'm a true Tide man.
Yeah. Now how do you feel about. He'll die Tide man. And how do you feel about
um about coach Saban leaving?
Oh man I cried when he when I when he announced. Did you really? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. My step cousin cried. I cried and I still even choke up by even time I
think about it. Yeah. Have you talked to him since he quit? No I ain't talked
to him. I'm hoping to get to meet him and get to talk to him. And you're gonna
convince him to go back huh? Hell yeah. Hell yeah. I need my coach. Amen. But I
think we in good hands with the other coach. Yeah. Yeah you gotta say that
though. Yeah. Well I gotta
support him. He's our coach. Of course. Yeah. And I'm gonna support him 100%.
Yeah. And we gotta get a man. He's been a winner everywhere he's been. And we
gotta get we gotta roll Tide. Roll Tide. Roll Tide. Roll Tide. Roll Tide. Roll
Tide. Hey look if you don't respect Nick Saban. Everybody respects Nick Saban.
Everybody. Everybody. Everybody respects the program. You have to respect it.
That's the thing. There's not a part of me that ever has been unrespectful of
the program man. But let me think about this. Do you
um would you ever go back into the military if there were a war no i'm too old
he's never too old
if they'll let me go you probably could be you probably could be a cook in uh
in the army now
i don't want to be no cook i want to go out there with it with action yeah yeah
baby i want you on
the front line baby would you trust willie on the front line oh yeah yeah be
out there bless you baby
dude i'd fucking get i'd hire willie before i get a damn ring camera dude are
you kidding
fuck god damn i might need to switch seats man no you're gonna be fine maybe he's
just pulling up
he got some new teeth too did you put yeah show him yeah god damn
you got rid of that nickel defense you was carrying on yeah
look at him right there no he actually didn't have anything
right there yeah it was gum straight gums there straight gums there and you
feel different
now or how do you feel oh i feel great oh he's yeah yeah i can all through a uh
cement brick now
eat anything i want to eat let's go baby even some coochie yeah yeah wow i can
all the hell
give it a fade to some everything's possible wow the world is your oyster um
and what about children
will any children in the future for you if i can find a woman in the future it's
crazy
well you give me one of them one of the women i find out there that is texas on
that airplane that
texas a&m i'll take one of them pull up another one of the uh what what school
would you say out there
yeah you said texas a&m girls no these girls on the airplane from texas oh yeah
i thought he was
yeah i got some beautiful women from there yeah texas we got to find you a good
woman out there willie
oh you need to find me oh look at that would i take this hot you said but you
don't like lsu though
well i don't like lsu but i like the girl yeah my god hey she's poor for lsu
and when i why not when
i'm now hey going with i'll say pull up some sisters pull up pull up some
sisters for some black sisters
some ebony type in ebony um ebony uh hot chicks oh there we go oh man we got
some oh yeah yeah now that's
a sister uh i i know it's the sister and and she can be my wife hell yeah that
cadbury huh yeah he
trying to get you a little bit of that cadbury ain't you yeah he wants some yams
hey hey we got
some we got some pretty ones around there where we live oh yeah yeah get your
looks get you something
with some side items baby oh man god damn boy look at that god nobody oh lord
help me jesus oh lord
my god boy i'm gonna have to remodel my pants you know who that is nikki manan
yeah but she could be
right over here live with me tonight okay i didn't know you like sisters man
yeah you know that i know
you know you like sisters my god almighty i might need to hire another tongue
baby fried chicken shoot
man i need to cook too yeah i need about four tons yeah i'm saying well i'm
gonna get me some yeah they
can cook and i can't nobody cook like they can oh man well they is crazy but uh
well it's true though it's just
well i'm just saying i if i'm gonna be the guy to say it sweet home alabama
lord i'm coming home to you
yeah and then where the skies are so blue yeah and then he go roll tide roll
you got you yep we're gonna end this one all right we might have to shut it
down willie we love you
man i love you man love you too yes sir thank y'all for having me yes you're
welcome you're always
welcome here and i hope to see you in nashville sometime i want to come down to
a u of a game and
have you uh and and go over there with you yeah yeah hey we'll love that yeah
yes sir willy all right
yep all right man we'll be good baby
but it's high
Thank you.

Roll Tide Willie Crashes the Podcast

I got actually brought um Roll Tide Willie here. You brought Roll Tide Willie?
I brought Roll Tide
Willie here. From the internet? And we also we have yes yes. Dude my buddy's
dad was in the military
with him. I swear. Yeah my buddy's dad was in the military with him. With Roll
Tide Willie? Yeah.
Yeah Roll Tide. Yeah Roll Tide. Wait wait wait wait. That beer's good. Yeah. No
jokes aside.
My friend's dad was in the military with him. How the fuck do you know this? He
lives in Alabama.
Yeah my friend's dad um is from Alabama. Oh shit. And they were in the military
together. That's
fucking crazy. Yeah I want to bring him in here. Let's bring him in man. Yeah.
RT Dub at the gang bro.
Roll Tide. Hey. Yeah. We rolling? Roll Tide. Roll Tide. Yeah man. Brought the
legend man. You know.
There he is Willie. You flew in. How was that flight bro? Oh that flight was
all right. But I it was a long one. I didn't think I was gonna ever get
there. Yeah. Man man said be about 30 minutes. It seemed like we rolled for
another hour and a half.
Yeah. Have you flown before Willie? I flew in a little small jet before not no
big one. What the hell
are you doing on a small jet? I worked with a man and he had a little small jet.
Now you were in the
military. Willie I think you were in the military with my friend's dad. Yeah he
said um you went to the
military with his dad at one point. Were you in the military? I gotta translate
to him. It's a certain
way. He don't really um yeah he was in the military with my friend's dad. So he's
saying uh you know how
you were down there at Roll Tide. Yeah. And uh you know out in uh Tuscaloosa.
Right. Uh you were Bama boy
and and in the past you you went and you did stuff in the army. Right. Yeah he
got a buddy that did
stuff in the army with you. Right. What branch was he in? Uh what branch of the
army? Uh he was in the uh
uh oh you remember him? Yeah 34th uh division. 34th you guys were yeah no you
guys were in the 34th
air force? Yeah. Yeah. And you know the guy he's talking about just be real. Do
you know this guy
he's talking about? Uh yeah I know some of them. I think I know him. Yeah. But
you were in the
military. Do you know how many people are in the military though? That's kind
of odd. A lot of people
was in the military. You remember his buddy's dad. Yeah. Uh fuck it. All right.
Yeah I'm trying to
think if we can bring him up. Pull up. It's the guy right here in the uh in.
Yes. You remember
him? Yes. I remember seeing him. Yes. Okay. We hung out a little bit. What'd y'all
do in the army?
Done whatever the hell they told us to do. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you're
supposed to do. So that's him
right there. Oh he got he got ripped since y'all got out. Yeah. No that's
current. Oh it is? They're the
same age. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That joker is a hoss. And um are you Sagittarius?
What are you?
Yeah I'm uh uh uh uh whatever. Yeah Sagittarius or uh that's. He don't give a
piss about nothing but the tide.
I don't give a piss about nothing but the tide. Well you gotta care about Zody
right? No he don't
care about nothing but nothing but the tide. What the fucking tide? I said I'm
a tide man. I can tell
Willie somebody died just now and he don't give a piss about nothing but the
tide. Bro it's a Zodiac.
Bro we wouldn't even be here if it weren't for it. Yeah. Yeah but see. Oh okay.
Look they brought you
what you needed. But but the tide is the greatest football team there is in the
world. I agree with you.
I agree with you. Now I'm gonna name off a couple other teams. You tell me if
they're good or not.
All right. All right. Oregon Ducks. Sucks. Okay. Uh TCU Horned Frogs. They suck.
Uh UGA Bulldogs. They suck too. All the Bulldogs is good. Yeah. Okay. What
about this? Um.
The Toronto Maple Leafs. I ain't never heard of them. They suck. Yeah they suck.
They suck too.
Um yeah. And then one more. Let me think. Oh I know about this. What about the
Tulane Green Wave?
Oh they so suck. Yeah. Oh damn. And the buzzers so enough suck. Yeah. That's
what we call the Auburn buzzers.
Oh the Auburn? Yeah. The buzzers? Yeah. The Tigers. Now what about them Ole
Miss Rebels Willie?
Ole Miss Rebels? Nah. I ain't got no use for them neither. Praise God. Praise
God. And them South Carolina
and Cox. What about them? I ain't got no use for them neither. All right. Damn.
And my second favorite
team after the tight is the Georgia Bulldogs. I'm gonna have one of those with
you. Can you grab
me one? Yeah. Yeah. We might have all. Yeah. Have one man. You haven't had one
in two years. Hey I ain't
drank none of that no. This is Roll Tide Willie man. You can smell it. Let me
smell one. Go ahead and get
that. I ain't took nothing to drink. Oh no. I think I'll get a new one Willie.
I ain't. I'll take it.
I'll get a new one. And do you remember. Well I don't blame you on that. And
now. Cause you don't
never know what happened. Yeah. Willie let me tell you. Let me. I want to find
out a little
bit about when you were a child. Did you ever have Halloween? Did you guys
dress up for Halloween?
Yeah. We wore Halloween masks and stuff like that. Sometimes we put a brown
paper bag over our head and
paint it up and cut eyes and all that in. Yeah. Why did you guys do that though?
What is the reason?
Cause we were so poor and couldn't fold nothing else. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And
would y'all go trick-or-treating
or what? Trick-or-treating and you know get us a little candy and all that.
Yeah. Yeah. Were black
people trick-or-treating around that time? Yeah. It was. We had a way. When I
lived down there in
Charlotte we had a lot of black friends. Okay. Oh yeah. Yeah. Best friends. How
was that for you?
Best friends I had. Yeah. Why? Why? Cause they was always there for me. Yeah.
And I was there for them.
I told you. I told you. I said a brother's always and he's never gonna expire.
Hey. Hey I used to get
Black don't crack. I used to get in a fight and go over here and be wanting to
fight. He was black
you know. But he'll come over there. He'll tell the other black boy. You ain't
messing with him now.
Yeah. Yeah. He said if you go fight him I'm gonna whoop you. Yeah. You see the
way they talk.
They say the black boy. That black boy. But see that's from back in the day.
Yeah. It's old stuff.
That's just what he knows though. Yeah. He holds it against you. What's the
blackest somebody can be?
Drewski and uh. Oh in my terms. Who's the. Is there the blackest guy? Do you
guys know him? Well my homies.
Yeah. What the fuck is that? That's probably the blackest guy he knows right
there. Right. He's got dreads.
Anybody with dreads around. Right. Right. See that. That is my man right there.
Who is that? That is
Hollywood. Ryan Williams. Amen. Yeah. We call him Hollywood. Yeah. Gang. He's a
nice guy. Oh man. He's
number one wide receiver for Alabama. Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. About nothing but
the time. Blitz Bama Blitz baby.
And now what about um. What about your first girlfriend ever Willie? Who was it?
Oh. I don't think
Willie memory. I don't remember no first girlfriend. Yeah. What about the most
recent one currently? Like
what was your last wife girlfriend? I ain't had no wife. I ain't had a
girlfriend in 20 years. Oh. Hey.
But wouldn't you want some love? I'd like to be married. I'm not married. Oh
yeah. I'd love to have
some love but ain't nothing around where I live. Yeah. Yeah. What what what is
the women like around there?
Uh they all either mad or they don't drugs. Yeah. You don't like no drugs. I
don't like no drugs. I don't do drugs.
You ever been off uh. Fet. Fetanol. Fetanol. Uh uh. I ain't never I ain't never
food with no drugs.
This is my only drug. Melalite. Amen. Yeah. Now Willie what would it take to
get you to cheer for
another team? That is a question I would like to know man. Never. What would it
what amount of money
would it take? Couldn't take no money. I'm a die hard at Tide fan. Well what
amount of what amount of
would it take for you? No uh no puss or nothing. I'm a die hard at Tide fan.
Now what if a woman
came and I'm talking a lady came over from uh uh Texas A&M. I'm talking a lady
rides up in a Corvette
Willie. What the tits look like? With some of that fucking that real that real.
She got some titties look like
two angry dogs trying to chew on your cock. All the Tide women. And tell me
this she got that cooter
on her that tech that Aggie. Yeah but I seen some of them at the at the airport.
Yeah baby. And what do
you now? Oh man did some of them have one? God almighty. Praise god baby. Had
one now that'll choke a mule. Yeah baby. That's what I'm talking about. Oh shit.
Now what I'd have took some of that not no but hell yeah. He folded so it don't
matter. It don't take too much to get you to switch. Damn bro.
It had nothing to do with money. It was just the Texas. It's the blonde Texas A&M.
Get you a little
sip of that beer. How's that beer Willie? That beer is good but see but ain't
nothing gonna make me leave the Tide. Really nothing?
Nothing. I respect that man. He's he's a man with good uh. Bruce will tell you
I'm a true Tide man.
Yeah. Now how do you feel about. He'll die Tide man. And how do you feel about
um about coach Saban leaving?
Oh man I cried when he when I when he announced. Did you really? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. My step cousin cried. I cried and I still even choke up by even time I
think about it. Yeah. Have you talked to him since he quit? No I ain't talked
to him. I'm hoping to get to meet him and get to talk to him. And you're gonna
convince him to go back huh? Hell yeah. Hell yeah. I need my coach. Amen. But I
think we in good hands with the other coach. Yeah. Yeah you gotta say that
though. Yeah. Well I gotta
support him. He's our coach. Of course. Yeah. And I'm gonna support him 100%.
Yeah. And we gotta get a man. He's been a winner everywhere he's been. And we
gotta get we gotta roll Tide. Roll Tide. Roll Tide. Roll Tide. Roll Tide. Roll
Tide. Hey look if you don't respect Nick Saban. Everybody respects Nick Saban.
Everybody. Everybody. Everybody respects the program. You have to respect it.
That's the thing. There's not a part of me that ever has been unrespectful of
the program man. But let me think about this. Do you
um would you ever go back into the military if there were a war no i'm too old
he's never too old
if they'll let me go you probably could be you probably could be a cook in uh
in the army now
i don't want to be no cook i want to go out there with it with action yeah yeah
baby i want you on
the front line baby would you trust willie on the front line oh yeah yeah be
out there bless you baby
dude i'd fucking get i'd hire willie before i get a damn ring camera dude are
you kidding
fuck god damn i might need to switch seats man no you're gonna be fine maybe he's
just pulling up
he got some new teeth too did you put yeah show him yeah god damn
you got rid of that nickel defense you was carrying on yeah
look at him right there no he actually didn't have anything
right there yeah it was gum straight gums there straight gums there and you
feel different
now or how do you feel oh i feel great oh he's yeah yeah i can all through a uh
cement brick now
eat anything i want to eat let's go baby even some coochie yeah yeah wow i can
all the hell
give it a fade to some everything's possible wow the world is your oyster um
and what about children
will any children in the future for you if i can find a woman in the future it's
crazy
well you give me one of them one of the women i find out there that is texas on
that airplane that
texas a&m i'll take one of them pull up another one of the uh what what school
would you say out there
yeah you said texas a&m girls no these girls on the airplane from texas oh yeah
i thought he was
yeah i got some beautiful women from there yeah texas we got to find you a good
woman out there willie
oh you need to find me oh look at that would i take this hot you said but you
don't like lsu though
well i don't like lsu but i like the girl yeah my god hey sh