Name: Sketch Gets Dating Advice From Theo
Uploaded: 2024-04-23T22:00:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sketch Gets Dating Advice From Theo' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sketch Gets Dating Advice From Theo' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-23. Transcript available.

one of the ladies i'm with right now yeah well oh yeah look at this beautiful
beautiful ladies
look at this hard at work her name is well just not saying bg bg yeah there we
go um that's a
b yeah that's a good name and i think she seems like a nice person she is a
nice person yeah tell
you what i'm lightheaded i ate like a bird yesterday eat with her i was trying
not to eat
too much and you know yeah it was great and do you like yeah what's that like
now because you're
meeting more ladies and stuff more ladies get to see you yeah has that been
kind of nerve-wracking
to go from like like were you comfortable like growing up were you comfortable
talking with
ladies and stuff i was not very good i just always had a friend group of
friends or whatever and then
probably uh had two high hopes with a lot of ladies so it was uh usually flying
solo oh yeah but i also
when i go out i like to uh go go ham i guess so it's like i you know like to
move light you know
moving solo getting through cracks and stuff like that that's how you like to
travel kind of oh yeah
it's uh i don't well i just like to do your own thing yeah like i just like
even if before i'm
doing something like if like this i like to pace around or something and sort
of do that with other
people yeah and so now it's a little different though because you can meet it's
easier to meet
ladies now because they can see you without you having to be you know they get
they see you online
they see on socials it's easier yeah and uh and it's hard to get on tinder when
you're sketch or
whatever because then it's like it's like how do you get on tinder with your
with the persona or
whatever it's like what right yeah that's why uh talking to all the ladies from
where i live
are you yes sir yeah whatever so you've never really been in love yet then huh
so you didn't
start dating until after uh yesterday was probably my first real date no uh yes
sir no way and you
were he's helping me out here let's look at that oh let's go bro your first
date and where did you
guys go uh we went to eddie v's oh it's nice there eddie v's they have um table
calls in there oh yeah
oh yeah it was uh it was fine dining we had some steak had like two bites of it
everyone's trying to
stay light yeah the date doesn't eat much huh no which she's uh she had she
felt some pressure i guess
yeah a lot of they don't want to yeah i think women don't i think well sorry to
interrupt you go
on tell me more about the date so we went to eddie v's and then we went out on
broadway uh that was
fun and then that was it go to some bars some bars we were bar hopping and um
yeah the bars here were
pretty crazy so it was uh it was fun time we had definitely we both needed ivs
in the morning so really
yeah and was it a i don't even want to be inappropriate what did you would do
was it like
sleep in the same bed type of date or was it like a same same room
gentlemen yes sir yes sir yeah yeah yeah yeah here we go you don't need to
score all the way in the
first half come on it's a it's a first inning here hey look i feel you here we
go i love your attitude
man wow dude was it did it feel like romantic like how would you how were you
feeling i was feeling
butterflies butterflies with a little bit of the beer i drank on the flight it
was it was getting
to me you drank on the flight oh i just don't like flying so i drink a little
bit when i fly
yeah or maybe a lot but whatever i'm feeling depending on how long the flight
is a lot of
stepdads and aggressive like business lesbians will drink on flights i noticed
come on flights
all the time yeah um wow brother and so you've had a couple drinks you get
there did you go pick
her up or how did you guys do same flight you came together oh yeah wait so you
knew her already oh
yeah oh i thought you said this was the first date no first date but first time
it's a lifelong friend
oh it's not lifelong more later in life okay a later in life friend and you're
only how old are you 25.
oh yeah yeah so it's a new friend yeah pretty new yeah pretty new i was calling
it new love it's like
puppy love oh yeah oh i love it it can't even catch a frisbee in its mouth yet
yeah exactly you know we
were uh stumbling don't know how to hold hands don't know how to walk together
i was trying to open
doors it's pretty hard when they're a fast walker oh calm down so i'll come
back here but i'm on camera
here please oh wow so did it feel like there was it must have felt awesome huh
it was awesome tell
you what i'd do it again well the night two day two this could be it another
night i know this is uh
well now it's getting to the back half so i might have to hit the panic button
on them no i'm just kidding
that's true the second day but also it's the best it's like if it still feels
good that's the best
thing oh yeah i think you're right the worst move is to try to like play all
your cards and like be
like the hero on the first night or whatever yeah you know that's a rookie move
really that's a rookie
move i like to well impress her very well in the beginning and then next time
we hang out it's probably
not gonna be as good that's what i'm saying there we go eddie v's first time
yeah cracker barrel next
time there we go breakfast breakfast food nothing wrong with biscuits and gravy
biscuits and boobies
i'm just kidding dude when it comes to taking girls for love for dinner you got
to get them
seafood bro that's exactly you're speaking the language really yeah eggs not
eggs uh what do you
call it crab yeah some people say eggs are the seafood of a farm anyway oh yeah
but but yeah women
love seafood man because women love the women love to go to the beach seafood
is it lives right outside
of the beach yeah that's uh that's that's about as romantic as it gets oh i
remember one time yeah i
took this girl to seafood we went to lunch and oh and then after i i had like a
big crush on this girl
and i tried to hold her hand and she wouldn't hold my hand oh that's brutal oh
i was like give me back
my crab cake oh yeah you're gonna start giving her a heimlich give me it back
please yeah that's a
lump crab yeah that's a whole that's king crab brother let's get that we need
that back yeah this
ain't queen crab mama oh yeah we're pulling this out of you oh yeah we we got
that we did hit the wrong
person here dude so now that you're in the dating world do you feel like you're
going to start dating
different ethnicities do you feel like there's anything are you just kind of
open to all open
all look at me yeah i'm like i'm like the un i'm just here to make love i mean
i'm a peacemaker
peacemaker here i don't know i got engaged last weekend at vegas so you made me
do that again you got
really engaged it uh it was i don't know if it's real yet but it's uh we did
get married oh she
was offering acceptance it's a legal legal contract i'm gonna i'll find out how
much money she makes
i'll bring up her ass here you go i need a cut of that snapchat please dang and
is she's a snapchat
artist or something no no fitness fitness lady wow yep and where'd you meet her
online um my brother
set me up nick naricino oh yeah i met nick yeah i met him at the fight he set
you up with a gal yeah
that's what uh that's what we did it that that the day before she wasn't with
me at the fight so
things are rough sledding rough sledding no bad start out the gate yeah lots of
turbulence
like captain sully i hit a geese at takeoff we're we're in the water someone
come get us
wow but it's uh you know loving loving the married life yeah it seems like it
man yeah because um that's a
big challenge dude i think is getting married and being willing to be married
you know i've had
friends that get married and then they'll come over the next day and they'll be
like dude i'm
they'll be like man i'm married you know yeah i can't that's why i can't i don't
like anything
long term yeah keep everything month to month a month a month contract that's
probably that's
another business idea there this heart is month to month exactly you know i can
love you as long as i can
think yeah i can love you as long as this electric bill lasts oh yeah yeah love
you as long as it
takes me to get to you by foot by lander c