Name: Sketch Used to Be a Real Estate Agent?
Uploaded: 2024-04-24T23:05:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sketch Used to Be a Real Estate Agent?' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sketch Used to Be a Real Estate Agent?' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-24. Transcript available.

because it's a kind of strange it's a unique ascent it's almost like you're an
astronaut it's almost
like you you're an astronaut but you haven't left the earth you know it's like
you don't see a lot
of people um that have just had such a change in their life oh dude i was doing
real estate like a
a year ago and then literally was nearsighted real estate yeah it was i'll tell
you what i
my last real estate deal i crashed on the way there i thought i had a green
light i hope that
lady doesn't know that she would have sued me for nothing now now she can
garnish some wages
what's up lawyer what's up we might need a couple dude could you imagine if you're
showing me a real
estate you're like this house is six feet by six feet it's like as far as you
can see yeah that's
probably what it's like take them in there and i'm finding everything for
finding out everything like
they are you see that there you see you see that there dude that's great see
that would almost be
awesome of a real estate agent because then everything's gonna be brand new to
you exactly
that's the that's the beauty of it walk out there and just but i did more land
so i never i never
really did houses so the land was like everyone good here you like it okay let's
do it you're pretty
simple cut and dry so yeah you just show up and what just look at land or
whatever yeah i would put
stuff on a contract and then i would have to take it to like a committee and
they'd approve like the
purchase or not it was more like raw land for like lots and stuff like that for
like houses okay yes
sir and you're driving a truck though huh toyota tacoma hell yeah yeah i was
and then i i have a
second one now because that first one got destroyed i'll tell you what it's a
safe car though yeah that
lady hit me she meant it huh 45. yeah that's why you got to watch the a gap man
you got to catch that
mike linebacker exactly it was like uh the blind side there i was i was i was
relaxed though i had no
clue it was coming dang bro so the so um yeah because you gotta buy land from a
dude in a truck if a dude
rolls up in a camera or whatever i ain't buying that's a that's a land that's
like selling crypto
there he's it's a that's a scam there yeah that's bad here we go bro if some
dude rolls up yeah in a
fiat or a mini cooper i ain't buying no no no way yeah if he's got a squat to
get in his car
no way unless he's a or something but so what does your mom do for work my mom
she works with my dad
and my dad does home building oh really yeah so i would buy the land for them
and then like we would
approve it through like a committee or whatever and then that's how i would
transact oh i see so you it
was a family business yes sir and then when like so when i stopped uh it slowed
down in 2023 from
interest rates and that's when i was like well i'll just start streaming and uh
well not like to make
money more just like i have a free time i had a pretty easy schedule with them
i didn't make a lot
of money but it was like it was chill it was like enough to where it's like
just go in i mean you
you're not buying lander you are so it's like yeah work from home yeah i might
have got some uh free
dollars from my dad on that one i'll tell you what you probably shouldn't let
anyone work from home
pops like robbing them blind check your pockets yeah that's a horrible idea to
let somebody work from home
dude that's a it's if it's your own family member too because they're just
working from home they're not
doing nothing oh yeah and my boss wasn't a part of the family so it's like who's
gonna uh who's gonna
call me in i was like i feel like i should tell someone but i'm loving life
right now it's a good
thing that i found a new job you're like i feel like it's 11 a.m i'm gonna take
a nap early oh yeah
but that's probably what time i was waking up wow wake up pop on stream sending
out i probably got
two emails a day when i was working oh so very it was very easy it was calm
waters for you guys huh
it was uh yeah i was just floating floating down the river and what were some
of the emails you would
get like would it be people complaining like hey there's not enough land here
or or there's quick
sand out here whitey or something like that there was i had i made some bad
purchases before i bought
some stuff without looking at it that's not and then they go oh there's an easement
on it i was
like oh it's like you didn't see that either i've had some good ones and some
bad ones some ugly babies
oh yeah it's okay yeah you know it's not they're still babies that's exactly
exactly it's just it's
land regardless hey and once you're yeah you still gotta breastfeed them
brother yeah look at that
lactose intolerant but i'll uh i'll take one for the team what would you do
with the land so it was
like raw land and we were just like putting we would spec houses on it so like
when i was doing it in 2020
like your interest rates dropped the man was up because you had a housing boom
and builders were
like looking to replace empty inventory and it was uh i was overbidding on a
lot of the like
i mean from a thousand like up to ten fifteen thousand like that was the only
way to get under contract
really oh yeah i had some good we had some good sales i mean like it was but it's
going we had
some good we had some good action on it yeah yeah you couldn't go wrong in 2020
it was pretty
uh it was just like picking up stuff off the ground but overbid how do you even
why who would let you
bid who would who would let you bid on land when this is the is the your catchphrase
that's why i
worked from home they didn't want to see me dude uh the cfo don't love me when
they were looking for
looking for better margins it was uh the land was them sorry for cussing but
look man that's what
they get bro that's what happens that's what happens when you don't you give a
big dog a little leash
now he's gonna he's gonna around you know what i mean oh yeah i mean that's
business 101 oh yeah
we need checks and balances but it's a small office so you know just go to mom
mom come on brother
we've overbid mom what about um so your dad was a like a prospector kind of um
like more like he would
like what's a prospector like um i think that's somebody actually looks for
gold so he wasn't that
he was more like a um guy that a developer kind of like yes sir we did we did
development and then we
did home building so like the stuff that i did was more like the home building
side yeah um he started
developing more in the past year um but the yeah i was like pretty much pretty
pretty low-key like
pretty low lift stuff yeah but um yeah yeah two emails a day that's pretty calm
i feel like oh yeah
and then you just uh respond to them within 24 hours that's another loophole
there look at 48 hours and
we i i would text back or like my emails are pretty uh good morning one
sentence thank you
yeah there we go no no tag there no number on there dude that's how that's why
i like to roll
i yeah i think mystery is a part of business that's missing these days yeah you
know be vague don't
give the info yeah you got to keep your cards close to the vest don't don't let
them see it make them
want you oh yeah yeah seduce them yeah yeah that's what i like to do there yeah
lead them on yeah that's
a great idea
Thank you.