Name: The Wildest Bar Fight Zac Brown Ever Witnessed
Uploaded: 2024-05-07T23:30:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Wildest Bar Fight Zac Brown Ever Witnessed' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Wildest Bar Fight Zac Brown Ever Witnessed' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-07. Transcript available.

for me just treating people good was like that it taught me to like those
people are
sometimes the only people listening to you at the end of the night when you're
playing you know
because i played some shitty gigs dude like like the worst really oh the worst
like no one there
you drove eight hours to go play a show and you set up and it's just like you
know do you ever
play during a fight and fights break out and you have to keep playing yeah and
i've had to join
fights like in the middle because friends are involved in it really in the
middle why because
y'all don't have a good percussionist in the area yeah dude there's there's
some stories man
the amount of bar fights you've seen when you play in bars for 10 years is a
lot and your friends are
bartenders and stuff like that or whatever and you'll see some about to go down
there's like
three dudes that came in from one of one of the nights uh so this is a dixie tavern
right so i
ended up where's that in jackson it's in georgia it's in marietta georgia okay
um it's right on cob
parkway um right where the brave stadium is now the new brave stadium it's
right down the road from
there but that was where i cut my teeth so as we got out of that circuit of
like panama city birmingham
or whatever then we started playing around uh atlanta more often and i had like
three or four house
gigs around atlanta and actually talked them into building the stage that was
in there because they
didn't have loud music so they built the stage and we would play there and one
of the nights these two
dudes from uh miami had come in like one tall skinny dude and one kind of heavy
dude and so one of my
buddies was bartending at the time and ended up having words with him or
whatever and so the the
tall skinny dude called one of the female bartenders who was married to another
bartender that was there
a different guy um a really bad word called her the c word oh yeah and so it
was off and so the bouncers
so you know all the bouncers you know like nobody's you're not going to get
skull right you're not going to get
curb stomped because nobody's like looking out or whatever so it's a little
safer place to
fight you know yeah yeah and then we had off-duty friends off-duty cops that
would come in and hear us
play and stuff like that so they're they're about so they we come in and i
remember this this night
especially because somebody giving me like a little chocolate mushroom right
yeah baby so it's like
love you baby so it's like right before like two or three songs before the end
of the of the the night
right so i ate a little piece of chocolate right so whatever and so we we get
done
playing the song or whatever and things getting a little hd you know it's
looking good or whatever
and then these two dudes from miami um called her that name and the bouncers
are trying to throw
them out or whatever and one of my buddies has the big one kind of he's got his
arm pushed up on his
neck holding him against the wall and this other dude this tall skinny one who
i think he's on meth
because he was crazy strong yeah so he's like swinging at everybody so when i
was in in in college i did judo
at west georgia so this dude swinging at everybody there's like six dudes in a
circle and this dude's
just like swinging and and just trying to hit somebody right oh yeah so he he
he's turning
around he swings one of my buddies and misses whatever so i get on his back i
get him in a
rear naked choke oh right and i'm i'm starting to be special because for my
chocolate right so i've got
this dude and i remember the feeling of his warm neck right yeah and so then i
was i was bigger than
i was probably like 250 you know i was bigger boy no just i mean i was strong
but i was i was not
thicker yeah so so this dude he goes down to the ground with me on his back and
then this dude is
messed up enough got that super strength stands up picks me up with me on his
back and gets up and so
then i then i started using my back i full-on just like cranked it out right so
i kind of felt
it and my feet were off my feet were off the ground and so yeah he he picked me
up oh my god
this is like he was like cowboy meth strong like like a bull riding meth dude
yeah let me lasso that
pipe huh yeah so i'm squeezing this dude and i finally i finally feel him start
to go limp or whatever
and my feet touched the ground so i just let go of the dude at that point and
this dude's standing
right like this and so there's a planter a brick planter that's right outside dixie
tavern
this dude fell like a tower bro back hit his forehead on the bricks bro cut his
head open
i'm tripping dude hits the ground pool of blood starts coming out from this
dude's head and when
you start to put it back and i think and then and then i think at that point i
just kill this dude right
so i run i run in the back and i go get i go get in the beer cooler where the
kegs are bro
and i'm in i'm sitting in the cooler with all the kegs are you think you're
going to be so cold that
the cops can't find you i was yeah they weren't going to find me with a thermal
scan because i
was getting hypothermia in there bro i was all by myself and and so that
everybody's looking for
me or whatever trying to find me using a depth finder so yeah so i'm in this i'm
sitting next to
this coolant after about 30 minutes bro and i just keep seeing this blood going
you like coming out
this dude's head and i'm sitting there and i'm shivering or whatever somebody
finally comes in
and it's like are you okay whatever and they're like just stay in here or
whatever so i'm like
fuck so then i get really cold so i'm like you know i'm at like 35 degrees by
then bro so i'm like
so i come out and i walk out and i look outside and there's ambulance fire
truck police like the
whole place is crawling with like you know yeah federales yeah so um so my
buddy mike was an off-duty cop and he was there
he told the cops that he hit the dude and knocked him out and he hit the thing
so i was off the hook
or whatever but that was like that was a wild trip so so this dude's on the
ground and right when they
start to pull a gurney up or whatever to put this dude on a gurney and move him
because they didn't
touch him because they thought his neck was broken or whatever he woke up and
he runs to this bush
cops are all out there at this point he runs out to this bush and starts shuffling
around in this
bush and cops are fucking pulling out their guns and shit and whatever the dude
pulls a gun out of the bush
uh grabs a gun and the cop fucking knocks it out of his hand grabs him puts him
in cuffs and all the
shit or whatever but that dude that dude was close to pulling that thing out
and shooting shooting
somebody but he could have shot somebody earlier if you hadn't uh exactly had
that opportunity to
ride on his back exactly yeah he that was that was wild bro but there's there's
a lot of nights like
that that i've had playing and what song were y'all playing when this happened
dude i don't it was over
because i had just gotten done and it was like they were just did last call and
they were kind of
clearing people out and i don't think that they were ready to leave but oh that's
kind of the most
dangerous time it's that weird time when the bar is like you know it's kind of
closed people are like
if they've been talking to a girl they're trying to get in their last words or
something it's almost
like the final round of like a dating show someone's violently drunk someone
has been abandoned by their
friends um or spouse um some guy's just been doing coke and is just chewing off
the last few inches of
his face in the corner somewhere yeah he finally shows back up so i'll never
want my kids to work
in a restaurant or a bar because i've seen all that like firsthand and what
happens after all that and
like what people do to keep bartending and drinking shots like nobody can drink
a thousand shots a night
without doing a bunch of blow yeah and so it's around everywhere it's it's and
it's cash money
and people are you know it's it's were people ripping it pretty hard were you
guys partying
pretty hard uh i wasn't but there as soon as i saw that the first time then i
started seeing it
everywhere isn't that crazy dude it's just like that was all going on the whole
time and i had no idea
yeah it's kind of like when you buy it when you get a car then you see them all
the time
exactly exactly it's like the first time you see somebody do coke and you're
like oh i see
everybody's doing this everywhere people aren't just kind of casually touching
each other's hands
like that in the bar for no reason yeah well my bass player early on um i get
done playing him and
people come up and go hey man let me holler at donnie you know or let me let me
holler at jimmy or
whatever the dude's name was and i was like why do you need to holler at him
and so it turns out
he was dealing blow at my shows so i had to find him i had to fire him oh yeah
um he could play fast
though bro he could play fast dude and uh and i had no idea this was happening
right so i let go but
that's how i met john hopkins he was the first guy that was in my band that i
have now john hopkins
yeah and not the lymphoma guy is it the same same name it is john john hopkins
yeah oh the uh i met him
at um jimmy jimmy john's yeah yeah you guys played a special event there so oh
yeah hops hops the first
one that was in my band but i was recording with him and i told him about my
bass player and he was
like well i can play a little bass i can sit in so you know in february it'll
be 20 years of him sitting
in wow but he's one of the best singers dude best fucking background singer
period but he had a band
called brighter shade which is like this kind of heavier metal band that was
badass he could scream
and you know was legit so um that was the beginning of the band that i have now
he was the first member
uh coming into that but because it wouldn't have happened if my bass player
hadn't been dealing
blow damn yeah that guy could have still been with you yeah maybe yeah i don't
know dude his tics
would have i i would have found out with the tics eventually all the tics made
sense after that he
had that pentameter on him huh some people get a little iambic bro if you have
a little too much
blocane baby i've been there i start damn i turn into a damn harmonica son
Thank you.