Name: Nikki Glaser Shares Secrets From the Roast of Tom Brady
Uploaded: 2024-05-14T20:44:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nikki Glaser Shares Secrets From the Roast of Tom Brady' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nikki Glaser Shares Secrets From the Roast of Tom Brady' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-14. Transcript available.

Nikki Glaser Shares Secrets From the Roast of Tom Brady

yeah let's talk about the roast congratulations thanks first of all you were so
funny thanks
and not that you weren't going to be but i think it's a tough environment to do
it in um yeah i
didn't even want to do a roast again like i i don't know the idea of roasting
like the jonas
brothers not that they even asked me to do that roast but when that was i was
like oh that's the
level where you already did that one yeah which was fun and i probably would
entertain it but it
was like you it's i just didn't want to put myself up to be made fun of like it's
just not worth it
to me if it's not a big deal and tom brady i'm like this is a big deal so i i
wrote uh i think
robbie praw the guy at netflix who books everyone and um i i think i wrote to
him and or he wrote to
me about something else and i go i saw this tom brady roast this is like six
months ago and i was
like i want that and he was like i'm actually meeting with tom pretty soon i
was like tell tom
i'm the tom brady of roasting and that it's it's not going to be a tom brady
roast without
the best roaster there is right now and did i believe that at the time no like
but i know
what i meant was i'll work the hardest yeah like i might be a six-round draft
pick but i'll
fucking i'll i'll prove to everyone by working hard i won't i will not take
this lightly this is a big
upper like and so i don't even know if he communicated that to him but i did i
remember
like i never talked myself up in that way like i'm really not very good at
being like i can do this
but i really did feel like i could and so i thought oh if i can appeal to tom's
sense of like
i have work ethic like you do and i i won't phone this in this is a you're a
big deal i'm like get
me and so when i got it i was like you this is the you have to give it
everything right if you ask for
the ball you have to fucking you have everything yes so i the amount of i
worked on that i don't
love working that hard but you just have to ask for help you just have to have
ask for help in terms of
like stopping other things and having people protect you from getting overworked
you think it's funny
and easy it's going to be cool but then you get up there and the people are
right there yeah and you're
like oh my god this is gonna hurt some people's feelings and i have to say this
stuff yes so that was
when i realized how all how what a tough moment it is um do you feel that when
you're doing it i i i
i thought no i don't actually i the only time i if you sign up for a roast like
i understand maybe
the first roast that ever happened and i would feel bad because like what is
this and i wrote all
these jokes but like go watch roast compilations that's what's coming at you if
you agreed to do
this you are opening yourself up to that but what if you sign up for a content
say you sign up for
something where somebody's going to call you a f-a-g-g-o-t right you sign up
for it somebody's like
that's the thing you want to sign up you're like yeah i'll sign up for it dude
and it seems chill
your whatever you're backstage yeah that sounds like a good time yeah you're
backstage practicing
or whatever like how you're going to react when they call you yeah yeah yeah
but then you go out
it's literally tom brady in the bowels of the kia forum the other night is
practicing what to look
like when they call him that word probably yes that's what i heard is that you
know he was nervous
before and he's probably more worried about his own set than thinking about the
reactions but i think
that's a part of being on a roast where you have to like think about what you're
going to do when
they make fun of you yeah yeah i can't hide my feelings i think it would be
tough yeah it is
tough that's why i'm so glad that i would like next time they'll come at me
hard because i'll be known
but this time no one knows me so no one came at me i mean there were a couple
jokes but nothing
but that consistent every person's gonna hit you yeah i would hate that i'm
gonna hate that and it will
be i'll be older my face will have more things in it that will make it look
weird for people to make fun
like you know like there'll be there'll be more fodder and it will hurt a lot a
lot so you agree
though that there's some pain there oh so much pain but i did like you like i
said i before when
i've been doing roast i never thought about people's feelings and i think the
last roast i
did was five years ago and in that time i think i've worked on myself enough to
have empathy and
like not want to hurt people and so this time i was really worried about it and
like i'm not saying
this joke about jeff ross it's too mean and i don't even believe it i don't
want to say this joke
about bert kreischer only having one joke i don't even feel that way but it's
like my friends kept
reminding me it's a roast this is what it is and they signed up for it don't
pull back it's just
it's this right so i just but i fought it a lot there were some jokes i didn't
do just be and
wouldn't even say here because i was just like they came from such a mean place
and i could never
ever say that to someone's face but two five years ago i definitely would have
done that joke
really so you think you were toned down this time yeah i mean but for the right
in the right way like
i think it resonated because i hit the exact right tone like you do you do that
slave joke and i could
have lost people because they're just like why did she say slave like right it
the set was built
perfectly don't say it anymore yeah i know but it was built perfectly so that
it was uh didn't affect
it but i didn't i didn't pull back i found ways to like go just as hard in the
way that i wanted to
yeah i think oh yeah i thought it was really masterful i um thanks man yeah it
was really really cool
and then yeah you just see you everywhere and everybody's like she killed it
this is it she's
the honky cardi b people are saying oh ben affleck what was it what was he like
i'm always a
fascinating i'm such a fan you didn't no he just we didn't meet even brady
before the show began
we were just like got miked got sat and then all of a sudden the show starts is
that one of the reasons
they do what you think so there's no no because then i guess maybe this is a
different production
company this time different network it used to be comedy central we would all
hang out a little bit
before like five minutes before you'd shake their hand like the guy you're
about to roast
but there was none of that this time and then affleck i think just wanted in
and out because he
didn't want anyone to even know he was there to be roasted and i think he was
supposed to stay
on stage after he got done but he it he booked it out of there because tom
referenced him in his
set at some point and it was written in the prompter as if ben would still be
there and he was
gone so i think either he got out because it didn't go the way he wanted it to
or he got out because
he's like i didn't realize it was going to be this kind of thing i'm i'm not
going to sit there
and get jokes told about me damn so but yeah it was uh that was it was weird so
he was just in and
out in and out yeah um and yeah what was it like when he was up there what's it
like when somebody's
up there and they are trying something right and it's maybe not being perceived
or going over as well
right we all do that yeah trying a new joke it's a brave way to do it it just
sucks for him that in
the reason his set went poorly um is because he committed to a joke that is the
whole like if
the joke doesn't work the whole set's gone because the whole set was this one
premise of i'm reading
a tweet and i'm talking back to this guy so if it the first joke bombs the
whole that's what's based
he didn't switch to another joke like for me one joke bombs i can get it back
in the next one totally
different reset but his was all about this one thing so much risk it was it was
it was not a good
something either he didn't prepare well enough or something happened but it was
but it could have
happened to anyone it's just yeah it happened to him and it sucked he's always
been a risk taker
though i feel like yeah and he doesn't give a fuck like no one's even talking
about whatever that was
like it'll be forgotten he'll be fine and he is a risk taker i like that he
even did it um and he had a
point of view you can tell it like he the whole premise of it was like i i tom
handed me my his phone one
day and i saw his messages and i couldn't even fathom what the hate he was
getting so he started
talking to that one of those people that was tweeting at him and you could tell
he was just
really that was his vendetta he wanted to say something to the fans because he's
been attacked
so much so yeah like he wanted to get something out that was inside of him it
just didn't come out the
right way but it was a good premise i think that was personal for him and
obviously to tom of getting so
much hate like do you jockey for position with the roasts on where you get to
be in the i tried you
know i said i want to go first how does that work you just like wait for them
to tell you what the
is going on because there's no like you don't know a lot they're just like here's
who's gonna be on
and then you find out like oh that person dropped out a week ago and i'm like
okay well i've been
writing about them for a week like can you tell me like it's kind of like who
dropped out mike tyson
um and then someone else i'll tell you off air but yeah like man or woman i'm
going to ask three
questions actually three men that dropped off two comedians uh mike tyson and
then one uh celebrity
mike tyson two comedians two comedians uh and they were men yeah and i don't
even know if they
were confirmed i maybe they were just names that were floated i wish oh i
because i i'm i'm friends
with him enough to be like don't drop out what are you doing this is great for
you you know but
um no it wasn't it wasn't tim and i don't don't tell us any names because i can't
lie and i'll
make you cut it i can't think of other people oh god great i'm so glad your
brain is doing exactly
what you said it was doing before i'm telling you the idea is just empty yeah
dang um but mike tyson so
he didn't want to do it or he just couldn't who knows he could have had
something that he had to go
i think at one point gronk was supposed to miss it he was on it and then they
took him off because
he had to go to a wedding and then he decided to come back on and i was like
thank god he made that
roast so as like it wouldn't have been the same without him so i'm so glad he
he decided to do it
the people that dropped out would have been great but it wasn't like they were
weren't showstoppers in
terms of like what's gonna happen they would have killed though i'm there's one
in particular that
i'm like come on man what are you doing you should have done it and i think he'd
dave attell probably
i wish he'd be amazing at it i've never seen him do a roast though i thought
too but yeah i i wanted to go
first because that's where i've gone before oh right after the host just open
it up and then
i'm done and i can relax and just enjoy the night i don't want to sit there all
night like thinking
about my set and like i just want to be done i always want to go first on shows
i i just don't
want to wait around and that's how i am during sex dude you know and people
yeah girls don't
understand it see i want them to go first and then like so i don't have to
worry about pleasing
yes yes exactly that's that yeah you're the same way yes yes i want to go get
my work done and then
i can relax and get my stuff done oh i see what you're like after i got you off
like now i feel
like i can just relax if i'm if like you know if i it's like when you massage
someone and you're like
i'll massage you after this like i can't enjoy the massage because i'm like i
have to massage this
bitch after this like oh yeah it's like kind of like that but i ended up uh
yeah i asked for 