Name: Nikki Glaser Almost Had a DISASTER During the Tom Brady Roast
Uploaded: 2024-05-15T03:07:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nikki Glaser Almost Had a DISASTER During the Tom Brady Roast' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nikki Glaser Almost Had a DISASTER During the Tom Brady Roast' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-15. Transcript available.

and were you wearing panties up there or not to be honest oh yeah totally oh
yeah you got i was
wearing i was actually yeah did you think about what panties you wear because
tom brady's gonna
be there do you is that like a is that a perverted thing to ask no not at all
actually i think um
really no it really um i think yeah you kind of do think and you know what if
there's no chance
i'm having sex i really don't give a you know and like no one's gonna see i don't
care so i don't
think i think that i wanted them to be black in case they something happened
and they show but
there was no chance of them showing my skirt wasn't as short as it may have
looked and oh this is
another thing oh i haven't said this before speaking of underwear and i was
going to say this and then i
go don't say this but i think it's kind of i think it's good yeah i think
people need to know what is
it i like right before my period ended like a day before the roast and so i was
like i'm good like
i was took out the last one like i don't know if you know how it works how many
do you do because
they're almost like cigarettes you don't do a whole pack do you um sometimes
like if you're
really like yeah oh you can go through not in a day it's in a day it's about
three or three two to
four in a day four on a very heavy day and maybe some girls are fives and some
days maybe a girl is
a one yeah i thought there was just one and then a couple days later you take
it out no way really
yeah yeah it's three or four a day we all thought that really well this is
three or four and i wouldn't
expect you to know that like it's like we're not talking about it yeah you're
gonna need the gum
to quit dude that's crazy what yeah i was doing oh wow no filter but i like but
yeah there's something
no so why doesn't marlboro make a tampon they they probably should it's with
some nicotine in it that's
a way to absorb it i mean you there's one you can soak vodka and get high if i'm
doing that but i um
yeah so i was on my last one and like at my age your period will stop and it'll
start and like
there's just us funky things it's like puttering out like it's like we don't
know what's going on so
i thought it was done and then i'm going to for my right to go to the bathroom
right before we go on
i'm like i'm just gonna pee one last time and like uh stuff like it's back on
more period
it's back wow it went from nothing for a day nothing i was done to it's enough
that something needs to be
like i can't just like wipe it and be like oh and um oh yeah and i'm in the
forum bathroom i mean
probably you're in a foreign bathroom forum at the key of forum i'm in the
bathroom in the backstage
so it's like in this like kind of party area it's not a bathroom that has like
women's products or
anything so i just made a tampon with i just went like this and just shoved it
up and corked it with
some toilet paper which any girl listening has done before really like yeah
because you either make up you
go like this and you make a pad and you put the pad like with a bunch of toilet
paper you make a pad
but i couldn't risk making a pad because i was wearing a thong it could have
just slipped out and
i'm wearing a dress and it falls out this like bloody napkin would fall out but
i swear to god i
didn't tuck it that well later on after the roast i went pee and i'm like it
was it was loose it could
have fallen out can you imagine on live tv if my napkin with blood on it like
toilet paper would have
fall like and it's not like a nice look it's like all crumpled up fell out like
what would i have done
like that kind of thought goes through my mind i'm like that was so close to
happening so close to
happening it's scary it's like one of those hospital scenes in dunkirk have you
seen dunkirk no but it's
like a war movie even if the cameras didn't catch it someone on the dais would
have done something with
it and then it would have been a thing and who would have done it that's let's
decide right now
uh well jeff ross jeff actually probably would have saved me and just seen it
and covered it up he's
like he yeah yes he would have said it was his like guys he would have put it
in as a pocket square
yeah yeah he would have he would have had my back but um yeah or you could have
said oh i
he could have been like oh i thought what's her name was on the day it's the
lady from that blood movie
oh oh the woman that talks like this yeah theranos yeah elizabeth holmes yeah
they could
be like oh elizabeth holmes is here yeah that would have been good that's good
but yeah like
did you ever think about things like that like oh my god that could have gone
so bad do you have
like waves of any time i've done anything you're like oh my god i could have
said that word or what
like yeah dude it's live tv the things i could have done and i know what word
it is dude and yeah
and you don't want to say it dude you can say it in your car but no man but
yeah and you don't
want to say it and it's like but yeah it's like very scary like when they do
like we did
good morning football or whatever yeah and it was for the sec championship and
it was live and i was
like i would never let me do live tv like i just don't even know what's going
to go you know i just
don't always know how i'm going to be if something gets me so scary you did how
did it go i'm guessing it
was great it went okay oh my god that's so scary is that pat mcafee yeah oh
yeah i love him he crushed
it he's so great it was it was really fun but it was just i never realized what
it's like being live
and like and go yeah you're like what yeah but you've done like morning tv and
like local markets
that's the closest we get to doing something like this because that's live but
it's like this is pretty
live and you can take some stuff out but did you was there part of you that
thinks i may have a chance
with tom i mean you're a attractive lady you're very funny you actually look
kind of like giselle
you know that's really nice of you and people are going to comment that he theo
was on one when he
said that but i will say um he's on that dust exactly well i will say that i i
have a boyfriend
so i was like no but he would understand yeah he would left him for tom yeah
who's not going to
understand i'm not going to leave him for him but if i bang tom like i think he'd
probably be like
you gotta do it yeah get in there like but i that wasn't in my i really did not
think that but yeah
i mean like i will say that you know i've i've done these roasts before and
last time i was single
and i like did a bunch of jokes about wanting to Blake griffin because he was
gonna be there and i
would i mean i would he's an attractive man i was single so i was like i'll
throw in jokes about
that and just see what happens and it's a joke you know like i don't really
want it's a joke but yeah
was there a little bit of like i would maybe like try me like i'm not like just
gonna do oh oh he'll
fuck me in a bat like if he wants to and like he's charming like it's a way to
flirt it's definitely
a way to open the conversation yeah um so yeah