Name: Theo on Pigeons
Uploaded: 2024-06-07T16:45:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo on Pigeons' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo on Pigeons' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-07. Transcript available.

all right check check chicken check your chicken baby check your chicken god
how do you know if a
chicken is a woman i guess if it has an egg huh but now there's definitely
there's got to be a
lot of dude chickens like that will just like hide an egg under their little
chicken arm or
whatever it's called little uh flat like feather chicken arm um there's got to
be a lot of little
and they hide and then when they and then they sneak over by the women chickens
and then just
kind of sneak it out a lot of dude chickens trying to get over there and just
hang out with the uh
babe chickens so there's got to be a lot that's the thing it's like you don't
even know a man chicken
maybe you just look at it in its eyes you know say are you a man chicken or not
but yeah i think there's got to be a lot of um female chickens that are men
that are closeted
men or whatever or that are just hiding an egg like and then when nobody's
looking they just
just lay that bitch down and then pretend that they're women and sit over there
with the with
the women chickens and watch my 700 pound uh um wakeboarder or whatever i don't
even know what
some of the shows that women are watching now i think my 600 pound dental
assistant or whatever
there's like all there's like yeah there's a show the other day it was like my
440 pound mailman or
whatever like dude if that you're never getting your mail if that's who is
helping you out that you
you're not getting any mail so um but yeah that's the thing now you don't a lot
of chickens you don't
know if they are real chickens you don't know who's being a woman chicken who's
being just a sneaky man
chicken hiding an egg under its little um wing or whatever that's the word wing
yeah you don't know
who's hiding a little egg under its wing and then it just sneaks over there by
the women and it's just
like and just drops that bitch off baby like they're one of easter's little hit
men baby they're just
that's a that's a lot of uh men in disguise being women nowadays um all over so
yeah like that train
it's like that trans swimmer at the penn state or whatever or penn or uh
university of pennsylvania
it's like that trans swimmer that's the kind of chickens they have nowadays a
lot of men chickens
are sneaking in a women's chicken world and being women's chickens because it's
easier probably
that's why i would guess and maybe because they get a little bit more attention
um
and some of that makes sense it's like if we don't if men don't get any
attention for being men if
they're not rewarded anymore for being men then they some they will some will
slink over to woman woman
to being a woman just to still get attention because even as creatures i
believe that we need attention
as male or female creatures um i'm grateful to be here baby just a gaggle of
pigeons
you know that's what i am sometimes dude i looked at a damn pigeon the other
day and let's be honest
bro these bitches are they don't have any shoulders bro right so right out the
gate you know they
fucking probably
you know they're lying about a lot of shit and they just kind of they fucking
they look like they've been smoking too a lot of pigeons are just doves that
that uh smoke
that's it dude if you want to know what smoking will do to your lungs look at a
dove and then look
at a pigeon baby look at a fucking pigeon dude pigeons are just doves that you
know probably were
raised in philadelphia or something dude don't lie to me that pigeons aren't
from philadelphia okay and
new jersey you could look at a pigeon easy dude they're all you know there's
like 70 videos of pigeons
trying to smoke online you telling me that's a coincidence get smacked homie
them bitches are from jersey and philly
philly they can't even fly some of them walked down to new orleans and houston
and they're down there sipping out of puddles
you know eating gum there's a picture of a pigeon eating gum online there's a
video of a pigeon eating gum
they don't give a fuck dude they can't fly imagine watching a pigeon walk they
walk at night because
they're i think ashamed of kind of how their body is but a lot of them walk at
night down south to
fucking party because you know every puddle in new orleans has booze in it them
fucking puddles are 12 proof
homie dude you hit it you you hit a pothole bro and you're fucking your tire
will be like
your tire will want another sip your tire will cruise into another pothole just
to get another little slurp
off that 12 proof water baby everything down there got booze in it
yeah every pigeon should have to wear an eagle's jersey that's a fact every
pigeon should have to wear an eagle's jersey
dude i was at the doctor the other day i saw a pigeon there
what kind of bird goes to the doctor not one of god's birds buddy pigeons dirt
birds dick chickens
that's all they are bro that's all they are
pigeons menthol spunk hens park oysters dude that's all they are is damn land
oysters
that's what they are so we got to recognize that kind of shit and just so you
just got to recognize if you
you know some guy the other day was showing his uh
that he was showing his son a pigeon
and i was like that's you don't show your son
a pigeon
okay you don't you don't show your son a pigeon
you show your son a damn
eagle
or an egret
or a flamingo dude
a gay egret
but you don't show your son a pigeon
unless you're lazy
you take your son to the damn dove park
take him a drive behind a church
and when the doves get off work introduce your son
to a decent bird
you piece of shit
sorry
and i'm sorry about that language but
yeah i saw some guy the other day introducing his son to a couple pigeons in a
park
fucking a lot of pigeons are bookies
look under their wing
jets minus seven it'll say