Name: $uicideboy$ Get Real About Their Past Dr*g Use
Uploaded: 2024-06-20T16:48:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '$uicideboy$ Get Real About Their Past Dr*g Use' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '$uicideboy$ Get Real About Their Past Dr*g Use' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-20. Transcript available.

my friend had a joke of like how people in louisiana like blue collar guys
workers
they'll like verbally express their resume to you to hire them but their resume
is like oh i don't
do pills no more i do good work like whatever and that's that's how they get
the job i'd rather
hire if you do do pills they do better work 90 degree angles only bro one dude
told me once
yeah that's what we expected when i was off that shit bro i was on it bro
really employee of the
month depends on which specific one it was oh yeah when i was managing a
restaurant xanax was
not my friend i let them do whatever they wanted i think that's where me and me
and you differ they
were they were all my friends yeah some were better friends than others wife
you want you want to i
mean who was a better who or i don't know the term for better drug user i wasn't
good at it i was too
i think i got i was too sensitive with drugs um scott and i were both way too
good he started he
started young started i started young um i started young and then basically by
16
by 16 i was i was i had my first pain pill i was drinking before that and every
time i drank i
blacked out like you know what i'm talking about i couldn't help it you know
you would do it every
time oh yeah every time it wasn't like scott was balls to the walls balls to
the wall every time yeah
that was it yeah i had no control whatsoever but i took my first pain pill at
16 and then from then
i was like fuck i want to i want to feel like this every day like i get it now
because i grew up the
way i grew up i hated all that shit from just growing up how i did and i was
like i i'm never
going to touch any of that and i didn't for a long time until i did and then
once i did you know it's
like it's like i get it yeah i get it now i get why so from 16 on till 2019 um
every day yeah it was
it was everyday balls to the wall it started with pain pills went to stronger
pain pills went to heroin
then the worst he got was toward the end where i was just speedballing all day
like 20 adderall a day
and 20 xanax a day to calm me down from that that's the louisiana speedball
yeah yeah that's the yeah
and then um you know whatever opiates we can get fentanyl patches whatever dude
oh yeah people will do
pickleback heroin yeah yeah people will be like what are you doing bro that
drug's always been super
like prevalent down here especially in new orleans you know um yeah what about
your like your first do
you remember taking your first pain pill ever or no i do i do wow i had surgery
when i was 13 i had uh
two ankles uh two screws put in my ankles uh for a skateboarding injury that i
got into when i was 13 and
they did surgery and then i was prescribed vicodin and i would just like lay in
my bed the vicodin
pill bottle be like above on my headboard and like every few hours i was
supposed to take one
and uh i got hooked and after i got recovered and i started like being a
teenager and being
social and all that stuff that's what i wanted to find was painkillers oh yeah
i remember once i took
a couple of somas bro and i didn't i felt like i didn't have any arms for
almost half a day well
like the trinity is supposed to be yeah the trinity percocet a soma and a xanax
you ever seen the
pharmacist that like documentary yeah yeah that's y'all yeah yeah that was the
thing bro it was like
200 200 lower tabs 180 xanax and 120 soma it was like the trinity that they
prescribed to everyone
yeah oh i remember they busted a mall santa in terrytown with like uh 100 somas
on them or something
shout out shout out big terrytown yeah yeah bro a town full of so many terry's
they named it after
them hey terry'll get your flooring bro that's crazy you remember your first
pain pill oh yeah
that's crazy to think of how strong they are and how powerful they are that
that's like a core memory
bro it's like a very euphoric like it's like almost like a coming to jesus
moment like it's like
mine happened in a different situation my my papa had passed away when i was 16
and me he was like my
dad um you know uh me and me and him were super tired i loved that man um and
when he passed away
you know i came across a a pain pill coping with the sadness yeah and i you
know at that point i was
just like you know like this is too painful i can't deal with this it um and
you know he had his
funeral that day and our for me it had the opposite effect i didn't get sick um
i didn't get tired i
got i felt like great i think it's sick i know i felt you for you know what i'm
saying like i was
running around the funeral home i gave i gave a eulogy everybody's standing
here bro you'll give a
goddamn emancipation he only look i will say to the day to this day i've heard
it's the only eulogy with a
trap beat behind it so i was like that that's the rumor going around yeah dang
that's crazy so do you
think you would have been able to get that eulogy if you weren't on the pills
no wow so that's i was
i was too hurt i wonder if that's how like i wonder if that was that like the
first time you ever like
kind of spoke like it was the first time in my life that i was comfortable in
my skin
that i felt like my whole life i like there was something off like i didn't
belong here you know
what i'm saying like i could never be comfortable in my own skin that was the
first time where that
happened to me i i felt good i didn't have a care in the world um yeah and i
was like i i made it a
point i'm i i told myself i remember i'm gonna feel like this every day for the
rest of my life and i
that's what i set out to do from the time i woke up to the time i went to sleep
and that's so how does
music even get started then by you guys if y'all are already well it's hard to
get a pill head to
finish painting the baseboards i'm probably the most productive if you hold
pills above their head
you get them to do anything you want anything you want they'll do it what was
it like like
if you're like on pills and you're deep out on pills i never really got that
out on them you know
if you're like um huff and trank or whatever i don't even know what some of the
names are
you know yeah yeah yeah swamp pebbles or whatever you're buying out here just
looking for anything
oh bro they'll have a tilapia flavored perk out here bro in new wallace they
don't give a
shit bro you'll have a pecan crusted zan bar out here like what the everybody
wants to be a chef in
this that's pretty funny bro that's crazy yeah yeah holley nadderall's yeah oh
you'll have a bag
of char grilled somas over here crazy dude that's pretty funny bro but um what
was it like making
music when you're under that influence is it is it even possible to make music
when you're like
like that kind of pill high i don't know so i'm just curious like yeah is it
just possible to just
like listen back or is it do you feel any creative was there any creativity
from the actual high of
that i don't know if we worked differently because i know sometimes you would
wait until after we were
done but this was early on to smoke yeah weed it's uh i still smoke weed i
couldn't go without it now
i ruby couldn't either you know what i'm saying so we were constantly on it all
day so it's kind of like
just feeling normal um yeah i would i would agree with that yeah it was don't
you doze off and
shit oh yeah that's like look how do you find it so the way you're both awake
at the same time to
make a try when you take a percocet first thing in the morning or whatever your
oxy whatever it is
it's going to give you a boost like i'll come out of that bathroom snorting
something and i'm like
what's up motherfuckers like i'm like on one and then the as you keep dosing at
the end of the day
it's kind of like when you've you know you've done all day it and that's when
you start to kind
of nod off it's like your body's like okay yeah you know for a long time um i
would argue
that drugs kept me alive um because i i just i didn't know how to live in this
world i didn't
want to live in this world at all but at the same time didn't quite have the
balls to take myself out
oh yeah so everything so i'd say that drugs kept me alive for a long time i
mean uh you know
what made you have so much pain you think like what was it what was the tough
part for you you think
well i think it was a mixture dude i think it was um like i said just just
being born like i just
feeling out of place like always like something wasn't right um which is like a
common theme with
addicts yeah yeah yeah like i'm a large in the worlds of media yeah the world's
of 7xl exactly
i'm wandering around my own shirt i'm trying to find a neck hole bro so i think
it's a and they've
done a lot of i mean they've done a lot of work on this and and they know it's
like genetics i won't
get into all that but you know yeah part of that and i think also you know the
way i grew up and
you know when i say this dude i'm not i love everyone in my family um i go i'll
go above and
beyond for any one of them but you know everybody was doing the best they could
yeah what they knew
how to do um but it was still tough you know it was it was some tough to grow
up in
you know so um that didn't help but i tell you the biggest thing and i'll shut
up that way i don't get
too overwinded with this because i have a tendency to do that but
uh i always thought like this thing like okay the drugs are not working anymore
they're not
doing it for me but this thing this thing's gonna do it for me once we get to
that place whatever that
place is in my head whenever i get that thing um that's gonna do it for me and
then i got really
suicidal when we got there whatever they are wherever there is nothing changed
and nothing yeah changed i
felt now i feel worse because if this don't work yeah what's gonna do it and
that's you know that's
when i really started to to spiral and for me and i'll end it with this uh the
answer for me
has been getting involved in the 12-step programs yeah it's been more of a
spiritual answer
rather than the material you know yeah man i remember i was in my garage it was
like two years
probably two years ago man i was ball i'm talking my brother on the phone i was
like
nothing will save me it was like i got people that like me i thought that's
what was my problem same
if enough people like me i'll like me yes yeah yeah yeah and it was like man
yeah one day it makes me
emotional i it's asked backwards because you have to like yourself first and
then yeah the other stuff
but it's crazy to think man you know that that's kind of the way that it that
it could kind of process
and and um yeah but i see you in the rooms man it gives me a lot of hope every
time i see you same
with you bro dude i was in going you know i was in the way you run your rooms
bro and not to over talk
you but it's like you know you have a lot of respect of a lot of people in
there and it's um
it's cool man i've been blessed bro and and to for you bro i was i was yeah
they taste kind of shitty
you want a fresh one all right come on brother let me at least do you that
service
yeah bro look uh we can't be popping pills bro we're gonna nick it out um no
but theo i was three months
sober bro just living on my own just got to where i was living on my own in california
where i went got
sober and i came across your video on youtube that was my introduction to you
and it was why i got sober
it was that video and then from there you know i watched that video and you
inspired me bro and you
gave me hope and then that's when i did a deep dive on you started watching all
like your greatest hits
and highlights and laughing my ass off but that's funny that's how i came to
know you but
yeah before we even knew each other bro you you you gave me a little bump when
i needed it too with
that video dang man thanks bro yeah it's crazy kind of i think the connection
that people get
going through like if they're using or if they're recovering it's like yeah on
both sides of that if
it seems like there's probably a lot of connection you guys could probably
speak to that huh you think
what you mean like even on the using side there's like a level of connection
that that keeps people oh
yeah yeah i mean that'll keep you in in the act of addiction by you know you
kind of almost when i was
buying pills and and snorting roxies i never wanted to do them alone and so i
would share with
everybody and i was making money so i could buy a bunch and i would share with
people that were my
friends that didn't make as much money and they were glad happy to get free
pills and i could like
be in my dark but not alone i think a lot of addicts are chasing loneliness
they're chasing
uh they're having trouble with self-acceptance and i think finding your little
group of like similar
drugs that you want to do together definitely makes you feel like you're safe
and at home
yeah and then the exact opposite happens when you get off of them too you find
your people that
want to stay away from that and it kind of strengthens your um your little
community that
you're in yeah yeah it's interesting though that you guys were at least had a
close enough connection
because a lot of vans fall apart from that kind of stuff a lot of our groups a
lot of teams fall
up everything falls we're family i'm glad i know you know that but we're family
right but for you to go
there and want to actually just to think let me see what's really going on dude
we've never even hit
each other like we've gotten in each other's faces ready to beat the out of
each other
and we've both been able like you're my cousin and i don't want to do that i
don't want to hit
you yeah i hate you right now but i'm not going to touch you like and it's gone
both ways and i say
that the family thing which obviously doesn't apply to everybody but we've been
able to look at the fact
that we're cousins and the fact that we provide for our families which is a
shared family as a reason
to never give up on each other yeah if this was just one of my friends i i don't
think it would have
been the same no like no no it's that's good that you brought that up because a
lot of
a lot of groups just don't make it in general and doing business with family is
usually not a smart
way to go but for us i mean the only time it worked out yeah i think it's just
a unique situation bro
we got it we both got the same granny to answer to and she ain't nothing nice
you know what i'm saying
like she's a scary woman before scary woman she done facetimed me before being
like you making music
without your cousin you know like like pressing me and i was like and i'd have
to call her and be like
granny i got it yeah yeah yeah
Thank you.

$uicideboy$ Get Real About Their Past Dr*g Use

my friend had a joke of like how people in louisiana like blue collar guys
workers
they'll like verbally express their resume to you to hire them but their resume
is like oh i don't
do pills no more i do good work like whatever and that's that's how they get
the job i'd rather
hire if you do do pills they do better work 90 degree angles only bro one dude
told me once
yeah that's what we expected when i was off that shit bro i was on it bro
really employee of the
month depends on which specific one it was oh yeah when i was managing a
restaurant xanax was
not my friend i let them do whatever they wanted i think that's where me and me
and you differ they
were they were all my friends yeah some were better friends than others wife
you want you want to i
mean who was a better who or i don't know the term for better drug user i wasn't
good at it i was too
i think i got i was too sensitive with drugs um scott and i were both way too
good he started he
started young started i started young um i started young and then basically by
16
by 16 i was i was i had my first pain pill i was drinking before that and every
time i drank i
blacked out like you know what i'm talking about i couldn't help it you know
you would do it every
time oh yeah every time it wasn't like scott was balls to the walls balls to
the wall every time yeah
that was it yeah i had no control whatsoever but i took my first pain pill at
16 and then from then
i was like fuck i want to i want to feel like this every day like i get it now
because i grew up the
way i grew up i hated all that shit from just growing up how i did and i was
like i i'm never
going to touch any of that and i didn't for a long time until i did and then
once i did you know it's
like it's like i get it yeah i get it now i get why so from 16 on till 2019 um
every day yeah it was
it was everyday balls to the wall it started with pain pills went to stronger
pain pills went to heroin
then the worst he got was toward the end where i was just speedballing all day
like 20 adderall a day
and 20 xanax a day to calm me down from that that's the louisiana speedball
yeah yeah that's the yeah
and then um you know whatever opiates we can get fentanyl patches whatever dude
oh yeah people will do
pickleback heroin yeah yeah people will be like what are you doing bro that
drug's always been super
like prevalent down here especially in new orleans you know um yeah what about
your like your first do
you remember taking your first pain pill ever or no i do i do wow i had surgery
when i was 13 i had uh
two ankles uh two screws put in my ankles uh for a skateboarding injury that i
got into when i was 13 and
they did surgery and then i was prescribed vicodin and i would just like lay in
my bed the vicodin
pill bottle be like above on my headboard and like every few hours i was
supposed to take one
and uh i got hooked and after i got recovered and i started like being a
teenager and being
social and all that stuff that's what i wanted to find was painkillers oh yeah
i remember once i took
a couple of somas bro and i didn't i felt like i didn't have any arms for
almost half a day well
like the trinity is supposed to be yeah the trinity percocet a soma and a xanax
you ever seen the
pharmacist that like documentary yeah yeah that's y'all yeah yeah that was the
thing bro it was like
200 200 lower tabs 180 xanax and 120 soma it was like the trinity that they
prescribed to everyone
yeah oh i remember they busted a mall santa in terrytown with like uh 100 somas
on them or something
shout out shout out big terrytown yeah yeah bro a town full of so many terry's
they named it after
them hey terry'll get your flooring bro that's crazy you remember your first
pain pill oh yeah
that's crazy to think of how strong they are and how powerful they are that
that's like a core memory
bro it's like a very euphoric like it's like almost like a coming to jesus
moment like it's like
mine happened in a different situation my my papa had passed away when i was 16
and me he was like my
dad um you know uh me and me and him were super tired i loved that man um and
when he passed away
you know i came across a a pain pill coping with the sadness yeah and i you
know at that point i was
just like you know like this is too painful i can't deal with this it um and
you know he had his
funeral that day and our for me it had the opposite effect i didn't get sick um
i didn't get tired i
got i felt like great i think it's sick i know i felt you for you know what i'm
saying like i was
running around the funeral home i gave i gave a eulogy everybody's standing
here bro you'll give a
goddamn emancipation he only look i will say to the day to this day i've heard
it's the only eulogy with a
trap beat behind it so i was like that that's the rumor going around yeah dang
that's crazy so do you
think you would have been able to get that eulogy if you weren't on the pills
no wow so that's i was
i was too hurt i wonder if that's how like i wonder if that was that like the
first time you ever like
kind of spoke like it was the first time in my life that i was comfortable in
my skin
that i felt like my whole life i like there was something off like i didn't
belong here you know
what i'm saying like i could never be comfortable in my own skin that was the
first time where that
happened to me i i felt good i didn't have a care in the world um yeah and i
was like i i made it a
point i'm i i told myself i remember i'm gonna feel like this every day for the
rest of my life and i
that's what i set out to do from the time i woke up to the time i went to sleep
and that's so how does
music even get started then by you guys if y'all are already well it's hard to
get a pill head to
finish painting the baseboards i'm probably the most productive if you hold
pills above their head
you get them to do anything you want anything you want they'll do it what was
it like like
if you're like on pills and you're deep out on pills i never really got that
out on them you know
if you're like um huff and trank or whatever i don't even know what some of the
names are
you know yeah yeah yeah swamp pebbles or whatever you're buying out here just
looking for anything
oh bro they'll have a tilapia flavored perk out here bro in new wallace they
don't give a
shit bro you'll have a pecan crusted zan bar out here like what the everybody
wants to be a chef in
this that's pretty funny bro that's crazy yeah yeah holley nadderall's yeah oh
you'll have a bag
of char grilled somas over here crazy dude that's pretty funny bro but um what
was it like making
music when you're under that influence is it is it even possible to make music
when you're like
like that kind of pill high i don't know so i'm just curious like yeah is it
just possible to just
like listen back or is it do you feel any creative was there any creativity
from the actual high of
that i don't know if we worked differently because i know sometimes you would
wait until after we were
done but this was early on to smoke yeah weed it's uh i still smoke weed i
couldn't go without it now
i ruby couldn't either you know what i'm saying so we were constantly on it all
day so it's kind of like
just feeling normal um yeah i would i would agree with that yeah it was don't
you doze off and
shit oh yeah that's like look how do you find it so the way you're both awake
at the same time to
make a try when you take a percocet first thing in the morning or whatever your
oxy whatever it is
it's going to give you a boost like i'll come out of that bathroom snorting
something and i'm like
what's up motherfuckers like i'm like on one and then the as you keep dosing at
the end of the day
it's kind of like when you've you know you've done all day it and that's when
you start to kind
of nod off it's like your body's like okay yeah you know for a long time um i
would argue
that drugs kept me alive um because i i just i didn't know how to live in this
world i didn't
want to live in this world at all but at the same time didn't quite have the
balls to take myself out
oh yeah so everything so i'd say that drugs kept me alive for a long time i
mean uh you know
what made you have so much pain you think like what was it what was the tough
part for you you think
well i think it was a mixture dude i think it was um like i said just just
being born like i just
feeling out of place like always like something wasn't right um which is like a
common theme with
addicts yeah yeah yeah like i'm a large in the worlds of media yeah the world's
of 7xl exactly
i'm wandering around my own shirt i'm trying to find a neck hole bro so i think
it's a and they've
done a lot of i mean they've done a lot of work on this and and they know it's
like genetics i won't
get into all that but you know yeah part of that and i think also you know the
way i grew up and
you know when i say this dude i'm not i love everyone in my family um i go i'll
go above and
beyond for any one of them but you know everybody was doing the best they could
yeah what they knew
how to do um but it was still tough you know it was it was some tough to grow
up in
you know so um that didn't help but i tell you the biggest thing and i'll shut
up that way i don't get
too overwinded with this because i have a tendency to do that but
uh i always thought like this thing like okay the drugs are not working anymore
they're not
doing it for me but this thing this thing's gonna do it for me once we get to
that place whatever that
place is in my head whenever i get that thing um that's gonna do it for me and
then i got really
suicidal when we got there whatever they are wherever there is nothing changed
and nothing yeah changed i
felt now i feel worse because if this don't work yeah what's gonna do it and
that's you know that's
when i really started to to spiral and for me and i'll end it with this uh the
answer for me
has been getting involved in the 12-step programs yeah it's been more of a
spiritual answer
rather than the material you know yeah man i remember i was in my garage it was
like two years
probably two years ago man i was ball i'm talking my brother on the phone i was
like
nothing will save me it was like i got people that like me i thought that's
what was my problem same
if enough people like me i'll like me yes yeah yeah yeah and it was like man
yeah one day it makes me
emotional i it's asked backwards because you have to like yourself first and
then yeah the other stuff
but it's crazy to think man you know that that's kind of the way that it that
it could kind of process
and and um yeah but i see you in the rooms man it gives me a lot of hope every
time i see you same
with you bro dude i was in going you know i was in the way you run your rooms
bro and not to over talk
you but it's like you know you have a lot of respect of a lot of people in
there and it's um
it's cool man i've been blessed bro and and to for you bro i was i was yeah
they taste kind of shitty
you want a fresh one all right come on brother let me at least do you that
service
yeah bro look uh we can't be popping pills bro we're gonna nick it out um no
but theo i was three months
sober bro just living on my own just got to where i was living on my own in california
where i went got
sober and i came across your video on youtube that was my introduction to you
and it was why i got sober
it was that video and then from there you know i watched that video and you
inspired me bro and you
gave me hope and then that's when i did a deep dive on you started watching all
like your greatest hits
and highlights and laughing my ass off but that's funny that's how i came to
know you but
yeah before we even knew each other bro you you you gave me a little bump when
i needed it too with
that video dang man thanks bro yeah it's crazy kind of i think the connection
that people get
going through like if they're using or if they're recovering it's like yeah on
both sides of that if
it seems like there's probably a lot of connect